Please answer when you had your second child if you waited a while and how that worked out /R U glad u waited?

Question

Question:I'm 28. My hubby is about to turn 34. I have a 6 yr old son and as of right now he's my only one. Personally, I've said I wanted to have another child between the time my son is like 7-10. Please noone say anything about didn't I want to have my children real close in age, because I have wanted mine spaced apart some though I know it is not the norm compared to what most people do. Anyway, I just want to know about when you had your second child if you waited a while and just about how that worked out for you?

Thank you in advance for your reply!

Answer 1

My kids are 4 years apart and that worked well for me. My mom has a sister who is 6 years younger than her and my grandmother thought that was such a great spacing that she planned and had another child when my aunt was 6. She really liked that the older child was in school and that gave her more time during the day to focus on the baby. Everyone will give you advice about the best spacing, but I think whatever works for you and your family is what is best. If you want to wait a few more years, then wait. You don't owe it to your son to have your children close in age.

Answer 2

Well, one of the most important factors is YOUR age. The older you get, the more likely of having a mentally handicapped child. I am 39 and way too old to be sure I'd have a healthy baby. Look it up...it's a fact.

Next, my son was 4 when I had my second. OHMYGOSH the worst timing. The older boy finds the younger boy a total pain. He's jealous, he's not the best big brother.

If I had a child now, my nearly 7 year old would probably be great with it. So would my nearly 11 year old.

The kids I babysit, they are about 2 years apart and they get along a lot better than my two.

Answer 3

My kids are 9,7, 18 mos and 7 mos and I will be 5 mos pregnant next week. I know you don't want to hear about how great it is having them close, which by looking at the ages of my kids, you can probably figure, that's what I prefer.

There is positive and negative with waiting a while between kids. The POSITIVE is that my 9&7 yo's are great with the 2 little ones. I taught them how to change diapers, make bottles, etc., so it gives me the opportunity to actually clean my house every day without having to keep stopping to care for the 2 littler ones. My 2 oldest are a real huge help and I really appreciate them (never mind the fact that with the reality of 4 kids in my house it can never really stay all that clean for long because I AM a parent first and foremost and do take care of my kids myself and spend time with the older ones). But the negatives are that especially my 9 yo, when I had the 18 mo old, he had a real hard time accepting it, and still occasionally does. He was OK with my 7yo because I had them close, they were raised together and even though they fight, as all kids do, they are still real close. But my 9 yo is used to having my attention to himself and his sister only and still sometimes has a hard time accepting the fact that it's not just the 2 of them anymore. My 7 yo is OK with everything though. She doesn't really care, she looks at her little brother and sister as like live baby dolls that she can play house with all of the time. She loves getting them dressed and changing their clothes a million times a day and things like that. I guess it depends on the kid. I never thought from my 9yo sons personality he'd have a problem with it, he wanted a little brother and when he actually got one, well......But whatever works best for you! Good luck

Answer 4

I hope that telling you about 2 of my friends who waited too long to have their second kids will help you.
They both had their first one's in 20's and thought that if they got their game together and spaced it out, it will be better. Also to put their work/education in place too.
Unfortunately once you have one kid, the needs only keep getting more and more even though the idea is that once they grow up they will be more independant.
Now one of my friend who kept postponing it for some or other reason is pregnant with her second and the age difference is going to be 9 years.
And other cannot concieve easily because of medical reasons. So all I have gathered from this is that if you know you want another and important issues like spouse, finances or safety isnt in the negative than just go ahead and have it before you cant for some reason. Good luck.

Answer 5

i have 3 kids the oldest boy 7 years the girl 2 year and my baby boy 3 months,.. i must admit thier are good and bad to each situtaion....when you wait it is much easier i think cause the oldest understand a little more that the baby needs more of your time but also the longer you wait to have another might in a twisted way be harder on your child now say you wait til he is 10 cause for the last 10 years he was the spoiled one and then all the sudden here comes another baby and he has to share everything...i say this cause i was the only child til i was 16 and i got everything i wanted but once that baby came along i was no longer the baby but really no matter how long you wait it will all be fine

Answer 6

I'm expecting my second next month. My daughter is 11 years old. I dont think anyone has a right to say when it's the right time for you to plan your family.

After I had my daughter, I just havent found the "right" time to have another baby whether it was because of my relationship with the father, financial reasons, or because of selfish reasons like having back some freedom for myself having an older child.

I dont feel bad about the age gap. I dont think my daughter will bond any less with her new brother. In fact, she's just as excited as the rest of us and I wont have to worry about sibling rivalry.

I wouldnt worry too much about what other people think. Only you can decide when its the right time to grow your family.

Answer 7

I have an 11 yr old daughter, and twins due in December. I am glad I waited. I had 11 years to focus only on her and to just enjoy her. Plus, she will be a big help with the new babies. She is independent and won't need me as much as, say, a 3 year old would. I am so happy that I waited! I had all this time with my sweet girl getting my undivided attention. It will be an adjustment for all of us, but I have no regrets about waiting so long.

Answer 8

I was 18 when I had my daughter, I am expecting my second child this Jan. I am 26, turning 27 in Dec. I wasnt expecting the second one, but it happened. I say what ever happens happens you dont expect anything unless you plan it and even planning can go wrong. I dont think that age difference matters, its how ready you are to raise another one. Alot of people arent capable of raising 1 let alone 2. My daughter cant wait for her bro or sis to come, atleast she can help my with the little things, and I know she wont be jealous which makes me happy. Wish you the best.

Answer 9

Okay, my son and daughter are 51/2 years apart and I don't see anything wrong with this. It was great that my son who is older, was able to be such a help to me (I had a c-section) and that he was capable of understanding that mommy and daddy were going to need his help sometimes. :)

Also, I am the oldest of three girls. There are 7 and 10 years difference between me and my two sisters. There was never a problem with us being so far apart. Plus, I got to help out a great deal and enojoy my siblings as babies and as they grow up. My middle sister turned 18 today!

Answer 10

My sons are 5 years apart. It's not something that I planned.. thats just how it worked. I was wanting them closer together. Took me over 2 years to get pregnant a second time. I still wish they would have been closer. Right now it seems as if they are always fighting. Not very often can they play together without some kind of issue. I think children born closer together seem to play together a little better.