Alright listen I am a grade 11 student and i am 16 years old and like most people of my age I have settled in my own group of friends. I have about 12 or 13 close friends who i usually hang around however there is this girl that I hangout with all the time that i have feelings for. Under normal circumstances I would ask her out in a second but its different. Two of my close friends have asked her out but have been rejected and if I do ask her out and it doesn't work out it could ruin the friendship we have. I have asked many people what I should do but their solutions just don't work for me. Can someone give me a piece of advice.
2007-07-18 15:33:19 · 29 answers · asked by Kevin T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Shes sending out random signals.... at one party she comes up and kisses me and then afterwards she says she cant imagine dating anyone in our group. We work 2gether and flirt all the time but she said she cant imagine dating anyone in our group of friends is she playing with me or what
2007-07-18 15:50:37 · update #1
There is an idiom that goes: "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." Life isn't always free of risk but sometimes you have to put it on the line in order to get anywhere. I had a friend (female) back in my high school days that I wanted to ask out but didn't because my best friend liked her. My buddy never did move beyond being friends with her though and never did have the nerve to ask her out himself. I found out from her 20 years later that she was dying to go out with me and was dropping hints for me to ask her. I was just too dumb to see the I guess. Although I sometimes wonder what might have happened if I had dated her, I don't regret standing back so that he could have a shot at her.
It sounds like your situation is a little different. Your friends have asked her out and she told them no. I don't know why any of them would have a problem with you dating her. It would be kinda juvenile if they did. All you can do is to talk to her one on one and see how she feels. Don't try to be the cool guy with her either, just be yourself and be honest. Having a lady who is a friend first is the best case scenario for a relationship in my book.
Tell you what man, at age 42 I can look back on a lot of things that I could have done if I'd just had the guts to try. Don't be one who looks back with regrets or questions over what could have been. Good luck!
2007-07-18 16:14:27 · answer #1 · answered by M P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she rejected your other friends, it does not mean she will reject you. Who knows she may feel the same way you do. My advice before you ask her out find out how she feel first. You can do that by not asking her but put her in a situation where she would let you know if she interested. What I mean is ask her to go hang out as friends such as, go eat, to the mall,bowling, or a movie. You can ay something like " I a\like bowling and none of the guys never want to go I can use some company, would you like to"? If she say yes then be a gentleman to her while bowling and get to know her without disclosing your feelings and if she like you she will let you know. Also it may take more than one time to take her out
2007-07-18 15:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by Diamond88 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question to you is why ask her out? You are hanging out together already. Maybe she rejected the other guys because she just likes them as friends. I do remember a guy really liking me in high school and i never knew until about 5 years after I left school and meup with him again at a party. We hung out in a group, but he never had the guts to ask me :( so I never knew. Has she shown a little more interest in you then the other guys? I would watch out for things like that to see if she is even interested in becoming more than friends
2007-07-18 15:38:29 · answer #3 · answered by MMMomma C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting out of the friend zone is a tough thing to accomplish. Sure, I've done it, but when we were done, yea we talked, but our friendship wasn't restored to what it used to be. So before you even decide on making a move, think about if you really want to put your friendship in jeopardy especially when there's so many other girls around...at least that's what I'm assuming.
If you really do want a relationship though, remember not to pressure her into anything, and slowly, but gradually stop treating her like a friend, but like someone she could see herself with. In order for me to tell you the whole process, I would have to type up a storm, so if you need any info on how to do that, contact me.
2007-07-18 15:42:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kevin,
if this girl is a true friend of yours than u should be able to work things out alright without anything being too awkward...honestly guys have a huge struggle with a fear of regection....i am completely 100% sincere when i say that she will respect u, and possible like u for the simple fact of what guts it would take on ur part....i think u should just be careful how u present urself....not come to her with this too cool attitude...go for a quite walk together and tell her how u feel....lay it out there...
2007-07-18 15:40:50 · answer #5 · answered by christian_schoolgirl23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well then you have to decide if you are willing to lose her friendship. You say that you really like her but does she really
like you. If you really want to know the answer and doesn't want to lose her as a friend, I would suggest that you be honest with her. Simply tell her that you would like to take her on a date, but that with what happened to your 2 other friends, that if it doesn't work out you wouldn't want to lose her as a friend. I'm sure that she will appreciate your honesty, and instead of going on a date, stressed, then maybe you would be enjoying yourself.
I hope this helped.
Good luck
2007-07-18 15:49:37 · answer #6 · answered by johanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to go for all or nothing. Ask her if she'd like to hang out at
______place you'd think both of you would have fun______
Watch her body language. If she seems receptive, go from there, have a good time, and step things up gradually. If she isn't try again some time in the future, and if you get the same kind of response, leave it alone.
2007-07-18 15:38:14 · answer #7 · answered by Ace 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when your friends were rejected, did that ruin their friendship with her? if it did, you might want to reconsider. if it didn't- go for it.. i'm a girl the same age as you and i know the only way i would ruin a friendship with a close guy friend is if we went out and had a terrible breakup-- sooo it depends. think about the girls personality and her last boyfriends- how have they ended up?
2007-07-18 15:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just stay friends for a while. After high school, things often change...a good friend of mine got married right out of high school to her high school sweetheart (they dated the entire time they were in h.s.), and within a year, they were divorced. Thing is, if you two remain friends after h.s., then maybe there could be a relationship there. Hanging out is the best way to keep it.
2007-07-18 15:38:23 · answer #9 · answered by futureteacher0613 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she declines and it ruins your friendship it is only because you let it. If you like her let her know but also let her know that your friendship is important too and you are cool with it either way. I really like a guy in my group and I finally just came out and asked him. He told me point blank it just wasn't in the cards. We hung out all the time and I just thought for sure...........you know my ego was hurt for awhile and I got over it. We remained friends had allot of great times.......actually became closer friends once the initial opposite sex thing was dealt with and I ended up meeting a great guy and they became friends too!
2007-07-18 15:39:55 · answer #10 · answered by Tereka Bodika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋