i really need advice/help about love life?

Question

hi, im best friends with these two people who are seeing each other. ive been BEST friends with the boy for 7 years n BEST friends with the girl for 5! me and the boy have history, hes my daughters god father (dad isnt on the scene) and i totally love him. he says he loves me too but i dont want to hurt my best friend (girl) at all! i really dont know what to do as its really getting me down. we havent done anything s*xual, just kissed. our circle of friends is really close and they a;; want us to be together as the girl is really nasty and controlling and mean! im not sure what else to say except HELP! im going mad, i will post replies too if anyone wants to know anything xxx

thanks everybody, this is helpful, please keep posting.....

Answer 1

you can't really do much. it's his decision. it's all him. he needs to choose who he wants to be with.

Answer 2

You are best friends with a girl who is "nasty, controlling, and mean" and you want her boyfriend without hurting her?

If you've known this guy for 7 years and neither of you has made a move yet, I don't think anything is going to come of it (no matter how much you think you love him now)

Keep your distance (until they break up) or you'll lose 2 best friends

Answer 3

You have to be honest to yourself and everyone involved. She may be a little hurt by hearing the news, but she'd he a lot more hurt if the two of you ended up doing something, and then your relationship would be destroyed. Tell her how much it upsets you to tell her this, but you cherish her friendship and it is killing you, and that you want to be with your Male friend. Be as gentle as possible.
Are you call your female friend nasty and controlling and mean? because if that is the case, why would you care what she thinks, if you truely love him, go for it.

Answer 4

Why are you friends with a girl that is nasty and controlling and mean?

I think that's what you need to address first. I mean, is this girl really someone you want to be friends with? Because if it is, you'd be kicking her and her friendship to the curb if you decide to try a relationship with her man.

On the other hand, if the girl is just horrible and not much of a friend anyway, then maybe you have an obligation to this guy friend to tell him that he's with someone that is heinous. And then let him decide what to do about it.

If he leaves her, then you're free to date him, and should have no worries about what you have done.

But it really is something you need to think long and hard about. Do you really want to risk hurting someone that you said was one of your best friends?

Answer 5

If she's your best friend why are you considering it? I mean really I would tell you to go for it. Life is to short to live it not being with the one you want. That's a sticky situation so be careful. Another question, if he loves you why is he with her? Don't be so quick to jump for a possibility. Look at all ends of the story, and look at all the consequences of what you're thinking. You could lose a best friend but you could gain a good relationship. Weigh the pros and cons and see whats more important to you.

Answer 6

If I understand your story, you've been best friends with a very nice guy and a very mean girl, and the two of them are dating?

Your first obligation is to your daughter, of course. Don't do anything that will come between her and her godfather, hurt her, or make things uncomfortable and weird between the two of them.

As far as the friends are concerned, if you want to wreck both friendships, butt in. Otherwise, butt out. If she's mean, he'll figure it out. If you're in the way, that's going to make it more difficult. Let it run its course.

Good luck--

Answer 7

Make up your mind. If your BEST friend is NASTY to your BEST friend whom you have fallen in love with, then PICK one. When you pick HIM, record her at her worst, in case he doesn't know about it, send it to him... get in the middle of it if everything you say is true and do something about it!
You won't end up with both of them, get that straight in your mind, now! Like John Lennon told us, there are no questions, only answers, so go out and make some! Geez, you only live once you know!

Answer 8

If you really love him, tell him, and her, and see where it goes from there. Let your friend know you don't want to hurt her but you're having feelings for this person, because really the person you need to be true to is yourself!! what could come of this? You may never know if you aren't willing to take the chance!!!

Answer 9

Just give it time. If he is really unhappy being with her then he will end it with her. Until he does that, you're off limits. You don't want her to think you went behind her back and stole him from her, do you? Just go with the flow for a while and see where it takes you.

Answer 10

from what you said, I think the guy needs figure out what he wants and either stay in his current relationship or end it and start one with you... but he doesnt need to be leading either of you around... As for my advise on what you should do I will refer you to a quote that one of my good friends refers to a lot....


"Don't be afraid to go after what you want to do and what you want to be, but don't be afraid to be willing to pay the price" -Lane Frost, 8 seconds

~ The best of luck

Answer 11

well if he loves you than he needs to decides who he wants to be with.. if he chooses you than you need to talk to your friend before he does. you currently do not have a true friendship with her now becasue you ar holding back on your feeling. if one of my friends fell for my man i would want her to tell me..becasue friends work thing out when honesty is in play. if she does not understand at least you tried to talk to her. dont cheat your self out of love. if you beleive this guy is for you and he feels the same go for it all else will fall into place.. i beleivce in fallowing your heart dont live in fear of your feelings