Need Advice!!!?

Question

My boyfriend (an ex now) is having a baby (not sure if it's his or not) by another woman. While we were on a break from each other we promised we wouldn't have sex with anyone else. I didn't he did. Then when I asked him about it he lied. Then a month later the girl was calling him telling him she was pregnant. He is so angry with her and is always cussing at her at hanging up on her but still tries to come back to me. We have broken up 3 times over this because every time he says she isn't calling and told him it wasn't his. And I kept taking him back. I feel so low because now I let him go. I have so many things on my mind that I want to tell him but I refuse to call him. I feel so dumb for taking him back so many times. Although I'm glad we're not together now how do I get over this?? Help please and please be nice (lol)

Answer 1

If you were on a break I guess I don't see how that matters? Im not trying to be mean im trying to answer this the best I know how. Whats the point of being a break if you can't see other people and do other things. If this other girl is really pregnant that kid is not going anywhere. Either you have to ask yourself Can I handle that and would it be worth trying the relationship again. (he will be talking to her/they have a kid together. If you can't handle that don't ever get back with him again. It sounds like your not together now so thats a plus. Work on what you want. If you want him that is your decision not anyone elses to make. Good luck hope that helps.

Answer 2

Okay, I know you said please be nice, but I'm afraid your going to have to read this and excuse me if I seem a little too harsh. He is definitely not a guy to be with. Obviously, if there was a chance that the child was his, that means he had sex with another woman. You can interpret that to mean that he doesn't love you, no matter how much you think he does. He seems like the user type, and I congratulate you on breaking up with him. You were not in a healthy relationship at all. If you had to take him back so many times, it means you two split up so many times. If you had to break up with him more than twice, then he is just putting you through an emotional roller coaster that is breaking your heart every time you ride it. Remember all of the bad things he did to you. Tell yourself that you are much better off being without him and being off that roller coaster. Spend this downtime hanging with your girlfriends. Enjoy being single again. When you are ready, go on a few dates with some nice guys. Good luck. ♥♥♥

Answer 3

the way I see it, he broke a promise to you and lied about it. You have broken up 3 times over the same issue, he made you feel dumb after putting your trust in him and giving him the benefit of the doubt. You are already on your way to getting over it, you say you are glad you are not with him, that's a great start. You might feel hurt and upset now but, through my own experiences i know, you'll be angry soon. Once you're angry then there is no stopping getting over this! Every time you feel a little down, just think to yourself, he abused your trust, he lied and best of all? HIS LOSS! Now he wants you back....... don't they all want what they can't have! I'm really sorry you have been hurt like that but, ya know what? What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
Good luck and keep your chin up xx xx

Answer 4

The child may or may not be his, but he definitely must have slept with the other woman, otherwise she wouldn't have even attempted to claim he was the father. So he did break his promise to you, and that alone is a good enough reason to dump him permanently.

It is understandable that you cared about him, missed him, and wanted him back.... but what we want and what's best for us aren't always the same thing. Eventually you did what you knew was right and healthy for you, and dumped him.

Just keep reminding yourself that you did the right thing. Yoru actions speak louder than your words, so even if you yelled at him, by taking him back each time, your actions told him that it was okay to cheat. Your final act of dumping him sent the message that you wouldn't tolerate such disrespectful behavior anymore.

If you feel the urge to tell him something, write it down (by hand) in a letter instead. Keep adding to the letter over a few weeks. The key point is to NEVER send the letter - it is for YOUR healing and understanding only.

Answer 5

Love isn't something we can merely turn on or off, and when that relationship includes all of the passions of life and love shared together, only time can lessen the anguish. As I once said to a love I was leaving, "I shall not always remember our love but I will never forget it".

Focus upon your work, family, friends......look for other outlets to take up your time for awhile so as not to be sitting around and reminiscing over it too often. Only you can truly make the decision as to what may happen in the future, though friends and family will offer advice, your heart and soul are separating from something you held dearly.

Personally, you're probably very fortunate to have that relationship finished from what you wrote about his anger over the other woman being pregnant (It's his responsibility as much as hers to prevent, and if not, then to support it)

I often found myself writing in a journal or penning a poem to help myself work out the feelings and help heal the wounds. Good luck and Godspeed.

Answer 6

Good for you girl! Getting rid of that loser. I'm glad you made a wise move to move on. Now dont contact him, or even listen to him because he will only hurt you more.

There is no way, currently, to forget a bad relationship. The best advice I can offer is to enjoy life as best you can. Learn a new hobby. Make new friends. Visit family. Adopt a pet. Avoid relationships for a while, then look for a man that will respect you.

I wish you luck on your new future.

Answer 7

you re hurt right now this is the stage u r in
my biggest advice is too keep ur self occupied
hang out with the girls and have a good time
dont date yet
date when u r ready
hang out,pick up a new hobby, try new things
just keep occupied
i know at first it will not seem like u want to this
but eventually u will get in the groove of things
and from there u go out and date
and maybe u will meet ur prince in shining armor

good luck girl u deserve better

Answer 8

one might just keep busy. the saying out of sight -out of mind. Plus he needs to take cake of this really serious issue. A baby is on the way. This baby*** if he is the father needs a father figure in his or her life. It is not the baby's fault because of the situation that has happened. Plus you need to take a break on such a serious issue. let these two people figure out where and how the issue of the baby will be dealt with for the two of them. a baby is very expensive . Also do you want this women to be in your life if this is his baby . You will have him and this women and of course the baby***imagine the cost of child support a couple of hundred dollars a month to take care of a baby. until he or she is 18

Answer 9

U need to just try to move on. If you dont you are just going to be involved in this threesome of drama.....Let them deal with their problems and just keep away from him. I was with a guy for awhile and had broke up about 1months when I found out that a girl was 2 months pregnant with his kid...That meant he was playing me for awhile i thought that i was not going to get over it cause I really cared for him i have been with this guy for 3 years and have been married for 5 months and am 4 weeks pregnant with his baby.... SO if i can do it you can do it.....It wont be easy...It takes time but just let him go and go about your life without him...hope i helped...good luck...

Answer 10

Forget about the guy,he is a jerk and doesn't deserve you,everyone makes stupid decisions so go just have some fun and eventually you will forget about him even if it hurts!