Help, a friend of mine is at her wits end. Her daughter is 16 months old and just gets mad when her mother gets near her. She only wants to be near her daddy. When the child wakes up in the morning and her mom goes in to say goodmorning, the baby gets mad and cries or fusses. She also throws temper tantrums when mommy tries to do things for her.
Both parents work full time and the child's aunt is the babysitter. My friend is so sad and is trying to cope. She thinks the child doesn't like her. Please help :)
Thank you
2007-07-19 06:01:38 · 9 answers · asked by Who Loves Ya Babe 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
This happens... I have two suggestions:
1) Your friend should take turns with the Dad at doing things for her. No matter how she screams, don't let her choose which parent takes care of her. She must accept her as a parent.
2) Your friend should also spend some special time with her daughter, just the two of them, preferably doing something fun. Like going to the zoo, the playground, the mall, a play area, swimming lessons, the state fair, anything. This will help build good memories and associations with the Mom. Kids are at their best when they're interested and busy, and it will help the girl open up to good feelings to her mother. She may resist at first, but soon she'll be too busy having fun to play the preference game.
I wish your friend the best of luck. Kids are challenging.
2007-07-19 07:20:56 · answer #1 · answered by KC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was about the same age when I did the same thing to my mom. I think it's a very common thing. It's kind of the opposite with my daughter. She has always been a mommy's girl and still to this day (she is 2 1/2yrs old) wants me to do everything. About the only thing that works is for me to tell her that I am busy right now and that she's just going to have to have daddy help her with whatever she wants. I then usually walk out of the room. She usually doesn't like it and will start crying and throwing a fit. My husband then does what she wanted and after it's done, she's happy even though daddy did it for her. So, I would say for the dad to just walk out of the room at the time. She may not totally understand yet at 16mo., but he just needs to explain. Explaining things to our daughter has worked pretty good. Good luck!
2007-07-19 06:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's a toddler first of all, so this kind of behavior is expected to some degree and may never be explained in a way most adults can understand. It makes sense to an immature mind though. She might be angry at being left with the aunt all day and misses her mommy, so she takes it out on mommy. She may just prefer Daddy this week (toddlers do that kind of thing!)
The mom needs to just love her and spend time with her and set good routines, anyway, and not expect any specific expression of love.
2007-07-19 06:11:21 · answer #3 · answered by ladybmw1218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just a phase. Toddlers will want mommy for a while and then may want to be a daddys girl! Just make sure when she is with her daughter that she gives her undivided attention. My daugther is also 16 mths old and I work full time and my mother watches her. Sometimes she doesn't want anything to do with me (especially when she returns from her father's) Really the best thing is she needs to just have mommy and baby time. Even if that means just taking her for a walk by herself...giving her a tubby by herself. Just those types of bonding that will encourage her to be with her mother.
2007-07-19 06:08:57 · answer #4 · answered by Linz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She almost at terrible two so it might get a bit worse. But it is just a phase. Mommy needs to be a little bit more stern when it comes to discipline and Daddy doesn't need to be the savior.
2007-07-19 06:53:20 · answer #5 · answered by Mekia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Would you believe babies are easier to bond with in a
baby stroller at a slow walking speed?
Outdoors, where there are plenty of sights and sounds,
not to mention.... plenty of good, wholesome monologue
from "mommy", is where "crawling on all fours" infants
prefer to sleep in broad daylight.
Additionally, holding a conversation with a sixteen month
young baby, isn't the best way to bond. Infants are very
attentive and don't like silence."
2007-07-19 06:37:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your friend that this is just a phase!! Because it is! you can't takle the actions of a 16 month old personally. She is just expressing her preference. This preference will change. She just needs ot be patient and loving with the baby and not let it affect their relationship.
2007-07-19 06:07:03 · answer #7 · answered by Dalice Nelson 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I thought the same thing about my son...he is always wanting to be around him...play with him, sleep with him....it is always DADDY! But believe me it will change...it has for my son...he comes around me a little, but when he doesn't get his way...he goes to Daddy.
My mom-in-law watches our son, and I thought he liked her because he calls her Mamma! I had to say that I changed that fast...it is now Grammy....and I am MOMMY!!!
2007-07-19 06:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by poopsiemom031904 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son (who is now 5 1/2) used to really dislike me and LOVE his grandma. I was incharge of the day to day feeding, diapering, etc and grandma did nothing but come over and play. Now that he is older and can talk I understand it more. "Grandma is fun to play with, but I am mom" as he says.
2007-07-19 06:13:33 · answer #9 · answered by Brooke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋