this is so serious!!?

Question

ok..well first of all im 13 sister is 19 7 month yo girl and 3 months pregnant again with another...and the bf is a total loser, trash and just plain ghetto, and so my other sister who is 25 acts like shes so perfect,and she is ALWAYS critisizing my other sister because shes pregnant again but my sister the 19yo is getting married to that guy, mostly because shes pregnant again, well anyways my 19yo sister told me tonight...that about 2 years ago she (my 25yo sister) had an abortion....and everybody in my family knew but me!! this is so hard..we were NEVER ever ever raised like that!!! and my 25yo sister is calling her immature and iresponsible..when SHE HAD AN ABORTION..atleast my other sister is taking care of her kids and not dealing with adoption or abortion..i mean right?

sorry this was so long!!

ok but in my family we dont do abortion..its WRONG! ur killing somebody why would u kill somebody!?!? and its just hard for me to deal with

Answer 1

abortion isn't something a family does or does not do. Chances are that kids will have the same moral beliefs as their parents, but everyone is their own person and has a right to their own beliefs. If your 19 year old sister wants to keep her baby and that is the right thing for her, that's great for her. If not keeping her baby was the right thing for your 25 year old sister that's great for her. I'm sure she learned from her mistake (the unplanned pregnancy, not the abortion) and won't let it happen again.

While I don't think your oldest sister should be judging your other sister for her decisions my guess, based on what you said, is that she also doesn't approve of the boyfriend and is trying to be protective (and perhaps not expressing it in the best way).

Answer 2

Sweetie, right now you're young and you until you've been in that type of situation, you can't truthfully say what you would really do. For one, you don't know if the 19yo sister is actually telling you the truth or if she is just spreading a horrible lie about her sister because she's sick of hearing her say how perfect she is! The only way to know is to talk with your mom or your 25yo sister about it. While you may not agree with what your sister did, it doesn't make her a monster - she's still your sister and worthy of your love. If anything, she is perhaps just as hurt inside as everyone else. She's the one who has to carry that guilt for the rest of her life....that's no easy task. So give her a break - it's not like she can go back in time and change it. It sounds like neither one of your sisters is very mature or good about THINKING THROUGH THEIR ACTIONS before doing them or neither one of them would've been in that predicament. The only thing YOU can do at this point is LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES sweetie - please don't go on to do the same thing. Sex is not just about pleaseure - there are REAL consequences, serious ones....and until you're ready to accept those, don't do it!

Answer 3

I'm sure you know, abortion is a very touchy subject. I was 18 when I had my first child and 22 when I had my second. With my first child my mother told me that I needed to think about my options (I was raised Catholic, as far I knew I didn't have any options) I then came to find out that 2 years after my mother had me (at 17) she had an abortion. It's tough. Especially when everyone knew but you but people are who they are and you couldn't change that no matter how hard you try. Love your sisters for who they are and respect them (even if you don't agree) for what they have gone through and who they have become. Even though you realize what your 25 y/o sister is saying, she might not. You couldn't possibly know what is going through her head and if you call her out on it then it might not end up well for you. Just relax. Your sisters can handle themselves, loser boyfriends and all. Good Luck ;)

Answer 4

I hate people like that. But some people have abortions for the best of that unborn child. And your sister is getting married to this guy for the best of that unborn child she is caring in her tummy so what it the problem with your 25yr old sister I don't know. But I do know that she can suck a fort out of your 19yr old sister *** because she is brave enough to have that baby not like her.

Answer 5

well it sounds like you are mature for your age. Welcome to the real world, even family members are not what they seem. We love our family because of who they are not what they do!
Love them both but you need to address your 25 yr old sister and let her know hypocrisy is much worse than having an abortion. though I agree with you that it is murder, all sin is forgivable. So forgive her in your heart before you talk to her and let her know how much you respect you 19 yr old sister for not choosing to hide her sin and letting a blessing come out from making a mistake. the 25 yr old got some growing up to do but condemnation and guilt is not the answer either.
She needs to forgive herself and allow God to heal her obvious pain. Love them both and learn from their mistakes. You dont need a three-peat. Be wise.

Answer 6

what is good for one person is not good for another. i think that having multiple children by a guy that is a "loser, trash, and just plain ghetto" is irresponsible. don't you think? more than likely your sister is going to end up on every government program there is. but ultimately it's none of your 25 yo sister's business.

Answer 7

janicajayne had the perfect answer.

Plus, the 25 yo sister maybe criticizing everything because she has been criticised . And for what? For doing the right thing! Abortion!

Answer 8

Is it better to keep children you cannot afford, raise them in poverty, and teach them the wrong things, so they can grow up and do the exact same thing?

or is it better to take responsibility, realize you messed up and that you aren't ready, have an abortion, and then live responsibly the rest of your life the right way?

Answer 9

Then tell her so. Tell your oldest sister that your other sister may have gotten pregnant, but at least she knows how to take responsibility for her F*** ups.

Answer 10

what's the question? is abortion right? that is up to the person. perhaps she knew she was not ready to raise a child. it is a personal choice and you should not judge. perhaps this is why you were not told.