We've known each other longer than we've been a couple and a few times now he has promised that he will never hurt me. I'm being realistic with the fact that it is still a fairly new relationship and even though we love each other he's not promising that he will never break my heart (end the relationship) but rather that he would never intentionally do or say anything to cause me any pain while we are together.
Am I right in thinking that way? Of course I don't want to lose him and I do see the potential for a future with him but I don't want to assume he's already thinking of spending the rest of his life with me after only a few weeks into our relationship, (we've known each other for 7 months). Or could he?
2007-07-19 05:26:59 · 39 answers · asked by Ersabette 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was hesitant getting into a relationship with him only because yes, I had been hurt before just like so many other people and he knew that. He has not done anything to hurt me and he had been hurt in his last relationship.
2007-07-19 05:40:55 · update #1
For the first time I sincerely wish I could choose more than one best answer. Many of you have said some very useful things that have really helped me so even if you did not receive 10pts please know that I am grateful for your thoughts. So far he has not given me any reason to not trust him. He has proved himself, has always done what he says he's going to even when we were still in the friend stage but I will "proceed with caution." I do try and live one day at a time and will continue to do so. Thank you all so very much! I truly appreciate it.
2007-07-21 02:01:06 · update #2
It's good you're being realistic.
I was friends with someone for over a year before we started going out. He promised he would never hurt me... our friends heard it too.
We were together for over a year... and then he neglected me and cheated on me.
After 2 1/2 years of knowing him, I NEVER thought he would do something like that to me. And after all the time he spent trying to GET me. Everyone was surprised and mad at what he did.
I now have become SUCH a cautious person... I'm careful now, maybe a little too careful. I have learned a lot. And I just wanted to tell you that you have a good head on your shoulders. ANYTHING can happen... anything. I am speaking completely from experience.
The higher you float, the harder you fall.
2007-07-19 05:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you guys have only been dating for a few weeks but have known each other for 7 months then he has had 7 months to get to know you and he might honestly be thinking about marriage at this point. I believe when you find the right person it doesn't take any certain lenght of time to know you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Just talk to him and see what he says about the matter.
2007-07-19 05:31:09 · answer #2 · answered by suzyalexisandgabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, my name is cosmos:
I hope I can answer your question honestly and respectfully as possible.
I could be wrong but it sounds like you recently ended a bad relationship. If this is the case always remember that we can't compare one relationship or person to next. We as humans must try take the joys and hurts of life and try to use them to strengthen us and learn from them.
to my conclusion if this person hasn't done anything since your relationship with him, to make you feel he would do these things; maybe you should try to ease your mind and soul.
You should take things slow, one step at a time, stop and smell the roses and try to enjoy the joy you have now and worry about tomorrow when it comes. Don't expect much out of a 7 month relationship. Relationships takes time and years to fully and respectfully develop.
I hope I've answered your question honestly and respectfully as possible and I hope that I was of some help to you.
2007-07-19 05:55:41 · answer #3 · answered by cozmos 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every boy is different (I call all males boys).
You're being very realistic and like you said, this is a fairly new relationship give it some more time and you'll see where and how it's going, the change from friends to more is a HUGE transition.
Be careful though. My last boy who I had been friends with and known for years that I started dating promised never to hurt me too, and he never did to my face. Too afraid to admit his promiscuous tendencies because he was trying to "protect" me. Damn boys.
2007-07-19 05:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel The Hippie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to not think so much about what is down the road in your relationship with your loved one. Live one day at a time and live it to the fullest. No one really knows what the future will bring. There are no guarantees in life. All I know is, each day is important and love the one your with.Respect each others wishes and be happy. Concentrate on now and what is happening. Cocoa
2007-07-19 05:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something must of happen to you in your past relationships to be worried like this with him. I just say relax because only time will tell. Just enjoy him now while he's in your life and live life to the fullest. Do things for him or buy him things and maybe he'll want to stick around. Say things like I love you, how are you, Good 2 see you, you look great or fabulous things like that. I hear that guys like to be pampered but is just too man enough to say it. So try it you might get hooked with the thought of it. Trust me I know I've been married for 17 yrs.
2007-07-19 05:35:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being very realistic. How can he promise not to hurt you? That's a line heard far too often.... you don't intentionally hurt someone(for most of us anyway)- it just happens sometimes. It would be better just to see how the relationship develops over time. Enjoy what you have and look for happiness in your life.
2007-07-19 05:34:42 · answer #7 · answered by silke 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be promising more but the way that you are looking at the relationship is the better way for you. It is extremely difficult to make a promise that you will always be together and there will never be any hurt feelings even for a mature relationship. Expecting it with a new relationship is completely unrealistic.
2007-07-19 05:33:34 · answer #8 · answered by Truth is elusive 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to say this but promises are just promises. You have to understand that in a relationship eventhough you try to do your best are not going to be perfect. In every relationship there are ups and downs and most of the downs are because of disagreements. And even the little things hurt.
2007-07-19 05:33:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that when he is saying that he would not hurt you intentionally does he mean that he is contemplating being with you forever. The relationship is still new, and both of you are still a little unsure of things, and he is saying that to make you feel more secure. In my opinion, that kind of a statement does quite the opposite! --Since it gets you thinking about random hypotheticals. Don't think too much about it; if things are going well, be happy. If he has hurt you numerous times before, drop him. There are plenty of fish in the sea willing to treat you well.
2007-07-19 05:31:18 · answer #10 · answered by frogdog06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋