How do you react when family repeat a secret you told them, now the whole thing blows up in your face?

Question

I am currently in this situation and it was my husband that told my private feelings to his mother.I was uncomfortable about the sleeping arrangements for the cabin holiday we were going on as an extended family. I have 3 children and we all have to sleep in the one room with the grand parents(they sleep in separate beds) my kids, myself(my husband can't come up the whole week until the weekend ) and my brother in-law and his new girlfriend are going to share a bed)Everyone is in plain view of each other (We are all on bunk beds)and I was uncomfortable about my children being there seeing their uncle sleeping with his girlfriend.I told him I wasn't sure if I wanted to go I asked my husband to not repeat it.He picked up the phone and I begged him not to call, that we could solve this between us and .......well he repeated to his mother. Now his mother & father aren't speaking to me and my husband said that I am not going and the kids are. I told him not if I am not there. I need advise

He didn't tell her nicely he said I was insane and that I refused to go with his brother there. Everyone has a right to be there.I just would rather not expose my kids to that scene and I wanted to wait to go up with my husband and not for the week without him. He totally exaggerated and he will not take it back. It seems too late already. They do not want me there, and I ruined their summer.

I never said I refused to go I really want to make everyone happy, but now how?
Am I supposed to apologize? I didn't do anything! My husband said I should ...when he was the one who started this? If he would stayed off the phone in his moment of rage and ridicule this wouldn't even be occurring. I would of just gone up for the weekend, no one would of known anymore then that.

Answer 1

The brother-in-law sharing a bed with his girl friend in front of three the kids is totally unacceptable. You have every right not to agree to this and the rest of the family are crazy if they do. It's unclear what your husband is thinking, but as the father of three children, he ought to have better sense to even consider this outrageous arrangement. At this point the whole holiday is ruined so there would be no point for you or your children to go. Let the rest of them go if they want to, but this trip is a wash out for you.
As for your reaction to this mess, you need to consider your standing with this family. Apparently your say doesn't count for much and it's turned into you against them with your husband leading the way. He's unreliable who can't respect your wishes to keep matters between you both (like he should) and at the drop of a hat, he's on the phone spilling his guts to his family about your personal business. What it's come down to is you can't please these people and there is no use in trying. You need to do what's best for you and your kids because by the looks of things you're the only one who has the common sense to the right thing. This family will roll on you every chance they get so don't let them. Stand your ground and apologize for nothing; you did nothing wrong. They're trying to make you out to be the bad guy, twisting things out for their benefit. Bottom line is the kids stay home with you no matter how or what anyone tries to do change your mind.

Answer 2

A lot of Booing is the dumbest thing a Face wrestler can get... If a face gets so much boo's it is better they turn him heel... or make him wrestle against some less popular heels.. Fans are sick and tired of that wrestler, whether it is for being in the Main-Event Picture so long or the boring in-ring ability or the backstage politics/ego... As far as heels getting cheered, it is reasonable.. after all they are very popular and fans can look through the character the wrestlers play... and would cheer them no matter heel or face... If they are cheered so much, either WWE should convert them into faces, or make them to do/say more bad things to get the heel heat... Chris Jericho playing the heel role as a loser, and using the cheap heel tactics he gets the most heat... Edge is the Ultimate Opportunist.. He cheats... He is a cowardly heel... But atleast he is the champion... So he gets lesser heat than Jericho... Orton, the determined WWE champion, the leader of Legacy, is not even shown as a bad person... He is just doing some bad things to give back what they deserve to those who messed with him in the past... And also Orton being 'cool', 'young', and simply put 'better' than all others, he gets the least heat... but still he is the top heel, as the marks hate him more, I believe.. Whatever, even if Orton, being a heel, hits the RKO on HulkHogan, The Rock and Stone Cold, he would still be cheered... He is that much over with the WWE Universe...

Answer 3

YOU did not ruin anyone's summer--everyone can choose to take things personally or not.

Your real issue is that your husband put staying his parents' good graces above your marriage. That is unacceptable.

You have 50% say over what you find comfortable for your children to attend. Your husband cannot force your hand on this issue unless you allow him too.

Your husband is in the wrong--he won't even be there for the majority of the time.

You are also right to not want your children witnessing unmarried people sleeping together, if that violates your personal values. You are not the host, however, so your hands are tied.

I'd just skip out on the weekend. If your husband wants to take the kids when he goes, fine, but then you will know where he stands.

I think you and hubby need marriage counseling.

Answer 4

if you had concerns about the sleeping arrangements and weren't going to say anything yourself, i think it's right that he said something to his parents. at least he tried to make the problem better. the grandparents have no right to be mad at you because maybe a boyfriend/girlfriend sleeping in the same bed before marriage is a moral that you are trying to teach your children. how can they be angry with that? talk to the grandparents yourself.

Answer 5

Your kids, your choice how to raise them and if you dont want them exposed to that you have every right to say so..
That you spoke to your husband first shows your comittment to being parents that both decide, sorry that he repeated your side incorrectly.
Id call his folks and tell them he is insane,lol, and that you neva said it like that and tell them what you actually ment.

Who know maybe your MIL will even agree?

Answer 6

Your feelings belong to YOU, and if you feel uncomfortable, well, you can't change that.

If your inlaws are upset about it, it's their problem.

You and your husband need to have a talk about privacy and trust, it seems? I am not there, but he doesn't seem to have a lot of respect for your privacy and your thoughts about situations.

take care... i hope t hings work out