My Boyfriend and I have been living together for 8 months but the other day he got mad and punched me in the face (He's never done anything like this before).
His father used to physically abuse him when he was a kid so I'm worried that my boyfriend will follow in his footsteps.
When he punched me, he went white as a sheet, started crying and said how sorry he was over and over again. He's normally the nicest person you could ever meet.
I love him and really don't want to leave him, I'm just wondering what the right thing to do is.
2007-07-19 03:59:08 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 24 by the way.
2007-07-19 04:01:18 · update #1
When and if you did marry him he will punch the hell out of you. No excuse. If you have children, he will hit them and hurt them even as infants.
This relationship has no future. Break it off.
Hear that advice like thunder.
When you break it off, he may get violent. Take precautions.
Never ever accept abuse.
2007-07-19 04:04:45 · answer #1 · answered by Topsail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES!
There is NEVER a good reason for violence in the relationship. NEVER!
If you stay with him, you are basically giving him permission to do it again. Because - you allowed it to happen (no- you didn't ask for it, but you stuck around with him) and so that sends him the message that you are okay with him hitting you.
There is a Cycle of Violence in abusive situations. At first everything is great. Then he gets mad... Then he snaps and hits you, hurts you. Then the 'Honeymoon' phase starts and he's soooo sorry, and he'll never do it again, and you take him back. You feel sorry for him, justify why he did it, maybe even blame yourself for making him so mad. Things are good for a while...
Then it happens again. And Again.
I was raised in an abusive situation. I made very strong promises to myself that l would NEVER be like my stepdad. And I NEVER have.
But the fact that he has hit you - no, not just hit you, punched you in the face - tells me that he doesn't have the same discipline. He needs help. Maybe meds.
I know you love him. You could stay - but - BUT!!! Know that unless he gets SERIOUS help (and maybe meds) it will not change.
If you stay and he hits you again - then it is definitely time to leave. Do NOT Stay around for a third round. Leave and press charges.
And you certainly don't want to bring children into this.
What ever you do - Remember this - If he hits you, it is NOT your fault.
Feel free to contact me down the road if you'd like. I spent 8yrs as a police officer, with a focus on family abuse situations. Believe me, I've been there and seen how these situations turn out... more times than I'd like to count.
2007-07-19 04:13:01 · answer #2 · answered by Rif Tahoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say leave him, I lived with an abusive man and he would always say he was sorry, but then do it again. If he really loves you maybe he will get some counseling and then the both of you can be friends again. I dont think when two people love each other they would ever even consider hitting one another. You deserve better, and I know it will hurt to say goodbye. I know you wont want to be hit for 10 or 20 years and that could be what your looking at.
2007-07-19 04:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by BahijahDances 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is never going to stop hitting you. Your absolutely out of your mind to even ask this question....you should have the answer already. Your in an abusive relationship and this violence and apologies is going to continue until you die....unless you get out now. NO REAL MAN HITS A WOMAN OR A CHILD. Your an idiot if you don't dump this clown. I mean that in the nicest way.
2007-07-19 04:04:02 · answer #4 · answered by BudLt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think u should leave him, if you love him u should help him out if he was physically abused he probably has allot of emotion about everything he went try, BUT i am not saying it is OK for him to punched u in the face if he dose it again move out and help him but don't be to close to him
2007-07-19 05:18:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has biult up grudges on his father. He needs counseling, or you can talk to him about his whole abuse situation let him get it out. Then talk about the way you thing he should handle situation when his get mad. Maybe he should take a walk or do some push-ups when he feels like punching.
2007-07-19 04:09:00 · answer #6 · answered by hip-notizin' 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your really love him, you guys will work it out somehow. but a punch is a bit over board, that means he could snap anytime like he just did. the real answer is if you love him so much, you'll try to stick with him and work with this problem anyway you can to make it better. if the results are progressing then why not stay, but if its the oppisite there might be other option out there. well good luck.
2007-07-19 04:04:55 · answer #7 · answered by lilbeian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now! Why wait for him to do anything worse,I know that its hard when there are feelings involved but he has a problem,hewill only be the nicest person until you do something that makes him mad again.
2007-07-19 04:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by creassongs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The point is he hit you. Leave him, just because he hasn't ever done it before and said that he is sorry it doesn't mean that he won't do it again. Get out of this relationship now before it's too late. If my man hit me I'd never be able to forgive him and trust him again.
2007-07-19 04:03:08 · answer #9 · answered by LuckyStar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run away. As far and as fast as you can. I would suggest pressing charges on him for what he did. If someone can hit you once.. they can and most likely will do it again. He is repeating the violence he grew up with.. and without real help he will likely mirror his abusers. In the meantime.. you need to get out (safely) and get away from him. If you allow him to get away with it this time he will always believe he can do this to you again.. and the next time could be much worse.
2007-07-19 04:03:06 · answer #10 · answered by Carrie C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋