Why are people w/out kids entitled to complain about children in public, but parents wishes are ignored?

Question

My children are well behaved, yet I see several people complain about children in public. My family was even asked to leave a theater on Mom's day, right after I'd had a miscarriage, my hubby & daughter (almost 2, but quiet) took me to the movies! The theater manager felt bad that he had to kick us out, refunded our snack money, and gave us double free passes, but that didn't change the facts. It's always ate at me, even 2 years (and another baby) later. Then I see magazine articles telling parents to "leave your terrors at home," and complaining about mothers nursing their babys, COVERED UP, in public. Am I the only parent getting tired of this forced segregation?

My children are well behaved, yet I see several people complain about children in public. My family was even asked to leave a theater on Mom's day, right after I'd had a miscarriage, my hubby & daughter (almost 2, but quiet) took me to the movies! The theater manager felt bad that he had to kick us out, refunded our snack money, and gave us double free passes, but that didn't change the facts. It's always ate at me, even 2 years (and another baby) later. Then I see magazine articles telling parents to "leave your terrors at home," and complaining about mothers nursing their babys, COVERED UP, in public.I'm always covered,in out of the way spaces. Don't help. Am I the only parent getting tired of this forced segregation?
We were asked to leave because my daughter was talking before the previews started showing, the only other people in there were a group of teenagers (not to much younger than myself at the time), and it was MOTHER'S DAY! I'd had a miscarriage less than a week before

Answer 1

No you sure aren't the only one feeling this way. The children we live to bring into this world will somehow change the world someday, we pray for the good. They should pat us on the back not ridicule us!

One night I was in a restaurant and my son wanted to nurse. It wasn't busy in there at all, but I still quietly excused myself from the table and went to the sitting area in the front of the restaurant and modestly fed my son. I put a blanket over my shoulder and no one would have guessed I was nursing my son. Still 2 men who were finished up and leaving walked by and proceeded to give me the third degree for not feeding him in the bathroom. Beings as I can't just let something like that roll off my back I asked them if they ate their (late night) meal in the bathroom? They told me I was a pervert for nursing anyways when I could be using a bottle!!! That was with my first child, only a few months old, I was already scared and somewhat unsure of myself then to have 2 grown men acting that way towards me.... I cried and cried, but after a while learned that there are ppl like those 2 men everywhere in this world and they are NOT going to stop me from raising my children as I see fit.

Answer 2

I am a mother of two so I believe I can answer this honestly. First of all I never would have left a theater even if asked if I was watching an age appropriate movie and my child was acting good, that I paid for regardless of the compensation. But on the other hand I am courteous of other people. I have volunteerly left a theater because my child was acting bad. I believe society is being forced to dictate decorum to mothers because we have become so slacking in the discipline area and let our children terrorize society. I'm not saying that you do let your children go wild, I'm just stating why such articles are necessary.Also, I was a breast feeding mother and I did not need an article to tell me to cover myself. Yes, it is natural and a beautiful thing but I believe since we became accustomed to covering ourself with a fig leaf we know discretion, a blanket will suffice. Using the bathroom is natural but I do not want to watch someone do this or their child. I understand what you are saying, you have every right to raise your child how you see fit but people without children have every right to their opinion, you may think your child is not being bad but "expressing themselves" while someone else may be seeing something you are not.

Answer 3

I think the complaining isn't about those parents and mothers (like yourself) who have quiet children or cover themselves up to breast feed in public. We've been so sensitized and the mothers desensitized to simple breast-feeding because they whip out the breast and feed the child in public without covering up. That's a private thing that a lot of people shouldn't see. As far as kids, I've worked in retail for years and nothing bothers me more when there's a mother shopping with 1or 2+ kids, one screaming throughout the whole store, one running around, and possibly the others running around, getting lost, or also screaming while the mother ignores them. It's maddening! They don't care that their kids are bothering the rest of the store (where a lot of people escape to in order to find a moment's peace from the calamity of home) they're selfish and just want to shop. Generalizing about anything or anyone is just plain stupid, but it's usually the bad ones (i.e. women who don't cover up to breast feed or the ones who ignore their screaming children) who are used as a descriptor for the entire group. Sorry, that's the rub.

It's like that for every age group, though. Being a teen, everyone thought I was going to steal something every time I walked into a store. Being a college student everyone thought all I wanted to do was drink and party. Everyone uses misconceptions and generalizations every day. It sucks, I know. I'm pulling for you!

Answer 4

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I am currently pregnant and have only been around one kid in my whole life which the kid is now almost 8 years old. I ran into the issue that if there was family or friends around with this child, the mother & father felt it was ok to let their kid do whatever he wanted because he was with family & friends, if something went wrong with the kid, the mother blamed the father for not paying attention to the kid. at 8 years old, this still continues.... i have the issue of when you take kids out to eat or to a store and you're having to have to get out around the kids, because the parents let them run around... my husband and i went to the store the other night, we were waiting in line to get a cart, while a mother with two kids picked a cart that has a car on the front of it, so the youngest kid gets in, and the older one things she can fit in, where she's clearing to old and big to fit in.... we're waiting patiently to get a cart that she's blocking and we say excuse me to the daughter and fight to get a cart out from the area... this mother did nothing to her daughter or move her cart for us to get one.... it's situation like these where yes kids can be kids, but when you can see that the parent doesn't care what the kid is doing, it makes you mad. some parent's don't care, where as some do, but you see more kids running around and not behaving that you see polite and kids that do behave.

Answer 5

If your child is quiet and well behaved why were you asked to leave?

My daughter truly is well behaved and I have never had any complaints from anyone. Actually I get a Lot of compliments. But along those lines I never take her anywhere inappropriate. Denny's and IHOP are restaurants for kids for example. Even though I have kids I am one to complain over a misbehaving child in an inappropriate situation. Like a 4 star restaurant! I did not get babysitting to be disturbed by someone Else's brat!

Answer 6

Nope!

I'm right there with you. It's so sad that so much of society takes this view of such a natural thing. We were all children at one point and yet, so many of us seem to readily forget that fact. And instead of simply having the patience to ignore a rowdy child that's out, which is a rather mundane thing in the long run of your life, we have to rant and rave about bad parenting whenever possible and not even give parents a chance.

Answer 7

i think its probably refering to the people who let their kids run wild in public.
im a first time mom to be and get so annoyed when at a store or something lke that and kids are running all over the place screaming and knocking stuff over. its the parents responsibility to take charge and control of their children and teach them how to act in public, but from what ive seen, they dont.
i have no problem with the kids that are not screaming lunatics, but when the parents are not paying attention to them and letting them run around and cause problems, thats when i have a problem.
as for breastfeeding in public, i have no problem with that at all. its a natural thing.

why were you asked to leave the movies?

Answer 8

It depends on the place. We were out to dinner one night and our son- who is autistic- spilled his milk. The man in the seat behind us was clearly upset at the "interruption". It was ridiculous- he didn't mean to spill it.

I don't understand it myself. I usually give people my hard "teacher glare" and walk away. I have no patience for it. Kids are kids- and they need to be both heard and seen.

I am sorry you were kicked out of the movie- I would boycott that place.

Answer 9

Where do you live? I have two children, nurse in public (never covered up) and my oldest even threw fits once in a while, but I've never had anyone complain about it. I live in Washington, and I suppose its pretty liberal... try moving here, kids welcome!!

Answer 10

Why did they allow you into the theater at all with a small child ?You should get a baby sitter like everyone else.As to breast feeding in public you should at least look for a quiet spot to do it in order to avoid hurting other peoples sensibilities.