He asked me to be his "girlfriend". We're in love and talk of getting married and having a family. Everyone that sees us thinks we are the cutest couple. I just feel the need to mention this issue to him because I don't want to be with someone on the downlow and find out later he's gay and have AIDS. I just want to make him aware of these "female qualities". I don't want him to be mistaken for gay. He treats me with the utmost respect and attention. What should I do?
2007-07-19 02:27:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If treating a woman with respect is a "gay" mannerism, most of my male friends exhibit "gay" mannerisms. If they didn't, we wouldn't be friends.
Seriously, I think you're being ridiculous. If you truly believe your boyfriend is gay, you need to talk to HIM about it.
2007-07-19 02:32:23 · answer #1 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are going to like my answer.
First of all I am gay and I don't know what do you mean by "gay mannerisms". I assume you are talking about some kind of label, or cliche that is in YOUR mind means "GAY". But it all depends on where did you grow up and your upbringing and where do you live.
Some very straight actor or artist in Los Angeles to your opinion, perhaps, will have so much of that "mannerism" that you will be pointing finger screaming "gay!!!."
So, please be careful with it.
Second. I don't think you love your guy. I think you love his attention to you and that everyone see you as a "cutest couple", you flattered that HE proposed to you to be his GF, and he "treats you with utmost respect".
From you I just know that you hate his mannerisms, which BTW will never change, whether you will talk to him about it or not. If you would love him, you would probably find it charming , or cute. You either have to accept it, or move on. Especially because you are so concerned about how other people think and see you, and to be seen with a "gay" guy would be the biggest tragedy of your life.
I think you better find someone you will really fall in love with and don't lead this guy on.
But all that apart, what really infuriates me is that for you gay=AIDS.
Do you know that more straight people have AIDS then gay people and more women then men?
So, with out knowing your sex history, statistically you might as well be infected and he is not. (even if he is gay)
So, what would you do?- find someone you will fall in love with to get married.
2007-07-20 22:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by serge_leatherbear 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a wonderful guy!! Apparently he's not gay, or he wouldn't be asking you to be his girlfriend, unless that's his way of hiding, if he were gay. Does he enjoy being close to you, touching, and kissing? Or does he act like he doesn't want to get too close to you physically? Only you can tell, since you are with him all the time. He could be one of those guys who never participated in sports. Maybe he was more into academics and didn't take the time to develop athletically. Who knows!!!! I've always heard that if you love a person, you shouldn't want to change them, or you really dont' love them enough to get involved with them. I'm like you, I wouldn't like the gay qualities. You need to watch him closely and see how he reacts with the guys. You should be able to tell by observing . Maybe you could make a remark about seeing some other guy that acted gay, and see what he says.
2007-07-19 02:49:39 · answer #3 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat a path to the altar is what you should do.
Every person has both genders in them. His female side is just more apparent than his male side. It has no meaning in terms of his sexual orientation.
The former music director at my church was one of the most effeminate males I have ever known. Most people honestly thought he had a gender identity crisis. Yes he was married had 3 children and was as straight as an arrow.
On the other hand, my best Friend was a top rated former college quarterback. Was drafted by the Oakland Raiders in the 70's, but got hurt in college and was never able to play. He sounded and talked like a truck driver. He is now living in one of the few states that allow same sex marriages because he is "married" to another man.
So just because a person has female charasteritics, does not make him Gay or Straight.
2007-07-19 02:35:07 · answer #4 · answered by mikeae 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't accuse him of being gay...some guys are just a little feminine...ask him to get an AIDS test...Ask if he has ever had a gay relationship. Try some pre-marital counseling..Now this may seem bad...but I would hack into his computer and check out what kind, if any, porn he is looking at. Does he come from a religious or judgemental family? Why would he not be able to be gay if he really is? Does he look at other guys? Wow, good luck....don't marry him unless youre SURE...
2007-07-19 02:32:50 · answer #5 · answered by suitablepenname 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, not everyone who is gay has aids, that is a pretty big assumption. Secondly, if you want to know about his past sex life, ask him. You don't have to ask directly, but ask how many people he has been with, who he has slept with and so on. Also, it sounds like you love him a lot, and if some people think that he may be gay, it really shouldn't matter too much, as long as you know that he loves you and is with you than you should be happy to have him.
2007-07-19 02:32:43 · answer #6 · answered by Hannah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If his mannerisms bother you, you might want to reconsider the relationship. You might be able to convince him to change some things, but you SHOULDN'T ask him to change. You should love him for who he is, or get out of the relationship. If he is with you and wants to stay with you, that is a good sign that he is straight. Don't question his sexuality.
Also it is rather narrow-minded to assume that if he was gay he would automatically get AIDS. It is smart for you both to be tested for AIDS anyway.
2007-07-19 02:41:38 · answer #7 · answered by Alli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats funny and common, just say " hey I heard you two laughing blah balh blah last night " and leave it at that. she will think aboutit and realize you were awake. If it makes you uncomfortable then the next time your listening to them fool around, try to fart or make a fart noise. Nothing is more distracting then a fart. That will make them wonder if you are awake or burst out laughing or just as uncomfortable as you are. Either way a good fart will solve your problems :)
2016-05-17 09:08:17 · answer #8 · answered by lana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it bothers you so much, then break it off with him. He told you already that he loves you and you suspect that he is gay? Sheesh.
2007-07-19 02:31:02 · answer #9 · answered by Miss J 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
well.how about touching "her ' genitals" just to be sure..lol...romantically...subtle though..or simply ask 'her' are you gay?
or i really dont know..me? i do ask them that straightforwardly...you have to do what you must do or die in vain..
2007-07-19 02:36:07 · answer #10 · answered by aloloidz 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋