My husband and I have lived together by ourselves for over a year now. We recently just took in his 15 yr old son who decided to move out of his mothers house. Problem is, I am so used to all the attention that its hard to pull my husband to me when theres a child who wants his father to constantly play games with him. I understand that he hasnt been around his father much and is trying to make up for lost time, but im having a hard time dealing with it. I love his son greatly and completely understand that situation, but I miss the showers together and cuddling in bed watching tv. How can I fit in between them both? I cant seem to get into their games of yughio (however thats spelled) or xbox360. I get tired from work an want the attention from my husband, but its not the same? I love kids, especially his son more than anything..and cant seem to figure out how to deal?
2007-07-18 15:10:34 · 6 answers · asked by Mamita 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I try to get into their games, but they play the same thing (especially yughio!) over and over again, and its driving me nuts lol. I never say anything about it, i just deal because i completely understand. We need a way to explain to him what it ment when we got married but I guess im just so used to it being me and my husband that its stressing me....am i just over reacting?
2007-07-18 15:23:23 · update #1
I had the opposite problem, my husband didn't like to share me with my son. Why can't you cuddle in bed and watch TV? My husband and I both believe that in order for children to form a good opinion of what a stable and healthy relationship is, we show affection in front of the kids, i.e. small kisses, hugs, hand holding. Nothing wrong with that. it seems he comes from a broken home, so He probably needs to see what a healthy marriage is all about.
Make "Dates" with your husband and allow the son some time at home alone to do what he wants. Just know that what you feel is okay, but it's what you DO that will make a difference in this young man's life. Why not once a week try some activities with just you and him? A movie, a walk in the mall to the music store. let him teach you something. i don't get into xbox either but I sit and root them on-boring for me but it's good for the kids.
2007-07-18 15:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by Witch Hazel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Become their cheerleader, make sure they have snacks and make sure you watch the clock. A couple of hours into a card game, less if its a video game, your step son needs to have quiet time in his room before bed and you two can find refuge in your bedroom.
Your husband cannot recreate a relationship that was spotty before and you need to make your own needs perfectly clear. Don't pout, you are a grown woman, act like one at all times. Date night with just your husband at least once a week and family date night one other night. Its a good think to let a 15year old see a good healthy relationship where the two adults actually want to be in each others company. Remember, that's not what he saw with his parents. Good luck.
2007-07-18 15:20:12 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to learn how to share him or you will end up losing him or causing severe tension between you and the son.
Why not set aside a certain time for yourself every evening or several times a week and allow them to have their 'father/son time' during the same time?
2007-07-18 15:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
one...schedule some special time for you and your hubby...time that both him and his son will have to respect...it's good for your marriage if you start now...when they have their time, let them be don't interrupt that way when you have your time, as a couple it will be respected as well...
two...make time to spend with the kid...you should find out what things he likes to do or that you both can learn to do...lets the kid know that he is not in the way that he is wanted...lets hubby know that you are really in it for him/with him and you got his back...will show you how fun teen boys can be...create new family things that you can do all together...
2007-07-18 15:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by la21unica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Join in the fun! When your husband and the child play games, ask if they mind if you join in! Why, that would be great fun!
2007-07-18 15:18:54 · answer #5 · answered by franj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yall can still take a bath at night and cuddle wats wrong wit that caz hes got his own room? dosent he?
2007-07-18 15:57:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋