Muslims, would anybody support me in saying polygamy is not about sex and orgies ?

Question

Polygamy is a way of insuring the wellbeing of a society in which women are more numerous than men (70-30 at the time of our Prophet (pbuh), 60-40 today) while women have to educate their children they need someone to care for them, and if all women want children (come on, tell me who NEVER EVER wanted a child) they need a man...
Modern societies have another form of polygamy, even two : adultery and one-night-stands? does that make women happy ??

Answer 1

Oscar wilde said, " "Bigamy is having one spouse too many. Marriage is the same."

Theres a few issues here, in the current period polygamy is seen as something strange, yet it is okay for a man to have a mistress or girlfriend outside his marriage.

Islam is a religion not just for this time but all time therefore polyogmay maybe needed in some times not others. Due to the circumstances of that time, After the 2nd world war the german said that polygomay was permissible because of a shortage of men. In england there was such a thing called trigamy which was when a man married three times, this occured here from the 7th to 19th centuries.

Philip Kilbride, an American anthropologist of Roman Catholic heritage, in his provocative book, Plural Marriage for our Time, proposes polygamy as a solution to some of the ills of the American society at large. He argues that plural marriage may serve as a potential alternative for divorce in many cases in order to obviate the damaging impact of divorce on many children. He maintains that many divorces are caused by the rampant extramarital affairs in the American society. According to Kilbride, ending an extramarital affair in a polygamous marriage, rather than in a divorce, is better for the children, "Children would be better served if family augmentation rather than only separation and dissolution were seen as options."

According to the Ethnographic Atlas Codebook, of the 1231 societies noted, 186 were monogamous. 453 had occasional polygyny, 588 had more frequent polygyny, and 4 had polyandry.

In judaism, it was outlawed in the 11th century, Christianity
Saint Augustine saw a conflict with Old Testament polygamy, and wrote about it in The Good of Marriage (chapter 15, paragraph 17), where he stated that though it "was lawful among the ancient fathers: whether it be lawful now also, I would not hastily pronounce. For there is not now necessity of begetting children, as there then was, when, even when wives bear children, it was allowed, in order to a more numerous posterity, to marry other wives in addition, which now is certainly not lawful." He declined to judge the patriarchs, but did not deduce from their practice the ongoing acceptability of polygamy. In another place, he wrote, "Now indeed in our time, and in keeping with Roman custom, it is no longer allowed to take another wife, so as to have more than one wife living [emphasis added]."

The history of Mormon polygamy begins with claims that Mormonism founder Joseph Smith received a revelation from God on July 17, 1831 that some Mormon men would be commanded to practice "plural marriage". The July 12, 1843 recording of a Smith revelation on plural marriage is now canonized as scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants by the LDS Church[24].

In Islam, polygyny is allowed, with the specific limitation that men can only have up to four wives at any one time. However, the Qur'an specifically states that men who choose this route must deal with their wives as fairly as possible, doing everything that they can to spend equal amounts of time, money on each one of them. Although many Muslim countries still retain traditional Islamic law which permits polygyny, certain elements within Islam challenge its acceptability. For example, polygyny in Bosnia-Herzegovina, Syria, and Lebanon is prohibited by law. In other countries they have to prove their ability to look after the woman, in terms of housing and expenditure.

Thanks for asking the question because if you didn't then I wouldn't have looked into all this! The reason why women cannot have several men at the same time is because it causes friction that will cause murder and we cannot be sure you the child belongs to, even DNA testing is not as reliable as first thought.

Answer 2

I am not sure where you are located, but there are some faulty arguments here if you are in the United States or pretty much any other English-speaking, industrialized country. For one thing, in most places the ratio between women and men is not 60-40, it is much closer to 51-49, which is hardly a large enough size to justify polygamy. And modern societies may have adultery and one-night-stands, but guess what? All societies do! Polygamists can commit adultery just as easily, and history shows that they do. And the truth is that MANY women don't want children, and many women get by fine without a man. I won't argue with you that polygamy is not all about sex and orgies, because there is probably some truth to that with most families, but just about everything else you say here is illogical and presumptuous.

Answer 3

The excess of women are all over breeding age. It's the women who live 5-10 years longer than men. At birth there is only about a 5% surplus.

And extramarital sex isn't an invention of modern society. It's as old as Adam.

Answer 4

I never said it was about sex and orgies.

The ratio now is not 60-40, in fact in many areas the young women are being killed as babies and there is a shortage of women.

If it is all about ratio's if there is more women say 60-40 could a woman have two husbands in order to keep the men happy and not committing one night stands?

Peace be with you!

Answer 5

I'm not a Muslim, but I understand the purpose of the practice. I'm well aware of the difference between marrying 4 women in order to have a large enduring family and just trying to be a freak. Of course, since Jesus re-institutued monogamy, I don't agree with it.

Answer 6

I think she was asked her opinion and she gave it. That’s what asking these types of questions are all about, there really should not be a right or wrong answer. What I think is sad is that people are jumping all over the poor girl and calling her names because she gave an honest answer. Political party affiliation shouldn’t matter everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Isn’t that what makes Americans who we are? Ignorance makes people judge a person based solely on their opinion of one issue, because we are supposed to be home of the “free”!

Answer 7

I am Muslim and I am against polygamy, especially the way the Muslim men around the world abusing this concept.
Polygamy in Quran is restricted and conditioned with "treating wives in the same way" which is impossible as Quran itself states... Hope we all get the point...

Peace!

Answer 8

ya know wat, i read in a zakir naik article abt polygamy that a few women of the west had been interviewed and they said they'd prefer being a second wife rather than being a mistress. polygamy during the prophet had a reason nowdays some muslims use it for lust & thts not wat its main purpose is. The quran also says it, that if u feel u cant treat all ur wives justly n equally then its better to marry one.

Answer 9

I am a Muslim. Polygamy is not about orgies at all. In Islam there is less adultery then any other religion.

Answer 10

I am not a muslim, nor a polygamist.
Why do you think it is okay for one religion to come to a forbidden solution to a human problem?
Fornication and adultery and polygamy are sins.
No one should engage in such rebelliousness against God.