I've been friends with this guy for about 7 or 8 years now. It got physical (wink wink) in the last 3 years, we'd be together for a night, and then never talk about it again until we saw eachother again, and then it's the same thing all over again. I don't want to date him, I don't want everything to be this awkward...is it just going to be awkward forever or is there a way to talk about this rationally?
2007-07-18 15:39:16 · 31 answers · asked by Abbey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give it some time. I used to have a friend who was very "close" to me. I must admit that when you cross the line once, it takes a while for you to get over it. You feel as though you've exposed yourself to the other person and will feel vulnerable somewhat. Only time will erase the awkwardness. Until then, don't take the relationship for more than what it is.
2007-07-18 15:43:50 · answer #1 · answered by Giant Donut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it may be awkward, it's obviously making you even more awkward being around him after having been his "friend with benefits."
Whatever you do, though, if you don't want the "benefits" side to continue, do NOT meet with him in a private place. Try a public place - Starbucks, Food Court, McDonalds... Etc.
Let him know - firmly - that you are not comfortable with your relationship as it is. Is he someone you want to continue being just plain ol' friends with? Yes or no, let him know. Be clear and straightforward. Don't explain any farther than "It's not you - it's me," if he's looking for something more with those benefits.
Here's why you need to do this in a public space: He can't attempt to weaken your resolve by romancing you back into the bed. Too many people. No bed.
Good luck! If there's anything that I wasn't clear on explaining, just let me know!
2007-07-18 15:48:42 · answer #2 · answered by dustytheenglishteacher 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
consider what type of guy this is is depending on how you will have to handle it!!since you were friends first then tell him the truth that you want to remain friends and nothing more but you not ok with the awarkness that you fell around him since your last interaction with him that you understand the their is a sexual connection but that isn't what you are looking for [ or maybe it is] but if you don't find a way to talk to him about it the the awkardness will not go away due to it being a unsolved problem with this guy and that you need to let him know that you are fine as friend but maybe not so much anything else
2007-07-18 15:50:29 · answer #3 · answered by lilbluemaninmyhead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex always changes things. Girls tend to get attached while guys tend to get jealous. It's really doubtful that it can be the same at it once was but, then again, that may not be a bad thing. If you're both mature, this can add something to your relationship. But in order for you guys to be friends again, the sex has to stop and you're both going to have to be patient as the feelings of attachment and jealousy tend to take a while to filter out. Good luck.
2007-07-18 15:46:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your both past the age of consent and adults if it's been 7 or 8 years since your first experience with each other. Why not act like adults and discuss the relationship that you have currently and see if this is all you both want from each other in a relationship.
2007-07-18 15:45:26 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
clearly its spontaneous and not planned. You both have a friendship that doesnt revolve or involve sex. If you want to keep the friendship, dont go down that path again. If you intend to discuss the REAL thing,,,,dating,,,, then talk about it and see if there is a mutual decision. If you cant talk then the communication in the friendship is not very strong. If you or he is embarassed that it happened, then it probably should not happen again.
2007-07-18 15:44:45 · answer #6 · answered by nightlightview 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should set down the two of you and talk about the feeling that you are having and see if he feels the same way.
if you all keep having sex feelings going to get involved, and you said you don't want to date him. it seems like yall are just having fun with each other, that is good if you want it that way but trust deeper feelings will come and if it's not from you it will come from him, then you will have a problem. talk things over with him and let him know how you feel before it's to late.
2007-07-18 15:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by kirk b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothin' quite like just jumping in and talkin' about it. It could be that you are both in agreement that you are nothing but sleepover pals whenever you want it or need it. You won't know what he is thinking until you ask him.
The awkwardness between you could be dissolved the second you just say it "so, this is totally awkward...." and go from there.
What would you want to say to him? What do you want him to say to you?
If you know the answers to those questions then go ask him or tell him.
2007-07-18 15:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by www.stephaniehardwick.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I trhink you better stop what you are doing then. You have all the power in this situation. If you dont like him, then why are you being intimate with him? And vice versa. Now if you really love him or like him then you need to talk to him and expalin how you feel. Ask him what he wants from you? Is it just sex or more?
2007-07-18 16:01:40 · answer #9 · answered by 35yrfoolinlovewitha25yrold 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he is your f u ck friends, so as long no one gets too attach, it shouldn't be awkward, but if it does get to that point, then you shouldn't have f uc k with him in the first place.
Why do you feel it is the same thing over again every time you are with him, simple. You are his F U CK buddy. He knows that he can use you for that and is going to take advantage of that. Can I write "duh!" Hahahaha. . . .
2007-07-18 15:51:12 · answer #10 · answered by fallenxangel2o9 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋