Ok, so I recently met this guy and he's nice (he's 27 and I'll be 24 in 2 weeks). I was at his apartment yesterday and we were fooln' around...like makn' out, cuddln' and he was allllll over my boobs! Haha!
But I told him that I was still a virgin, which I am and that I'm waiting until marriage. And yet, he still kept on going. Basically, we were both topless and laying on his couch and well......ok I dont want to get this deleted, so let's just say, I made him *** in his pants, ok?! Haha! It was fun, but there's noooo way I'm gonna really have sex with him or any other guy who's not my husband!
He still seems to like me, but I feel bad staying with him, because he obviously wants more! What should I do? Do you think after all that, its possible for us to just be friends? Or will that piss him off? Im pretty sure he understands that I wanna stay a virgin, because we're both Persian, so he knows where I'm comin' from... Suggestions? Thoughts? Advice?
2007-07-19 05:41:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Being just friends with him afterward is a bad idea, Either you're gonna date this guy, or never see him again. And make sure to set boundaries for yourself, Tell him plain out no and to stop if you don't want him going any farther, and don't be all girly about it either.
2007-07-19 05:46:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not waiting for marriage, I'm waiting for a longterm, loving, committed relationship and will have sex when I'm 18+ And I think assuming a woman who's waiting for marriage will only 'probably' have no desire to do it more than once a month is insulting and outdated thinking. This isn't the Victorian era where being a sexual person, even while married, is frowned upon. I actually know a newly married couple where she waited until their wedding night and they have sex all the time.
2016-05-17 10:44:48 · answer #2 · answered by laticia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dump every guy that wants more, you'll never get married. EVERY guy wants more. Of course they do! But that doesn't mean they should get it. My current wife wanted to wait until we were married, and she told me and was up front about it from the beginning. I agreed with it, and it was difficult, but it was fine. We did everything we possible could short of actual sex, just like you did. When we got married, we went all the way, and it was great. We have been happily married for seven years.
If you want to "just be friends" with this guy now, he's going to leave and seek greener pastures. So long as you are up front about your needs and desires, though, there is no reason you can't be more than friends. There is nothing wrong with what you did last night, so long as he knows what you want and respects your boundaries. Doesn't mean this guy is "the one," but remember that with future guys. They ALL want to have sex. It is natural. But so long as you are honest with them, they'll live, and it will help you know when you have found the guy worthy of your love. My wife and I waited. I didn't die. So don't worry about it!
That said, I completely and utterly disagree with the people above who say that getting intimate has to lead to sex. You have feelings. Your man has feelings. You were not teasing. He came on to YOU! My wife and I more or less did what you did, and it never became what we didn't want it to be. She was still a virgin when we married, and for that matter, by definition so was I! Some people are not very realistic about love and lust. They either assume you HAVE to have sex or they assume you absolutely cannot have any sexual feelings at all. That's simply not true. I'm proof.
2007-07-19 05:50:42 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great that you want to remain a virgin until marriage. It can be done as I did it. I know how hard it is and the pressure that you feel.
If you want to stay a virgin until marriage then I would suggest finding a guy that shares your value and you can support each other in agreement that you will stay pure.
You are playing with fire and teasing this guy by letting him go just so far and saying no which is unkind. He may also see you as a challenge and not value your virginity. I would be very careful as you may find yourself doing something that you may later regret.
There are plenty of guys that want to wait and would as I found one. Hang in there and be strong it is worth it in the end to wait!
If you have already gone further then you wanted to, just make a commitment to yourself and God and ask for Him to help you stay strong because you are choosing be pure!
2007-07-19 06:04:20 · answer #4 · answered by Jasper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, there is no such thing as a Persian. You are either Iranian or Iraqi but just don't want to admit it! Second of all, sex is not limited to coitus and virginity is a loss of innocence and chastity both of which you have lost! Don't fool yourself by thinking you are still a virgin because, you're not! Your vagina may remain somewhat intact until you have a husband but your virginity is long gone! Once you get married do you plan to tell your husband that you have fooled around? Get real and quit hiding behind the make of hypocrisy!
As to your boyfriend, don't tease the guy to death. If you have no intention of having intercourse with him just drop it! He will never be only your 'friend' since he was instrumental in you losing your innocence and chastity. Pffft!!!!
2007-07-19 06:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by SexRexRx 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd just make sure that he has the clear understanding that you don't want to have sex until marriage. Even though you said it last night, I'd have a conversation with him about it just to make sure he knows how you feel about it. If you are still interested in pursuing a relationship with him, let him know. As long he is clear that fooling around is as far as it goes and he respects that decision and will not try to persuade you to change your mind, I'd stay with him.
2007-07-19 05:49:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Congrats at making him wet himself.
Yes it is possible for you two to still be friends. Just make sure to assert yourself if he should ever 'push the limit' as it were. As long as you keep your pants an, all shall be well.
Also, if he gets pissed about you not going all the way, leave him. Stick to your beliefs.
2007-07-19 05:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by beltoraze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every little step toward intimacy (such as letting him touch you in a sexual manner, and - even more - touching him so much that he "*** in his pants" makes it easier to go even further the next time. (e.g., "Honey, I promise I won't put it in; I swear."
If you want to claim to be a virgin, you need to act like a virgin, not like an unpaid prostitute.
2007-07-19 05:49:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm a virgin also...and i don't TEASE my bf like that. so, whats the point of your question? if you want to stay a virgin then don't lead people on or have sex.
2007-07-19 05:46:05 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Lady 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
wow...your such a tease. your going to wait till your practically naked to tell him your a virgin? what kinda mess is that? if you don't have to have sex...why put yourself into that position?
2007-07-19 06:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋