To go or not to go? Please help - must decide now...?

Question

Hi

I'm booked on a holiday to Ibiza with a crowd of friends, including the ex-boyfriend, who hurt me a lot.

I changed my accommodation plans to stay with the majority of the group at the villa, whilst the ex stays in an apartment with a couple of other friends.

I'm really torn in what to do. If I go, it's going to drain me financially, and it'll be very awkward to put on a face of niceness to someone who was a complete control freak and treated me badly. However, if I do go, I get to spend the holiday of a lifetime with my friends. I went last year and had an amazing time.

Should I not go, save the money, put it towards my travelling funds for next year, save myself any potential heartbreak and not end up in a mess recovering afterwards.

OR, do I throw caution to the wind, have a great time with my friends and not be regretting missing a holiday with 30 of my mates?

I can't decide.

He is only going Friday to Monday, I am going Friday to Friday, so will have a bit of extra time without him there.

Answer 1

I think you should go...dont let him make you miss out any longer!
Also if i tell you not to go and you feel disappointed by that then that will tell you how much you want to go...so go!

Answer 2

We can't decide for you... I'm gonna try to help you though.

You need to figure out what you want the most. Going there and having a great time with your friends and possibly having a hard time being around your ex for a few days. Or staying here and saving the money.

I personally think that holidays are always fun, even if you end up broke.... you'll have a great time. Besides he'll only be there for 3 days and you won't even be staying at the same place. When you go out, if you don't wanna see him you can ask one of your friends to go somewhere else and try to avoid him.

In my opinion, you're gonna have a great time. And if there's any problem or you're not feeling good you will have your friends there to support you.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

I think you should go. You can avoid his company for the first part of the holiday as you will be in a crowd and can maybe do something that he is not involved in.
If he is a control freak, how much pleasure would you get being there on holiday, having a great time knowing that he knows he has no control over anything you do or say! Have a great time, have fun, and as I always say to my daughter, be careful out there!

Answer 5

you go girl. just do it and deal with the other possibilities when you return. you are an individual human being and not even a barn animal should do without and suffer like you. i say go and you will sort the rest out when you return. start packing and tell nobody nothing i say. that is how you make good memories. you will remember the trip forever. the ex is not gonna make your decisions. the decision to be an ex should have been final. anyway go go go!

just steer clear of the ex -- that would be the only reason to cancel. stay away. never allow yourself to be alone with that one. you instincts tell you so and stay away. that part must be over. and one parting thought is that if you think you might do drugs. do not go. that is clear cut. no drugs or stay home. and don't lie to yourslef. good luck sweet one.

Answer 6

Go. If it was just a trip with the two of you or with his family, I'd have cancelled.

But why let him dictate how you spend time with your friends? You could bump into him anywhere; will you always scurry away if he shows up? He hurt you, but he did not change who you are. If you don't go, it'll seem like you're making him more important than 30 people.

30 friends vs 1 a$$hole: I'll take the 30 friends.

Answer 7

Sounds like you know what to do already. That maybe you shouldn't go? You could end up trapped in Ibiza with the ex wishing you were somewhere else. How about a new years break with some of your friends instead?

Answer 8

You really shouldn't be going on a trip that is going to drain you financially whether the ex is there or not. But since he is, why don't you save for next year's trip when he won't be a factor.

Answer 9

GO GO GO!! Why should u not go because of him? he is only there a few nites and at least u have other mates there, just be civil to him so it doesnt spoil ur hol and ur mates hols. U dont have to talk to him if u dont want to but its best if u say HI. I dont know what ur circumstances were but just go. The monday will be here quick enough then u can totally relax for the rest of ur hol. if u do go, enjoy and dont let any1 make u feel as though u cant do something, u can. x

Answer 10

perhaps you should sit this one out and save the money. this will also give you time to heal emotionally. I think you know this is what you need to do on all levels, but you would love to go and have fun with your friends.
If this is an annual thing, you will be better prepared emotionally and financially next year, and who knows...maybe you will be bringing that new boyfriend you are going to meet along for the trtip of his life!!

Answer 11

You're obviously not strong enough to face your ex and it doesn't sound as your looking forward to it either. Save your money and heartache and go another time when your either stronger or he's not going to be there.