I am having 5 bridesmaids, his 3 sisters, and my 2 sisters. As he needs to choose 5 groomsmen he is having trouble. I asked him to have my brother, and he refused. I dont see why because i am having his 3 sisters. He doesnt even know 5 people who are close to him. I am pretty upset about it because its just 1 person out of five, he could at least have some respect as i am having his sisters?
2007-07-18 16:36:20 · 14 answers · asked by Missy84 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just another thing, he has a perfect relationship with my brother, no arguments, disagreements etc..none of it!
2007-07-18 16:42:34 · update #1
He told me he wont have my brother because i should not choose who he has in his groomsmen. He wants to have random friends who he doesnt even speak to over my brother.
2007-07-18 16:50:16 · update #2
Yeah, there is no reason for your brother not to be in that wedding. If he is the man your are marrying he needs to understand he is marrying your family too and vice versa. I would just tell him, since your family being a part of the wedding party isnt important to him, then his sisters don't really need to be in it either..that way he only has to think of two people. That may sound catty, but he is being childish. If it were me, I would put my foot down.
Addition: Missy, I'd show him these responses and let him see that objective people generally see this as wrong and that others that are at the wedding might also.
2007-07-18 16:43:26 · answer #1 · answered by tired 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to have 5 bridemaids and 5 groomsmen, but I agree that if his sisters are in the wedding then so should your brother. Family always should come first and be included in the wedding party.
If you still come up short, don't worry because you can have 2 bridesmaids walk with 1 groomsmen and it looks fine, you just may need to skip the bridal party dance and go with just the normal first dance and then the dances with the parents.
I definitely suggest you talk to your fiance more about this issue, this should not be an upsetting thing, this should be a happy celebration.
Good luck!
2007-07-18 23:50:05 · answer #2 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your fiance should be more considerate of your feelings. He is right in that he gets to pick the groomsmen, but you didn't tell him to use your brother, you suggested it. Since you are having his 3 sisters as bridesmaids he should be generous enough to have your brother as a groomsman. I think you should talk to him and let him know that you are not trying to be bossy it's just that you really want your brother in the bridal party and since they get along you don't understand his objection. Let him know how much this is hurting you. If that doesn't work then you should seriously have a talk about how decisions will be made in your marriage. I'm not saying he would be controlling, but he might not be as considerate of your feelings in the future.
2007-07-19 01:24:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that your fiance is being selfish. It has always been known that when you have your wedding, you choose both sides of the family to be part of the wedding. It's a way to show your acceptance of belonging and wanting to belong to that family. I think that perhaps your fiance doesn't like you telling him what to do. In that case, sit him down, say in a sincere voice, " You know, I have been thinking about this whole situation with the groomsmen. I know that you would like to choose your own groomsmen, and I am fine with that. However, it would mean a lot to me and my family if you included my brother as a groomsmen..."
2007-07-18 23:56:23 · answer #4 · answered by spontaneousecho 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with him and explain (in the least defensive way possible- as hard as that will be) how important it is that your brother be included in the wedding. I went through something similar with my fiance where he wanted to UNASK my 5 yr old nephew/godson to ask a friend of his who he hasnt spoken to in over a year just because we will be living near him in a month. I managed not to lose my top at the audacity of his question (I patted myself on the back for that one) but we worked out that since my nephew is young, he'll have 5 groomsmen and a ring bearer and there will be just 5 bridesmaids/jr bridesmaids. My nephew may sit with my parents during the ceremony and then walk out with my MOH (his mom). Good luck!
2007-07-19 06:15:12 · answer #5 · answered by Margaret 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he and your brother have had fist fights or ran each other off the road, your brother should be in the wedding! you are having his THREE sisters! it would be different if he has 6 best friends and he had to make a cut, but he can't even make it to 5!
**you say they have never had a fight, then it makes it more rude! marriage is about compromise and he needs to start doing that now.
*** that is just rude then. you were trying to bring everyone together as a family and he rather pick barely friends. -___- it is true he does get to pick his groomsmen, but if he does not have ANY close friends, he is just a big pain in the butt and a baby.
2007-07-18 23:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by Christina V 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I just think you should be consistent. If his sisters are your Bridesmaids, then your brother should be his attendant. IF he really doesn't want your bro, then don't have his sisters. Has he said WHY he doesn't want your bro? You don't NEED 5 on each side, by the way. It's your wedding, do whatever you want.
2007-07-18 23:49:39 · answer #7 · answered by SHSHSH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I totally agree with you, if you already asked his sisters that is too bad, you guys should have worked this out before. If he doesn't have a good reason to strongly dislike your brother, he should definitely compromise on this. Frankly if he doesn't I would be worried about how this marriage is going to be, if it's a stubborn controlling thing, Look out! Good luck, I hope he sees the reason in this!
2007-07-18 23:43:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has a point, unless he told you to make his sisters part of the wedding you have no right to tell him to use your brother, asking him is fine but ultimatley the groomsmen are his job.
2007-07-19 10:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by jamitha99 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why five, you said he doesn't know 5 people close enough to him. Don't you think this is a little unfair. Yes those people might want to be bridesmaids, but consider this its not about them, its about having both you and your fiance happy. I don't understand why brides get all bent out of shape, and don't consider the thoughts of the groom. Its his wedding too, if he can't come up with 5 that he is comfortable with, then take into consideration that you don't need 5.
2007-07-18 23:42:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋