i am a muslim teen, i am not allowed allowed to talk to men on the net and i don't because i am faithful to my religion, but my brother in law comes up and tells my parents to keep their eye on me when ever i'm online because god knows who i am talking to, it hurts so much that he would accuse me of doing this, i could do this behind their backs but i am a faithful person and i never want to do anything wrong, i know there is one person watching me all the time, god.
isn't it wrong for him to accuse me like this? it really does hurt a lot, i'm actually in tears right now, he really knows how to make my life miserable...i feel like i need help, i'm scared my brother in law will drive me crazy, i am depressed everyday and he is to blame, i want to live my life without him i want to live one day without him making me cry, i want to live the life i always dream of, but i know with him around it's all impossible, the most scariest thing to me is that he is going to be here forever...
2007-07-18 14:30:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If I understand your culture correctly, your brother-in-law is afraid you will shame the family. I'm sure he is doing what he feels is right.
Instead of looking at him as someone who is trying to hurt you, look at him as someone that is trying to protect you and your family from shame.
Since you are a good girl, tell your family to feel free to sit beside you while you are on the computer. Let them see you are doing nothing wrong. It may take a while, but eventually they should trust you.
Don't take it personal if he doesn't trust you. He probably doesn't trust anyone. The only person his feelings of mistrust can bother is himself.
Don't give him permission to make you feel bad. We only feel bad if we give others around us permission to make us feel bad.
Take back your feelings. You must give yourself permission to feel good about being a faithful muslum. Continue to be a good girl and don't give your parents reason to believe his fears.
You will get through this. You will grow up to be a fine woman with the help of your parents guidance. Keep praying to God to make you strong in your faith and give you strength to endure your ever doubting brother-in-law.
May God shine his love on you and make you strong.
2007-07-18 15:17:54 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Rut 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A very sick mama dog is an extremely stressful situation. And I understand your anger at some of the answers that you received. It is normal for you to want to vent back to these folks some of your anger and frustration. So, try to remain calm and keep your focus on your dog & pups. Don't let this cloud your true goal - a healthy dog. And yes, I would love to know this outcome. Kudos to you for your quick action in caring for 7 pups! It isn't easy! I wish that more people would realize that there are situations that stump even the best of vets. While the calicum issue is the most common with these symptoms, it is not the only cause. And your dedication to this dog and her pups is very, very admirable. So, you know that you are responding to this crisis in the best manner possible. You are doing all you can do in an extremely difficult situation. Let God sort out the rest. Peace
2016-05-17 05:27:16 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother-in-law might be just warning your parents in general, and not accusing you of doing something wrong......
But you should really talk to your parents directly about this. You could write them a letter, show them this posted question, or talk to them......something like, "You know, Mom and Dad, I felt really hurt the other day when _____ came to you warning you to watch me when I'm online. Does he really think I'm going to be talking to men online? I know that's not allowed, and I know God is watching. I want to obey God's laws, and I don't need ______ to remind me. I just want you to know that."
Your parents are likely to appreciate your sharing your feelings, and to hear your OWN commitment to follow your religion's teachings without a chaperone.
Good for YOU! You should be proud of yourself......I am proud of you!
2007-07-18 14:45:21 · answer #3 · answered by mvm 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Normally I would suggest that you talk to him directly but I appreciate that for a Muslim female this may be difficult.
Have you spoken with your mother about his bullying? Go to her with tears in your eyes. Perhaps your mother will address the problem to your father. After all your father is the head of your family.
Try to give her examples of his bullying and how his actions go against the teaching of the Koran. Remind her that you have been a respectful and dutiful daughter. But his bullying is making your life a nightmare.
Good Luck!
2007-07-18 14:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by Melly 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is a difficult thing to overcome. You must overcome your feelings first. Yur brother in laww is being very rude and disrespectful of you, but you must deal with your reaction to his bad manners. You need to choose not to be offended. You know you are a faithful person and that he is actually lying about you. He has no reason to say what he does and you need to say this in a very non-confrontational way when your family asks you about it. You can say something like, well, that's silly, I never talk to men on the internet. I know myself and my values. You can also relieve much of the anxiety by inviting your parents to read what you write and tell them to whom you write things. Show that you have nothing to be ashamed of.
2007-07-18 14:38:55 · answer #5 · answered by fangtaiyang 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hi..
Maybe your brother in law does what he's not supposed to do..That's why he accuses you of doing wrong..
It's always people who accuse others of doing wrong things, that do it themselves..
Don't let him upset you..God knows you're a good person..and that's what counts..And God sees whatever he's doing as well..
Tell your parents how he upsets you..Let them know how you feel.
There will come a day when you won't have to answer to him..You will be a wonderful, intelligent grown woman..And you won't have to take his nonsense any more..Just be patient..The day will come..
Take care sweet girl..and have a wonderful summer..
:)
2007-07-18 14:46:17 · answer #6 · answered by howdoilvthee 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
When you marry, maybe you will not be so closely around him anymore, so just keep that in mind and just ignore him. Maybe you could get someone to show your parents your message that you have put on here. I'm sure if they seen this they would be very proud of you and might just tell your brother - in - law to mind his own business and leave you alone.
2007-07-18 14:50:14 · answer #7 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
well yea it is wrong for him to accuse you but then agian he could be trying to help but he is trying not to show that he cares guys are really werid that way so for now just take it as he cares for you untill the day he says he hates you (which probably wont happen) then dont take it personally
hope this helps
Selina
2007-07-18 14:35:14 · answer #8 · answered by Selina 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
we all have someone in our lives like your brother in law....but do not allow his comments to define the fine person you have been...do not allow words to prevent you from feeling Gods graces.
2007-07-18 14:36:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
if i were you i would put him in his place let im know that its ot right...i bet you hes just jellous of you cuz your going to end up a way better person than he will ever be so dont let him get to you and keep strong!!
2007-07-18 14:36:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋