Like I said my school is 4 hours away and he doesn't have a car and I won't have one at school. I won't be home often and my parents want me too dump. They say I need to focus on my education and concentrate on making friends in my new environment. They think my BF is a loser and will hold me back from meeting my goals because all we do is talk about getting married and having kids. I'm in a 5 year engineering program and the school is one of the top schools in the country and my parents think I'll spend to much time texting, iming or on the phone rather then studying. I'm with him 24/7 and can't imagine my life with out him. I'm 18 and just graduated from High School. Please only serious responses.
Also my bf hurts himself when I'm not with him cause he misses me so much. I feel so bad when I see the scars , I just can't imagine how my leaving is going to affect him.
2007-07-19 07:54:56 · 13 answers · asked by Bella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well honey, I am sorry to hear your boyfriend hurts himself when you are away, but that is something he needs help with. If this is one of the only things really holding you back from letting go of him, you need to do so. College is a totally different experience. You grow so much.
Does his parents know about his issues of hurting himself? If not, I would talk to his parents about this whole situation and let them know what you are planning to do so they can help him or watch for him. If his parents aren't in the picture help him seek counsel. Also, 3 months isn't long to be with someone. It does feel great though to be connected with someone, but he makes you feel guilty for leaving him when you do by hurting himself. That isn't a healthy relationship...if you really love someone you have to let them go, and if they really love you they will come back to you. If you really love him, let him go and if you still feel it down the road you can go back to him.
However, you can always try it out and if you notice it is too hard to balance school and your boyfriend then I think you know what you need to do. If it is all ment to be it will all come together in the end. It is hard to have a relationship over the phone or with the computer. Many of your weekends will be spent going back home and this takes time out of your social scene in college and studying. Engineering isn't a light task. Good luck to you!
2007-07-19 08:06:14 · answer #1 · answered by Muriah Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was obviously only thinking about what he wanted and not what he was doing to you. You will never be able to fully trust him again. Do you really want to spend your life with a man who will always make you wonder? I would leave him and find someone who doesn't cheat. How many times will he cheat and repent before you realize that he will never change? I know it was only one time - supposedly. Perhaps it is just the one time you caught him. Look at the rest of your relationship. Have there been other little lies or cover ups that seemed insignificant at the time? If you truly want to stay with him then get counseling, because in the long run you will definitely need it.
2016-05-17 12:00:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should stay together for at least a little while, and then determine weather the relationship is hurting the both of you. If it is then you should seperate, but if it isn't that bad then you could stay together. I would try a webcam for your bf so that he can see you that way he won't hurt himself. But like i said try it out first and if it doesn't work then seperate. Hope this helps!
2007-07-19 08:01:30 · answer #3 · answered by Tori <3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let him guilt you, my senior year bf did the hurt himself thing to and I stuck with him and even though he could make the trip on the weekends, I would have gotten much more work done and made a lot more friends without having to rush back to my dorm after my last class to catch his call or his wrath would ensue for 30 some messages on my answering machine if I was late and I also missed a lot of opportunities to hang out with some very nice guys if you know what I mean! ;-)
Do it for you!
2007-07-19 08:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by ORetha V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend will keep on doing things to keep you feeling guilty. Let him go and tell him to get some counseling. You are obviously bright enough to get into a good school and you will have more than enough time to meet others and find the right person for you. Don't let his behavior be a road block to your personal growth.
2007-07-19 08:00:55 · answer #5 · answered by bikercpl91 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
That's too far away to keep up a relationship. There are hundreds of great guys at college, so you'll have no problem finding another, better boyfriend.
2007-07-19 07:59:20 · answer #6 · answered by mikeburns55 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was with my boyfriend for two years and it was s imilar relationship to yours.. i could live without him, he couldnt live without me. we broke up the week before i left for college, which is 6.5 hours away.. basically i suggest you do break up with him.. my freshman year was a lot easier than my senior year because i didnt have to listen to him always being upset.. it'll go a lot easier at school, especially engineering school, if you're not stressed about toehr things
2007-07-19 08:20:34 · answer #7 · answered by =] 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has serious issues if he's hurting himself when you're not around. he needs to get help. you can't put your life on hold, and you're going to want to be single when you're in college. i say break up with him now and just be friends with him. it's only fair to leave yourself open to the new things you're going to experience.
2007-07-19 07:58:47 · answer #8 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont leae him just spend so time apart like you she eachother probably twice a week
2007-07-19 07:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love something, let it go. if it comes back, it was yours all along.
2007-07-19 07:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by chicananerd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋