if youve been abused and victimized and bullied by people and the system half your life, will you become that?

Question

bitter and angry and full of rage that you wont be able to recover and get well?
& because youve been made a victim so many times and bullied you will feel to intimidated & scared to go outside and be yourself & live your life?

im a 30 year old bpd sufferer who feels very alone in the nature and extent ive had to suffer for, i feel the uk system has destroyed my life. in my 30 years ive:~ been attacked, suffered head injuries, ~was sexually abused at 3 years old~ then again at 7~ been assaulted numerous times in the street my street youths(hoodlams)~ been in a psychiatric hospital for 18 months~ was taunted there by staff and patients~ was bullied throughout my high school years, went to 4 different high schools~....now im 30 and thats just some of the stuff ive had to go through, i feel my lifes been destroyed and i feel no ones suffered as much as i have.
i want to leave britain and build a new life for myself, but i dont no how to reach these goals. im waiting for therapy

Answer 1

You are no longer a child.

Ditch the "victim" mentality, and assume a "survivor" mentality.

If you want to change your life, DO IT. It really IS as simple as that.

You've got the reigns. Your life is your own. You've only got one. You can spend it fussing and moaning about the past, blaming others for your own choices as an adult, and wallowing in self-pity,

or...

You can step up to the plate and start LIVING.

What's it going to be?

Answer 2

You are not alone. I told you before I and MANY other people have the same, similar or worse experiences. I agree with the first answer about taking on the SURVIVOR role. You are a survivor. It may take some time before you can accomplish all of this. Apply this and the other advice you've been given in previous questions. A little every day. Eventually, you will improve. Unfortunitly, the world we now live in is full of these types of things. However, you can be abused or even killed in your own house. So why not live a little? Life is short, very short. It would be great if you could overcome your fears and thoughts. So that you could enjoy life. No matter where you are. If you confide yourself to your living quarters and yourself. You are going to be miserable. People need some human contact, friends and support. This has to start with YOU. Have some faith in yourself and the people in the world who are not abusive. There are many people who really do care. I may have already recommended these books to you...,
Read
The courage to heal
A boy named it
A man named Dave
There is a third book to the last two. Ask someone at a library, online, or in a book store what it is.
These books will help. They will show you, you are not alone.
As well as, how good life can be.
You can go on the rest of your life like this. Or you can do something about it. I have PTSD, BPD, Depression, Panick attacks, and co dependency. If I can do it, so CAN YOU. GL P.S. You can become that (abusive) if you don't get help and let yourself become that way. From your previous questions. You have a lot of anger. You need to learn anger management and self control. Along with positive thinking and improving your self esteem.

Answer 3

No matter how badly you've been abused, there is always someone that has suffered more than you. I am not trivialising what you've gone through, it's just a fact of life.
You're only 30yrs old. If you continue to see yourself as hard done by and a victim, then your abusers have won and will continue to win as long as you let them. I'm glad that you're going for therapy. It might be just the thing you need. I hope that it will enable you to turn the corner and learn how to live freely without the ball and chain that's kept you in misery, in the past.
I wish you all the best for your new life!

Answer 4

Getting the therapy is the first step.

Then you have to decide who YOU want to be.

There are two kinds of people in this world friend....

1. Quitters - they think, the world has F'ed me over, so I will quit! I don't have to be responsible for my actions, I am miserable, so I have the right to make you miserable. If I can't have a better life, I will ruin everyone else's.Take that!

2. Warriors - They think, try as you might you can't keep me down! You have done every possible thing to try and ruin me, but I'm still here, and rather than getting worse, I'm going to get better! Stronger, Smarter, and kinder. I will show you douchebags that you didn't win!

Be a warrior, you clearly are a strong person and I KNOW you can have the life you want.
(HUGS)
Lilly

Answer 5

Wow... I feel for you.
I am very sorry you have had to endure these experiences.
I do not want to sound patronizing and say 'sorry things will get better'..
But you seem to have come to a cross road... you go forward and be positive or you focus on the past and submerge yourself in those past negative experiences ... I say you choose the positive path...

You may not be able to erase the bad memories/experiences but you can use them channel them into something positive.

Maybe a change of scenery is what you do need.. new country.. first step take a break a holiday somewhere nice where you can think, look at nature, meet new people..

But give everyone a fair chance not everyone in life is going to hurt you.. some will help you...

Make today be the first step to the rest of your life choose the postive path...


hope this helps


nai nai xx

Answer 6

What you have experienced is awful and I am sorry for you. No one should go through even a small amount of this, but the truth is you are the only one who can control how you turn out.

Put three people through the same trauma and one will be made stronger, one a quivering wreck and one a sociopath. If you know what your goals are you have already achieved the hardest part. Now you need to look at how you will get there and you will if you fight for it. The question is do you have the fight left in you, to stay positive and determined even after a knock back.

I really do wish you luck.

Answer 7

you're actually not on my own. I advised you before I and an excellent variety of human beings have an identical, comparable or worse reviews. I believe the 1st answer approximately taking over the SURVIVOR function. you're a survivor. it ought to take a while before you may accomplish all of this. be conscious this and the different suggestion you have been given in previous questions. a sprint daily. ultimately, you will strengthen. Unfortunitly, the international we now stay in is packed with those forms of issues. notwithstanding, you will possibly be abused or maybe killed on your individual domicile. So why not stay a sprint? existence is short, very short. it would be super in case you ought to overcome your fears and innovations. so which you ought to have fun with existence. no count the place you're. in case you confide your self on your living quarters and your self. you would be depressing. human beings prefer some human touch, pals and help. This has to start with YOU. Have some faith in your self and the folk in the international who're not abusive. there are lots of people who relatively do care. i ought to have already counseled those books to you..., study The braveness to heal A boy named it a guy named Dave there's a 0.33 e book to the final 2. Ask somebody at a library, on line, or in a e book save what it somewhat is. those books will help. they're going to coach you, you're actually not on my own. besides as, how stable existence could be. you may pass at something of your genuine looking this. or you may shelter it. I even have PTSD, BPD, melancholy, Panick assaults, and co dependency. If i will do it, so are you able to. GL P.S. you may replace into that (abusive) in case you don't get help and enable your self replace into that way. out of your previous questions. you have an excellent variety of anger. you may desire to study anger administration and self administration. alongside with beneficial thinking and recuperating your self self assurance.

Answer 8

Bless your victimizers (you don't have to forgive them if you don;t want to), then visualize yourself rubbing your hands and your victimizers falling out of your hands and into a BIG box that says "OVER AND DONE WITH and now THEY HAVE TO FACE THEIR CONSEQUENCES") then BLESS yourself and say "I am GREATER than ANY Evil which has befallen me!!!" and mentally walk away from the past -- it will try to "follow" you (in the form of memories and flashbacks -- I still get mine, too) but it is NOT YOU.

Then go into therapy (group and/or or individual), eat well, get enough sleep, worship at the church(es) of your choice, and get a guidebook of Britain (your area) and GO ON TOURS and ENJOY the BEAUTY that is around you.

Don;t leave Britain yet (just my suggestion) -- you will have plenty of normal stress just moving to another country -- why add to the stress you have been under already?

you have suffered for far too long. Suffering is terrible and hurtful and you never forget it BUT it is NOT mankind's lot in life.

Two books that helped me ENORMOUSLY--
The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale
and
"You can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay.

Bless you my fellow human-- you are greater than ANY evil which can befall you!. Stay good-- spread the love -- be kind -- kindness is a million times more powerful and healing than anger or hurting someone.

Answer 9

I dunno I guess it effects people in different ways. I have a friend who was sexually abused as a child. He has depression, is on medication and seeing a therapist but he seems to be doing ok for him self. He has a fiance and her kids are like his own. He is very caring a guy and always wants to help people. I haven't had anything like what you have had but had a difficult life as a kid. Did not enjoy school either and had family problems. I do feel angry about it sometimes but am dealing with it with the Emotional Freedom Technique I have been trying and things have been getting a lot better. I think it is possible for you to build a new life and feel better again but you got to put some effort in to it. If you are interested I could ask my friend who helps with EFT over the internet. He is a therapist in the US but he helps people online for free. He has helped me and a few of my friends and the EFT had been able to clear a lot of negative emotions about bad memories, issues etc very quickly. If you are interested send me a message and I'll ask him if he can help you and maybe you can talk to him by email or IM.

Answer 10

well you are right, there are others who have it worse and still find a way to make a life for themselves. The first step is acknowledging your responsibility to yourself. Stop blaming the world at large and realize that whatever choices you make will determine the results you will receive. And moving out of your country will not change this. Just try coming to America, you think you got beat up bad in the UK. Americans can be even worse! You don't have to wait for therapy to start looking in the mirror and asking yourself--do I want to remain a victim without control over anything in my life or do I want to become a survivor and start taking control? then figure out why you think the way you do...look deep and really think about it. Because the answers are there, but you may not like to hear them anymore than you want to actually move on with your life and stop being a victim...

Answer 11

Sorry...Now I have more details and it's been hard for you...But you can still turn things around if you give it a try. It's no good living in the past.
Get help, get well, save some money and leave the UK if it will make you happier.
Good luck