hi...i'm a 19 yr old girl. i stay in a hostel away from my home. we guys at the uni have nights out every weekend. once i met this guy over one such weekend and we had a fling...just a one-night stand. i didn't even look back at that chapter in my life. last week my i went home and my elder sister introduced me to her fiance. she was keeping it a tight secret from me. i got more that a surprise! it was the same guy...omg i couldn't believe it. and he was so cool about it. he shook hands and told everyone that we met had once. my family and sister were so glad about it. i felt so awkward. i have a feeling he knew i was his fiancee's sis even before my sis introduced us. how could he be so cool about it? i feel so queer.....he's gonna be my bro-in-law and i have to be in touch for an entire lifetime. i can't even confide in anyone over this. wat do i do? this is really awkward for me. i'm back in my uni hostel now and everytime i talk to my sis i feel so so so awkward.
2007-07-19 05:10:07 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thats tough!
Good luck...
2007-07-19 05:12:29 · answer #1 · answered by TurnerLove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you for feeling that way. It is a type of situation that you may see in a T.V show or something. But I think you shouldn't be worry. I think is good that you feel guilty about it. I mean, it's not like you "stole" your sister's fiance. It was a coincidence. And to be honest with you, men don't really care about one night stands. That's right they're called "one night stands". It's not like you had a serious relationship with him.
Also, since you're 19, I don't think you should be worry. I just think that the fact that your sister "coincidentally" chose her a fiance that you had a one night stand is just a consequence. I'm sure he did think about it when he first met you but I'm sure he did not mention it to your sister. And you said it yourself, you don't even look back to it. Unless, he in fact does say something, then that's another story.
I think it's O.K that you are experiencing guilt towards it. But I do think the best solution is don't say nothing. I mean, imagine if you do??? It's not like an average argument. Also, you don't want to hurt your sister. Maybe he's a real nice guy. And there's a reason why your sister chose him. Also, don't worry about what he may think. Because he may not even think twice about it(one of these days when you and him are together, I'm sure you will say something). But overall, I don't think is a big deal. And don't feel ackward towards it. And if you see your sister happy, then why break that up......
PS: Take care and don't worry about it.
2007-07-19 05:34:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lucifer6972 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, this is a weird one. First, you don't owe anything to this guy in regards to keeping it secret. It obviously is bothering you, so it now boils down to you and your sister. I think telling her totally depends on what kind of relationship you have with her. If it is distant or not very close, she may find that information as something you are saying to do damage on her and the fiance and may get angry with you, feel that you are lying out of jealousy, etc. However, if it is close and trusting, then maybe you can confide the information to her and talk it out. No doubt that info will cause damage to their relationship, though. If your not sure what to do, then keep it to yourself and pretend everything is fine. Be cool just like him. If he is no good, he will certainly rear his ugly head eventually. I would suppose at some time, you and he might be left alone and it would be interesting to see if the subject comes up and what HE has to say about it. Who knows, maybe he really loves her and the MYOB policy may prove to be the best for everyone involved. Best of luck with this one.
2007-07-19 05:24:22 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to talk to your sister about this. If she really loves the guy its not gonna change anything, it will just get the cards out on the table for everyone and hopefully make the whole situation more bearable for all involved. Plus I think your sister would be happier to find out now than later, cuz trust me this will come out sooner or later.
2007-07-19 05:15:21 · answer #4 · answered by suzyalexisandgabe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It can either come out now before the wedding
or 10 years from now one drunken Christmas eve when the kiddies are sitting around the tree.
What's the big deal - it was your past and its not like you and him are interested in each other. Tell your sis what happened and that it was one night only. She'll get over it.
2007-07-19 05:15:39 · answer #5 · answered by The First Lady 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you must tell her, that you already had sex with her fiance.
and he is no catch either. pretending you didn't hook up is plain wrong and disturbing.
he may try something with you later and pretend you only went to a restaurant.
and this will haunt you for the rest of your life, do you need that. tell your parents too, while you are at it.
sure its embarrassing, but it will be weird if by accident this night of lust comes up in some conversation out the blue. and it well, someone will want to get this off their chest sometime.
2007-07-19 05:18:48 · answer #6 · answered by Treepe 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to let it go unless it happened while he was dating your sister and you didn't know it. Maybe he acted like he knew you were her sister because your sister showed him a picture. If he told your sister that he had met you once did he say how? What kind of lie did he give for your chance encounter? If I were you I would let it go and not mention it to him or to your sister.
2007-07-19 05:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
IT IS IN THE PAST, hopefully you will not ever do it again, so consider it a lesson you needed to learn, and WALK ON BY it and get on with your life!!!! There is nothing at all you can do about what is done and over with, so give yourself a break and forget about it!!
2007-07-19 05:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are gonna have to tell your sister and hope for the best. If you don't tell her it will probably come out later in life and be even more upsetting. If you don't talk about it, it will be over your head forever.
2007-07-19 05:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your brother-in-law can keep his cool about it then perhaps you should try to.
You wouldn't want to be the reason for any future marital problems would you?
For your sister's sake keep this secret.
2007-07-19 05:17:37 · answer #10 · answered by Tom L 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is a tough one this is why you should never have a one night stand lol
serious answer - You need to tell your sister about this
Dont listen to gilapapi you will feel guility for the rest of your life
2007-07-19 05:14:18 · answer #11 · answered by Twizzlers 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋