My parents have been divorced for 13 years, but it ended badly and there is still a lot of bad blood between the two of them. They know that it's "my day" and I hope that they will behave, but you never know with the four of them. Any suggestions?
2007-07-19 03:59:50 · 14 answers · asked by Mrs.10/18/08 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Usually the mom (or the parent you have lived with) sits on the front row with her spouse or boyfriend. Dad (or whichever parent you have not lived with) sits on third row with his spouse or girlfriend.
Grandparents, siblings, or other relatives may sit on the second row. Or you can choose to leave it empty.
Separate tables at reception of course! You can surround them with their own friends or family members.
Do not ask them to be in photos together. Warn the photographer in advance that he needs to take separate photos.
I suggest wording like this on the invites:
Before they met, their strength was of one
Through marriage, they will experience
the strength of much more than two
BRIDE
and
GROOM
together with their parents
invite you to witness and celebrate
the joining of their lives
on DAY
YEAR
at TIME
LOCATION
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE
Notice phrase: together with their parents. Avoid mention of all parental names, so you don't offend anyone.
You can check out other wording options at verseit.com.
Good luck to you.
2007-07-19 04:16:48 · answer #1 · answered by Suz123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a divorced mom of two boys. I understand totally. No divorce is friendly no matter how many years later. I would speak to them separately and tell them nicely but extremely firm, that you have expectations of the behave they should conduct. If anything goes wrong to ruin your day there will be extreme consequences. They should act like adults and shut there mouth for a day. If they feel that this may be a problem it is better that they don't go. Best of luck to you Remember to always love and communicate with your partner. Marriage is something you work at each day.
2007-07-19 04:10:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there isn't a whole lot you can do, besides make it VERY clear to them - This is your day, and if they are going to behave like children (and yes, that's how I'd phrase it), then they shouldn't come. I know you probably want your parents there VERY badly... I would.
Maybe remind them "If you can't say something nice..."
On a more sensitive level (I can be too blunt and insensitive); Try talking to them both, individually, about your worries? HOPEFULLY neither of them says "Well, if THEY don't..."
They should be adult enough to take responsibility for their own actions/reactions - regardless of what the other side does or says. Especially on your day.
Good luck.
2007-07-19 04:10:15 · answer #3 · answered by ivy_shadowfare 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same issue with my in-laws. they are both re-married to wonderful people, but my fiances mom hates his dad so much, that she almost didnt come at all... And they have been divorced for 20 years. I am very nervous about it! All I can say is we are keeping them as far apart as possible those days. Good Luck
2007-07-19 04:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. 26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm the mummy on your problem. I in simple terms remarried this year and my ex husband remarried 2 years in the past. our daughter is 15. My ex husband is my maximum suitable buddy. We hated being married yet we in no way fought or did no longer get alongside. We have been 2 human beings shifting in very distinctive instructions and after 12 years of marriage have been very unfulfilled human beings at the same time and are lots happier the way we are. my daughter thinks we are extraordinary yet she wrote a paper in her english classification this year approximately how fortunate she grow to be that she had 2 gadgets of large mum and dad and no drama in her existence.
2016-10-09 01:43:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, behave in a dignified, lady like manner.
You can't control the behavior of others.
If they don't get along and cause an uproar, it might be practical to spend time with each couple separately. Sometimes adults act like they are 4 years old. Don't stoop to their level!
take care.
2007-07-19 04:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's never anything more direct than an open/honest conversation w/the both of them.
You can either do it individually-expressing your concerns to each one...or if possible/feasible ACTUALLY have them both come over to your place and address them at the same time.
Doing it at the same time will
#1-give you more of an idea as to whether they CAN be w/in close range of each other
#2-sort of helps all of you to get over the initial shock value of it all
#3-protects YOU against one thinking you're being more demanding of them and not the other or vice versa
#4-will prevent either one of them from trying to "blame" the other behind their back for whatever may potentially happen---they're both being told the same things, having the same requests made......basically you have to address it as if you're speaking to TWO CHILDREN! LOL
It's a tough situation and I know sadly my OWN daughter will have this same concern as her father and I divorced more harshly than I would've cared for. I know that I will be able to control myself for her sake, and HOPEFULLY he would be able to conduct himself w/some sort of decorum as well.
As far as what you can do DURING the event....arrange their seating as far apart as possible! LOL
Good luck dear.......
and whatever happens.....DON'T let it ruin your day!
Congratulations!
2007-07-19 04:11:50 · answer #7 · answered by secret_oktober_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having seating arrangements, seat them as far away from each other as possible, and I'm they will be respectful of such a special time for you. That's how his parents are, both divorced and remarried and a little bitter, i'm just crossing my fingers right now ( ;
2007-07-19 04:08:15 · answer #8 · answered by happily married ( : 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to them all BEFOREHAND that this will be your day and you would hope they all love you enough to behave as adults. They should realize that petty arguments will ruin what is supposed to be one of the best days of your life. Congratulations and good luck!
2007-07-19 04:08:56 · answer #9 · answered by lissa_calderone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
same exact situation as my half brother..
what he did at his wedding was just sat them on completly opposite ends of his side of the reception hall.. they played nice for the rehursal dinner and for the wedding.. they've been divorced for 27 years.. and there couldnt be more bad blood with that family if u payed them.. but if they are mature enough they will realize that its not about them.. and wont do anyhting to upset you on your wedding day.. good luck hun!!
2007-07-19 04:05:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋