I don't want to do the stupid thing where you replace one jerk with another. I know that i need to be alone for a while just to sort through my own feelings and all that has happened. But i do still love this person even though i know the possibility of having a good healthy relationship with him is impossible.
Any tips for dealing with a painful break-up, light at the end of the tunnel, words of wisdom, anything helpful?
2007-07-19 05:18:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Many of my friends that get into abusive relationships never take time to figure out why. They keep going from one abusive relationship to the next, and don't question what about these abusers they find attractive. While you are in-between relationships, take time to ask what was it about this guy that you found attractive, and what about him should be avoided in future relationships. That will help in making the next relationship a success.
2007-07-19 06:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by Steve C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sort of in the same type of "boat" as you are. Sometimes it gets lonely I'm not going to lie. The thing is take it one day at a time. I don't know why he was a jerk or in what sense but, everyday think about being with a jerk that makes you feel like crap about yourself and tell yourself that you are better off alone then feeling that way. Try to occupy yourself with other things like friends or working out or a new hobby. It sounds silly but, it helps. I'm trying one day at a time to be independent and alone for a little while. You can DO it.
2007-07-19 05:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by DaWnY LaNe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you realize that having a healthy relationship is not possible with him. I went through the same thing as you. I was in a very unhealthy relationship for 7 years. Things got worse instead of better. What helped me the most was reading self-help books that could help me to relate to my own abusive relationship. Unfortunately, as women, we think we are able to change a man. It rarely works. In order to change another person's behavior, we first have to change our own. It took a long time for me to commit to someone else. It took four years and a lot of self searching. I finally found a good and loving relationship. It's hard to let go, but you can find the strength within to do what you know is right. Good Luck to you....
2007-07-19 05:32:37 · answer #3 · answered by analisha2201 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you can do is to focus in on why the relationship was so unhealthy. You say that you still care about this person, but why? What is it about this bad person that you like so much? Why do you like what you see in this bad person?
Then look at the bad aspects and ask yourself if the good aspects are really worth dealing with all the bad aspects. The answer is most likely no, since you already broke up with him.
Then know that some of the pain is related to being alone and it will pass as you get used to being alone. You will also get stronger as person by standing on your own.
Take care,
Troy
2007-07-19 05:27:39 · answer #4 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is one of those frustrating situations where the answer and the cure does not necessarily involve or require the participation of the other person. You want to grow past the anger and try to honor the good things about the relationship and the persons involved without getting sucked back in to the unhealthy aspects.
Well, you can do that by not harboring anger or frustration with the others actions or behaviors. You can work on healing yourself and moving on with your life in a positive way. You will be glad to be armed with the new lessons and experiences that you gained from this past relationship and you'll keep that nice smile you show in your avatar working overtime.
2007-07-19 06:19:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-19 06:06:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do the things that make you happy.......focus on yourself for awhile....you might actually start to like it.....and then before you know it, someone else will come along and be 100 times better than the jerk you just dumped.....in fact, I will be around
2007-07-19 05:22:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hold your horses will ya girlfriend!!!
go out with your girlfriends... having a blast...
take things slow... don't go too fast...
get to know the guys...
and when you date a guy... do not have sex with him on the first 3 dates... i repeat....
cos it will change things... drastically...
2007-07-19 05:22:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got over my ex with good liquor and good girlfriends.
Those two can work magic together. :)
2007-07-19 05:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by violetmal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋