My best friend and I like each other. We made love on my birthday and then I slept with another guy!!!!! HELP!

Question

I thought my friend and I sleeping together was a one-time thing because he said we're "just friends"and it was a "birthday gift."The next day, I felt rotten because I really have feelings for him and I thought I was being led on just to be hurt for the thousandth time. So, my ex called me, and I used to be very attracted to him and I was tempted by the devil and I slept with him!!! I wish I didn't because he is a user and not worth my time. I love guy #1 and he says he forgives me, will always love me, and will always be my best friend but he doesn't know if he can trust me! How do you gain someone's trust back? I've never had this problem before. He actually considered us being in a relationship! I DIDNT KNOW THIS! I don't know what to do because I absolutely love him! How can I show him how sorry I am, how much he means to me? I've completely cut off guy #2
Please email me with any questions if this question/ situation isn't very clear. I will write you back! PLease help me!!!!!!!

Answer 1

My...my...you're in a pickle...Anyway...to answer your question, you can't gain his trust...it's up to him to give you...however, you can show that you are there for him still and wait...that is a gauge of how deep your love is...however, be warned that it could take a long time or even never, so at the end of the day, it is up to you on how much you willing to strive and wait with no guarentee of being together. That is your call.

Answer 2

It's perfectly normal to do this, male or female. Don't think it's out of line. Two things you must do is (a) don't get STDs and (b) don't get pregnant.

Of course if any of your mates found out what you were doing, they would be a bit annoyed, but that's normal too.

Just pick up where you are and go from there. Just remember, if the mate you pick sleeps with others, don't you dare turn into an indignat person, because you did this yourself.

Did this help? Probably not. When you are in the middle of a mess, nothing sounds good. Explain. If the explanation doesn't work, then the person isn't for you just right now. It's better to clear the air in the begining than to lie and back-peddle and cover up more lies and eventually be ruined later.

Just tell all if you are that serious. If it works it works, if it doesn't you would know better next time. Don't sweat it. really.

Answer 3

Sounds like your bestfriend wasn't being very clear and was hoping that maybe you were a mind reader.

Don't worry about your ex, it's done and over with... try an focus on what you want with your bestfriend...

Do you really love him? If you were to have a relationship and broke up then maybe the friendship wouldn't be the same... well after sleeping with him the friendship has for sure changed..
If you really want a relationship with him then you need to talk to him... tell him that you want to be more than friends... tell him that you didn't know he wanted more... communication is the best thing for relationships... when you can communicate with each other then trust will follow... just be honest and open.

Don't dwell on the ex.. the last thing he wants to hear is you talk about the ex anymore... tell him it was a huge mistake and it's in the past and leave it at that... stay in the future... don't bring it back up

But just think about what you really want... because if things don't work out then you will lose a partner and a bestfriend.

good luck darl

Answer 4

I assume you told your main man that you slipped. That is an important step in getting back his trust, admitting that you made a mistake. After that it is going to take some time and he will always have a slight suspicion. The longer you are true to him and give him reasons to trust you then the lower will be his suspicion level.

Also you should make it a point to never see your other friend again, unless your current boy friend is present. You must never let yourself be put into a situation where you are alone with him. If you aren't alone with him then you can't sin with him.

Trust is very important in a relationship and one way to establish that trust is to never give your partner a reason to distrust you. Tell him who you were with and if you go out, even if you just met a guy and talked with him. He might not like it, but you can tell him that you are being as honest as possible and you are offering him full disclosure. At some point he will get sick of your full disclosure and then he will trust you more. Only mention the important events, like lunch with, or I had a long talk with, I went somewhere with... It doesn't matter if you saw a guy in a crowd and never spoke or if you just said hi. Also if you had another friend, preferable a girlfriend with you then it it going to make it harder for you to make that mistake again.

Answer 5

ok...best thing to do right now is take a deep breath, count to 10, and look at the situation from guy #1's perspective and understand that he needs a bit of time to heal. BUT DON"T RUN AWAY. be there with him...if you two really care for each other, the trust will come back...don't smother him, don't beg for forgiveness and to be trusted again. just love him and ask for the same in return. in the end, everything will work out

Answer 6

First get some self respect! Because it's not a good look to be so promiscuous back to back. I know it's harsh to hear but too many women are giving it up! That's why guys treat women like whores. I'm not a prude, but have some discretion when it comes to your temple. You deserve the best. Also, your best friend turned one night stand is playing mind games. He knows your weaknesses and he's exploiting them. Under the guise of friendship he's getting a two for one. A confidante and part-time booty call. The term know as "friends with benefits" comes to mind.

Answer 7

You and guy #1 need to sit and talk one on one to each other and you need to tell him you didnt know that you were in a relationship with him because he said it was a gift he has to be more specific next time and that you really care for him and tell him the other guy is out of the picture. Tell him you want to start over and if he wants to be in a relationship with you then to be up front about it and not to keep you guessing.

Answer 8

Oh sweetheart, I wouldn't worry a thing about it. If the guy number one totally knows the situation, then I am sure that he will eventually understand that you had no intentions of hurting him in the first place. Just know that if it is meant to happen between you two, then it will totally happen. He sounds like a pretty understanding guy for you to feel open enough to tell him what happened, I am sure if you give him a few days and let him calm down everything will be just fine. Just make sure to tell him how much he means to you, and things will work themselves out. :-) Hope it works out for you two.

Answer 9

I don't think you are a whore and I gave Jason the thumbs down!

You were sent mixed messeges and did the best you could on the 411 you had. Guy 1 needs to come on and be your boyfriend. Tell him you decided to keep the present! Ask him if he can forget the slip up under the dircumstances.

But you've got to remember what WHEN HARRY MET SALLY taught us...guys and girls can never be "just friends"! He wanted to be friends with benefits...but couldn't tell you.

Don't let him have all the power...like 1) please forgive me! 2) or him saying...I don't want to date you. You state you point and if he wants to be an a s s ----forget him. You deserve to be treated well. It's up to him to be good to you!

Answer 10

It is time you start doing what you know is the thing to do and not be a pushover for guys. I can see you having problems with the new guy over the trust issue. You need to win his trust to make the relationship last.

I wish the best. If i can be of more help or give specific advise please feel freeto email me.