For the past little while now he has been going out after work. He is done at 9pm, so yes the kids are in bed by that time. He hasn't been calling or anything to let me know that he is going out. I work all day as well, and I would like to have some time to go out, he feels this is ok and has told me many times before "that he is going to do what he wants and i better get used to it". Well I am sick of it, I have tried everything to get him to understand how I feel. He says he needs to wine down after work so he goes out. Monday to Thursday he us usually home by 11, but on Friday's he doesn't get home until at least 2am. And then has the nerve to be mad at me because i am angry with him. I never know where he is or who he is with, he says I should be happy he even comes home at all. We do nothing together as a couple, maybe it is time to just call it quites before I make the mistake and marry him? Any and all advice would be great, thank you.
2007-07-19 05:52:18 · 32 answers · asked by Erin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him to start acting like a husband and less like he's in college.
2007-07-19 05:55:20 · answer #1 · answered by molly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well my dear, thank God u found this out b4 marrying him! He seems very selfish, and u do NOT want a husband like that. U need someone who will listen to how u feel, and at least be willing to compromise, so that sometimes u can go out with ur friends and enjoy urself 2! More over u need someone who will make time 4 u and the family, and take u out so that both of u can enjoy some 'alone time'. He seems quite secretive in his where-abouts too, and i'm sure that leaves u wondering. U need an honest and caring man in ur life. Don't let him belittle u by saying mean things like "U should be happy he even comes home at all". Oh hell no!! Im sure u deserve better than that! If u really want the relationship to work, suggest to him that u want the 2 of u to seek councilling; and above all... please be sure about ur decision to marry b4 u spend the rest of ur life with him! All the very best!
2007-07-19 06:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by Vibes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mans trying to tell you something, he's cheating or he's not in love with you, because if he were he would love to be at home with you, are take you out with him sometimes, you work as well as him, and take care of the kids, now tell me who needs to wine down a little, you need to get someone to stay with the kids, and go out some yourself, and don't come home until after his @ss is already there, let him see how it feels to be alone at home all the time, i think you has better get out of this, before all of your good years are gone.... maybe he's looking for another woman to replace you before giving you the boot, think about it.....
2007-07-19 06:12:26 · answer #3 · answered by Kas-O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you need to call it quites and move on with your life. When you get married it's not going to be any better. Are these your children with him or another man or his with another woman? That is a need to know.
If he is doing this now ans says he will do what he wants he is telling you he does not want this family. He wants to be free and single without the responsibility of caring for you all. Don't walk run and run fast. He is telling you everyday that he does not want this. He comes home when the kids are already asleep or when you are in bed too. He thinks you should be thankful he comes home at all? Give me a break.
2007-07-19 06:13:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is trying his hardest to get you to break off the engagement. He is being rude and disrespectful to you for no reason. If you have a problem with this now then how is it going to change when you get married? I mean he should not be going out that often. There has to be more to it then he is telling you. If I was you I wouldn't marry him. I would teach him a lesson by playing his game with him. Leave the children with him and go enjoy yourself. But that game can go on forever...sit down have a heart to heart talk and if he doesn't get it then I would move on...or at least call off the engagement. Be strong remember he has no problem tell you how things are going to be so have no problem telling him how things are going to be if he doesn't change.
2007-07-19 05:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by PoshBCD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Erin- you deserve some respect, honesty and someone to treat you with some dignity..this guy sounds like hes cheating all the way. Hes out monday-thursday. He should want to come home to the one he loves and that should be you...he should respect your feelings which hes not...you are just as important and deserve some time yourself...if he can compromise with you and doesnt do anything with you dont marry him....you deserve the total opposite of this guy...you should have a relationship that has intimacy, passion, trust, honor respect, communication, and compassion.....your not getting it from him..gl
2007-07-19 06:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by GA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do a few things.
1. If he isn't calling when he is going out after work, take the kids and go somewhere one night so when he gets home you aren't there. Maybe he'll get the hint.
2. Sounds like he isn't ready to be the dad. He wants to be single, so let him.
3. You can continue to let him treat you like crap.
I personally would kick him to the curb. He isn't in a relationship, he is treating you like a rug.. and you are letting him walk all over you.
2007-07-19 05:58:41 · answer #7 · answered by Mandy M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact is that you married too young emotionally and that is telling now. The best thing you can do is to get some counseling together to see if you can have a good marriage or if you have to settle for being friends sharing children. It is hard to lose a first love but as someone once said, a first marriage ending in divorce is a success if it leads to a second marriage which does not. Good Luck to you!!
2016-05-17 10:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by harriet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ditch him before you make the mistake of marrying him. Who knows what he could be doing when he's not keeping in touch with you?? If he was single, it would be different, but he's in a committed relationship with you, and there are certain boundaries to go by. If he can't respect them, then you would do yourself a whole lot of good if you just told him it was over. You deserve better, and so do your children. Good luck to you!
2007-07-19 06:02:38 · answer #9 · answered by poetry_dreamer2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an adult and you cannot control his behavior, but understand that if he's like this now, it'll only get worse after you've said "I do".
Seriously reconsider if this someone you want to legally attach your life to...he doesn't sound like someone who's ready to be in a committed relationship at all right now, much less married.
You shouldn't need to feel happy he comes home at all, you need to think about moving on...
2007-07-19 05:57:10 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call it quits, but don't marry him either. He needs to change. Maybe try to get a baby-sitter so that you can go out with him. He sounds like it's hard for him to come home, and easier for him to go out.
If you ask him to come home and help with the kids, he's gonna call it nagging.
2007-07-19 05:58:54 · answer #11 · answered by Solar Ball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋