My daughter is 2 yrs old and her father has only spent a total of 4 visits with her. He's got 2 other children with his ex-wife but, left her for her best friend and now the girl hangs up on the children and he just doesn't even bother with my child. He knows for a fact that she's his but still he doesn't do anything for her except the allotment which is 300 per month. He's in the military and I'm sure they don't know about his affairs what can I do?
2007-07-19 08:52:32 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If he is paying support, your not likely to be able to terminate his rights unless he abuses your daughter and that doesn't sound like the case, since he is hardly ever around. He might voluntarily give them up, but not likely. If his rights are terminated be aware that he may no longer have to pay support depending on divorce circumstances and the state law where the decree of divorce was given.
2007-07-19 08:59:14 · answer #1 · answered by rumbler_12 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you contacted your child's father and asked him to terminate his rights. And if he is willing or not you may need to get the court system involved and start making some things happen. But a friend of mine had a trifling baby daddy and she basically addressed him with the choice of have nothing every to do with their child including child support (for some men that's all it takes) and he willing terminated his rights for their child. Which now he has no legal say so in this child's life. He has no rights.
But think about this thoroughly before you go off and start making comments. Because this change will last a life time.
2007-07-19 16:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by It's me 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, just because he's listed as the father doesn't make him a father. Second, if you terminate his rights...you terminate the $300 a month he gives to your daughter. Third, according to the law, he has rights to have visitation w/ your daughter but that doesn't mean he has to visit. Fourth, the military will not do anything. They can't force him to visit your kid or be an actual father.
You are very lucky that he supports your kid financially because there hundreds of dead-beat dads who don't spend time or a dime on their kids.
Basically, on your part, you can get male role models in your daughter's life. Positive people who will love her & cherish her as the precious person she is.
2007-07-19 16:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by delilahbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about what you are doing...if it is the girl that is hanging up, he may not know she is doing that. We girls can be devious when we want to keep our guys...
Secondly, at least he is paying child support...a lot of guys can and choose not to.
He may be going to a stupid phase right now...he may get his life and priorities together later. We NONE of us are perfect, and we ALL make mistakes...and how would you feel if someone were judging you and deciding your future based on one idiotic move.
Give him time and a chance...you daughter will only have one father, don't take that away from her. If he loses his daughter, then it is his fault, but if you make her lose him, she may later blame you.
Take a deep breath and think about it...what would it really cost you right now to just let things go and work themselves out in time? Your daughter is only 2 years old...she still has a lifetime to work out her relationship with her father...you gotta leave that option to her.
2007-07-19 16:01:14 · answer #4 · answered by hunnygril 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THe legal end of terminating parental rights has two parts...
Does he want to give up any rights? If he is that negative he might just consent... That normally can be a simple court preceeding that just requires two signatures... and a judge... However if he fights you you just have to prove that he doesn't have your childs best in mind and that he may be a harm to your child. You could at the least fight for supervised visitation since he sees her so little.... It would be a fight if he doesn't consent but it might be worth it... State forms are easy to get to start the process....
2007-07-19 16:04:13 · answer #5 · answered by tammy p 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not active, why terminate it? Are you looking to not get child support anymore? Is he a problem for your child? My daughter has a 7 year old and his father pays child support (when forced to), but the little guy has no idea who his father is. Hasn't seen him since he was about 2. He still has parental rights, but doesn't do anything about it. Wait till there is someone in your life who wants to adopt your child as his own. Then offer that as an option to the father, which means no more child support and he will probably jump at the chance. In the mean time, do nothing until there is a problem.
2007-07-19 15:59:34 · answer #6 · answered by Linda K 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If I were you, I would not terminate his rights. That would give him an easy way out. Be happy that he is paying. I know lots of women that don't get squat for their kids. Keep collecting the check, and do something with it for her!
My hubby pays 1/2 of his check to his ex for their 2 children. It makes it hard for us to survive sometimes, but it is his responsibility to take care of his children.
2007-07-19 16:16:16 · answer #7 · answered by Kristi H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YIKES !!she would also gets other benefits like medical and if he is injured or God forbid killed in action or gets hit by a downtown bus, SHE is entitled to his death benefits of about 200.000 which you might receive on her behalf as a guardian and SS will send her to college.+ this is 300 dollars NOW every mo without other parent influence.
Have you thought this through? Have you thought what this means to her future, mom?
or are you just mad right now? lol
I think I would sit on this a few years and decide after you chat with some other ex- Army wives(like me) add to all this on her behalf
he may mature, take you back to court with a Jag at about no expence to him and THOUSANDS to you. I don't care who wants to marry you and adopt her....just think on this and don't jump the gun.
2007-07-19 16:18:10 · answer #8 · answered by to tell ya the truth........... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change his rights other than in court. But.... I have an ex husband that i had the same problem with he paid child support but didnt really want to spend much time with his son..and when he did it was more for the grandmothers sake. so the father was active in his life.
but now that my son is 13 his father treats him the same very distant and does not make him a priority in his life..my son TOLD ME THE OTHER DAY THAT HE THINKS HIS LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF I DECIDED FROM DAY ONE TO NOT MAKE HIM AN ACTIVE PART OF HIS LIFE. HE SAID ITS BETTER THAT IF HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE FATHER THAN KEEP HIM AWAY. WHT BE A PART OF MY LIFE AND REMIND ME DAILY HOW MUCH HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE A FATHER. IT HURTS ME..................
TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER AND RUN............RAISE HER TO KNOW THAT FATHERS ARE GOOD AND STICK AROUND
2007-07-19 16:04:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His affairs are his business and not yours. He pays child support for his child he had with you. You cannot take his parental rights away from him. If he is in the service, it sounds like he can't visit the way you would like him to. What he misses out on is his problem, and not your problem, or to make it your child's resentment or problem.
2007-07-19 18:47:01 · answer #10 · answered by Nana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋