Why do some women insist on dating guys who are "not nice"?

Question

I know a whole lot of women who date "not nice" guys and then become surprised and upset when the guy reveals himself as a "not nice" guy after numerous prior warnings that he's "not nice"?

Answer 1

I think all women go through the "dating bad boys" phase. Most women wise up eventually and realize that if they want to be treated well and respected, they need to stay away from bad boys.

I'm not sure where all this comes from, but to me, it seems like American culture seems to emphasize that bad boys are exciting and sexy and nice guys are nerdy and boring. Definitely not the case.

Answer 2

Look dude, here's the deal, if you don't want to spend any money on a woman, then just don't date! Simple as that. No one is making you pay for anything if you don't want too (it's your money). Or if you feel footing the bill for a fancy meal is to much, try going somewhere simple on a date l like Chilli's or TGI Fridays. Only spend money within your means. If this girl doesn't want to eat at any of these places, then she's really not into getting to know you, she's only concerned with what you can do for her and you should leave her alone. And just a little side note, there are women out there who either pay half the bill or pay the tab for the second date if she likes the guy. If what ever woman you're going out with won't pay for anything, then you really need to question why you're even wasting time with her. Because I know for myself (as well as lot of other women) I pay half on the bill and tip or I pick up the whole tab. Stop messing with broke women, because all they want is your paycheck. Edit: Baba and the Colonel ROCKS! I just had to say that. By the way, how old are these girls that gave you this 'helpful insight' on how women date? Where did you meet them or know them from personally? And how offten do you date where you've had to pay to the whole tab more than twice, and why did you continue to date them after the second date if you chose to do so?

Answer 3

People are creatures of habit and they tend to seek out situations and relationships that are familiar to them. They do this whether or not situations are beneficial to their overall health and/or well-being simply because they are used to them and they make them feel 'comfortable'. The thing is, people do this mostly without consciously realizing it which is why they are surprised when they finally 'realize' the reality of the situation that they have gotten themselves into. If a woman or a man is attracted to someone that treats them a certain way, chances are that person grew up in a situation in which they were treated similarly (whether it be a brother,sister, mom, dad, aunt, uncle... etc. who treated them this way). People somehow have somewhat of a sixth sense when it comes to finding these people and/or relationships or situations but somehow always manage to end up in the same ones time and time again. The unfortunate thing is, the more they do it, the more it becomes ingrained in them and the more likely they are to do it again. Take a look at some people you know closely and try to recognize patterns between their childhood and their current situations and see if you can find similarities. If you contemplate all of this information, you may even find that not all women are attracted to men who treat them bad, but that perhaps you are attracted to women who often fill the 'victim' role in relationships... I seem to be constantly analyzing people and the dynamics between them and this is something I have found to be true through my experiences and observations. Good luck, and I hope this helps you.

Answer 4

"Bad boys" are more fun, or so it is perceived. But truthfully, all women don't do this. The smart ones go after the real thing. That is how I ended up with my wife. She was not foolish enough to waste her time with bad boys, and we have a great relationship, and a lot of fun! So much for the "bad boys are more fun" theory. That said, a lot of guys do the same thing with the "bad girl," so it really isn't fair to generalize women this way.

Answer 5

Men and women are both guilty of not seeing red flags when they don't want to...'bad boys' tend to be confident types and that's very appealing...by the time women realize they are not nice people, they've already gotten emotionally involved on some level.

We don't ever want to accept or acknowledge that someone we dig might not be a kewl person...some are better at blinding themselves to those things than others.

Answer 6

Some women are attracted to Bad Boys, the problem is most Bad Boys are also Douche-bags. There are a few guys that have that Bad Boy image that are good guys underneath they are the true Players and much to your dismay will always do better than you.

Answer 7

Well,since you say they "insist",it must mean they "continue" to date the guy AFTER they realize he's not nice.In that case the woman finds something appealing about it,regardless of how "surprised/upset" she seems.Maybe it's a challenge...she wants to change him,save him.Maybe she's so surprised that a guy could treat HER that way and risk losing her,which means she's conceited and in denial of the possibility.

Answer 8

"Nice" guys tend to be boring and have low self esteem. Think about it, if you describe yourself as nice first, odds are you are a bit of a pushover. I'm not knocking nice. You appreciate it more once you're older. But also once you're older you're more likely to go for the guy who's maybe not so suave or tough or whatever but is loyal and kind.

Answer 9

I guess women figure they can always find a nice guy to date if they wanted to. They also probably figure (incorrectly) that nice guys are boring and are no fun. They also figure "nice" means "not strong" and they can't be seen having a weak boyfriend now can they?

At least that's my 2cents.

Answer 10

Hey i go for the nice,sweet guys
I know why they want the bad ones because the girls think the bad ones are usually the hot ones!!!!!