Well he didnt actually cheat on me but he was about to. and I found out about it before he actually did it. Since the incident he's been actin really nice to me. He hasnt cursed at me in over a week now and im so used to him doin it to me everyday. It feels so good when he's nice to me. Is this going to last or is he just trying to make up for what he did. Then eventuallly go back to his old ways again?
2007-07-19 04:53:50 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
GET OUT NOW !!! ... he WILL cheat again and he WILL hurt you again ... cut your losses and hopefully learn something from this situation
2007-07-19 04:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay, so he's an "almost "cheater (have you considered the fact that he might have already cheated on you - that this wasn't the first time?) and he's verbally abusive. The abuse alone should make you walk away becaue the cheating will most likely happen again anyway. Most importantly, you deserve to be with someone who is nice to you EVERY DAY because he loves, respects and cherishes you. You're worth it and sorry, but your guy just sounds like a dog.
2007-07-19 05:02:16 · answer #2 · answered by aprilsgem2004 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No this won't last. Honestly what I'm about to say is not to hurt you in any way. Why do you want to be with him? If he is abusive he won't change. Do you not like yourself that much to be dealing with this? I'm speaking from experience. You should try and stay away from him. You don't need this in your life. A "boyfriend" that insults, curses at you, hits, threatens, breaks things, keeps you away from your friends, family, one that seems to get angry because you made him angry doesn't love you. He's being nice to you right now but he will throw this in your face down the road and will even blame you for it. Please do yourself a favor and move on. You are worth a LOT MORE. I wish you the best.
2007-07-19 05:08:09 · answer #3 · answered by rencar32002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abusive people usually have a deep seated issue that they either don't realize, or refuse to deal with - - certain things can set off the anger (causing them to be abusive) AND sometimes it can just happen without warning - this is why people such as yourself would give them the benefit of doubt and trust them again when they are being "good" - - PROBLEM IS, IF THE ABUSIVE PERSON DOES NOT GET HELP TO STOP BEING ABUSIVE, THEY WILL ABUSE AGAIN!!!!! IT IS NOT SOMETHING EASY TO FIX, AND IT DOES NOT GO AWAY BY ITSELF. Please, since you care about this man, try everything in your power to get him in to therapy before he clicks back... and make him promise to go at least once a week for awhile - not just a few sessions.
2007-07-19 05:02:43 · answer #4 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard of the cycle of abuse? It goes like this:
Incident: Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional/neglect/financial)
Making up:
Abuser may apologize for abuse
Abuser may promise it will never happen again
Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims
Calm
Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
Physical abuse may not be taking place
Promises made during 'making-up' may be met
Victim may hope that the abuse is over
Abuser may give gifts to victim
Tension building
Abuser starts to get angry
Abuse may begin
There is a breakdown of communication
Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm
Tension becomes too much
Victim feels like she/he is "walking on egg shells"
Start over with a new incident.
Please talk to someone outside of your relationship and/or the internet. It's a tough cycle to break - sometimes I think it's harder for the person being abused to break than the abuser because the victim carries the insecurity and guilt.
I'm putting a sight link below. Please check it out - it shows the cycle better than I can AND it gives you resources.
Let me say that again: The Website below GIVES YOU RESOURCES. Please look into that - information is power, and you need some of that for yourself.
2007-07-19 05:03:36 · answer #5 · answered by Mytmel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it will not last . I could be wrong though but once he feels he has you trusting him again he will start the abuse. I think right now he is afraid to lose you. But you should not be in a abusive relationship you are too good for that find someone that will treat you with the respect you deserve Love yourself.
2007-07-19 05:03:26 · answer #6 · answered by richard s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO - it won't last. This is the "honeymoon phase" of an abusive relationship. This is what makes people stay in these destructive relationships. PLEASE do some research on domestic violence and get out of this relationship while you can. Even if he hasn't gotten physically abusive yet, if he's cursing you then it's probably just a matter of time before it becomes physical. Contact your local domestic violence agency or social services agency for information and help. Good luck and God bless!
2007-07-19 05:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by Dawn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should have dumped this guy b4 you found out he was gunna cheat. NO WOMAN deserves to be abused. He prolly will go back to his old ways in no time. Get out. This could lead to threats. I wouldn't be suprised if he threatens to kill you because of what HE did. You deserve way better. Dump him + go find a man who will put his hands on you in the right way. THIS GUY DOES NOT LOVE YOU!
2007-07-19 04:59:31 · answer #8 · answered by Strider 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why are you still with him? You admit that he verbally abuses you and that he almost cheated on you. There is no doubt in my mind that given the chance, he will cheat on you again. Dump him and get a better man. His current niceness will not last.
2007-07-19 04:58:06 · answer #9 · answered by beltoraze 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
From experience this will not last. He is purely doing this to dispell any bad feelings you were holding against him. He wants you to feel relaxed and happy in his presence and then when he turns again and you question him he will turn it against you. Leave him now before you get any deeper into it. You can do so much better and don't deserve to be treated like this by anyone.
2007-07-19 04:59:48 · answer #10 · answered by Estrella Brillante 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He will go back, I'm sure. Don't stay with a guy who is emotionally or physically abusive. The days he is nice may seem good, but they won't last. You can do better!
2007-07-19 04:57:18 · answer #11 · answered by Alli 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋