If you adopt a child from birth, when is the time to tell them about it?

Answer 1

I was adopted when I was a week and a half old. I've never NOT known I was adopted. As long as I can remember my parents always talked about how lucky we were to come together as a family even though I was born to someone else. I do not suggest waiting until the child is "old enough to understand". It will be devastating. Don't keep it a secret!

Answer 2

I think it is important to tell them from the beginning. I know that an infant will not understand, but use age appropriate language with the child to explain as they are able to understand. We are adopting and I have picked up a few children's books that I recommend. They are "Tell me again about the night I was born," and "Rosie's Family: An adoption story". I think that reading and discussing how the families in these stories are like ours helps , this is just a place to start. There are also many books for adults that talk about talking to you kids about adoption. I think every child is different, so the age that they will begin to understand and the way in which you explain it to them, will be different for every child. The one thing that I feel is truly important is letting them know that they are adopted so that they are able to develop a true self image, instead of learning that they were adopted as an adult and having to reevaluate there whole childhood, and who they are. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

Tell them as early as possible. Make just a matter of fact for them not a big deal. I was adopted just after birth and can't even remember my parents telling me. It was never a factor for me but I remember how upset all of my cousins that I grew up with were when they found out. I don't know what it was that upset them but I think they felt betrayed and that people had kept this info from them, similar to the way an older child or an adult would feel finding out this news.

Answer 4

I don't remember when I was told but my mom use to tell me she told me about the day I was brought home and would read stories to me on the subject even when I was just an infant. The younger the better. There are a lot of good books out there that talk about being adopted at different ages so start with those and always be open. I never felt like I didn't belong It just explained why I was different.

Answer 5

I caution against going overboard on the "you were so special because you were chosen." That's a load of BS. The fact is the biological mother had to relinquish the rights so in essence reject.....that's how many adopted people feel. Whomever adopted the child needs to tell the child about adoption first then tell the child they were adopted. I recommend finding a mental health professional to help you out since you sound pretty clueless about the issue. I also recommend going to the library to get books geard towards the adopted child.

Answer 6

I am going through something like this as well... only it was a step parent adoption and she is 7 now, and still doesnt know. Had I to do all over, I would tell when they first start to talk... say "you grew in mommy's heart and inside your biological mommy's tummy". I would never make it a big deal and always say it in a positive way. That way, when they are old enough to understand like my daughter is, it wont be stressful on the parents wondering what they will think. Honesty is always the best policy. There are even books you can read your child about this subject. Look for one and read it to your child. You will do just fine. Some babies grow in tummy's... others grow in hearts. Your baby was special enough to be chosen out of all the babies in the world... you chose YOUR baby... be sure to tell her that also. Good luck.

Answer 7

I think you should just always be open and honest, from infancy, using the words adoption, birth mother etc..... If these are words they grow up hearing they will be familiar ordinary words. As the baby gets older they may wonder what a particular word means and will ask but they'll gradually get the information they need to know.

I know several people who have been adopted and this is the way they were told or wish they had been told.

Answer 8

Hello, I am a adopted woman, i was adopted from birth. From my personal experiance I vote you tell the child as young as possible, to the best of they're understanding.. I do not know when i first found out, but i do know it was before i was 2 yrs old. I am blessed to have known my whole life, i did not grow up confussed, well i did but i understood why... I belive because i always knew, i do not hate my bio-momand dad, i respect them, i am also very proud to be adopted. When some people find out to late they become resentful and dash out to find themselves with out even thinking. Sometimes that can be more damaging to the

Answer 9

I wouldnt really say that there is a set time to tell a child when they are adopted. It really depends on the child. There is a time and place for everything, and you will know when the timing is right. Just dont wait until they are like 15+ to tell them, as this will cause resentment.

Answer 10

Tell them as soon as you think they can understand what you're telling them. I was told at a very eary age (probably around 4 or 5 years). My parents made me feel very special by telling me they went and picked me, out of all the babies they looked at. I would ask them to tell me the story about how I was adopted many times when I was little. Make it a special story and they will love being adopted. They will know how much they are loved!