10 points for 1st person to make me laugh
2007-07-19 03:45:13 · 18 answers · asked by old school 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Man and wife always have sex in the dark, one night they were having mad hot passionate sex and the woman turns the light on. To her horror she finds her husband with a sex toy in his hand.
She goes ballistic! "You impotant ba**ard!!" she screams,,, "I cant believe you've lied to me for all these years"!!!
The husband turns to his wife, looks her straight in the eye and says calmly.. "Okay.. I'll explain the toy... You explain the kids"
2007-07-19 03:55:18 · answer #1 · answered by Terri B 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes, A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever ...
Roses are red violets are blue, god made me pretty, what happened to you?
guys are like slinkies its always fun to watch them fall down the stairs
Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your smile :)
Last night I was looking at the stars and I was wondering where the heck is my ceiling!
If You Luv Me... Let Me Know... If You Don't... Then Let Me Go...
********Did u fall down the ugly tree and hit every branch on your way down!********
what's the difference between boy's soccer and girl's soccer? oh ya girl's make it look better!!
Well if i called the wrong number, whyd you answer?
There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
Don't be a guy, The world is full of guys.Be a MAN **
I can only please one person per day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.
Don't call me a GODDESS, Don't call me a QUEEN, Just call me the cutest PRINCESS you've ever seen!
I'm §uGaR & §piCe & EvErYtHiNg N¡Ce... b4 yOu Me§§ w/ Me... yOu Ãe§t ThiNk twiCe
2007-07-19 13:03:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Diet for stressed women - sounds good to me! This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds during the day.
BREAKFAST
* 1 Grapefruit
* 1 slice whole-wheat toast
* 1 cup skim milk
LUNCH
* 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
* 1 cup herbal tea
* 1 Penguin Biscuit
AFTERNOON TEA
* The rest of the Penguins from the packet
* 1 tub of Gino Ginelli ice cream with chocolate topping
DINNER
* 4 bottles of wine (red or white)
* 2 loaves garlic bread
* 1 family size Supreme pizza
* 3 snickers bars
LATE NIGHT SNACK
* 1 whole cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)
REMEMBER:
"Stressed" spelled backwards is desserts"
Send this to four women and you will lose two kilograms
Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew) and you will lose 10kgs
IF you delete this message you will gain 10 kgs
Here's some advice for you:
Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.
So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and before leaving the house morning, I finished off a bottle of Pinot, a bottle of Chardonay, a bottle of Baileys, a butle of Kehuha, a pockage of Pinqeuns, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke, some saltins an a bax a cholates.
Yu haf no idr who gud I fel!
2007-07-19 12:34:03 · answer #3 · answered by Ladyfromdrum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, labs, etc. Going into the final exam, they ad solid "A's."
These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem. final was on Monday), they decided to go up to University of Virginia to a party with some friends.
So they did this and had a great time. However, they ended up staying longer than they planned, and they didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found Professor Aldric after the final and explained to him why they missed it.
They told him that they went up to Virginia for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time. So they were late getting back to campus.
Aldric thought this over and agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Aldric had told them.
He placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about free radical formation and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page.
They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page.
It said: (95 points) "Which tire?"
2007-07-19 11:00:12 · answer #4 · answered by twinkLe 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee
On his very first day of work, he dials an extension and shouts into the phone “GET ME A COFFEE, QUICKLY!”
The voice from the other side responded “you fool! You have dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?”
“No,” replied the trainee.
“I’m the CEO of the company!”
The trainee shouts back, “And do you know who you’re talking to?!”
“No,” replied the CEO indignantly.
“Good!” replied the trainee, who put down the phone.
2007-07-19 11:00:55 · answer #5 · answered by cockster 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why did the Good Lord give women THRUSH?
So they can get used to living with an irritating tw@t
before they marry one!!
What does a woman do with her @rsehole before sex?
She drops him off at the Golf course.
2007-07-19 11:42:57 · answer #6 · answered by Vanilla Icequeen 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
relax -open your mouth and say 'ha. Now do that again 'ha.
Now do it a surprising amount of times hahahahahah.
Your laughing
2007-07-20 08:36:08 · answer #7 · answered by jupiteress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two irishmen having a bad day
paddy and mick had a nightmare day visiting the sperm bank in london.........
paddy missed the tube and mick came on the bus........... xx
2007-07-23 08:03:07 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs Chicagosgirl!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know whats funny, george w bush as president! thats right, i went there
2007-07-22 16:20:35 · answer #9 · answered by mike m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
john prescott was the deputy priminister that was a big laugh still peeing myself now ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
2007-07-19 10:56:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋