I have been with this man for 4 years. We have been engaged twice (He broke it off both time because of mistrust). I have never cheated on him. Recently my father was seriously injured an has been in the hospital for the last 4 weeks. My mother is also not well and I have been caring for her both physically and financially. I am a Mom of 2 boys. I have asked my boyfriend for emotional support because this has all been so overwhelming for me. He has not been supportive, in fact he has withdrawn more. When I ask him why he states, I don't know. I guess because I still have some trust issues with you. I have asked him repeatedly to just stand by my side and help me through this family crisis. His only imput lately has been to tell me I am depressed and should see a psychiatrist. I may be depressed but he is making it worse in my opinion. I think anyone going through what I am would feel down and need a significant others support. Am I right?
2007-07-18 13:15:42 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to end this it is bad enough your parents are needing your help and having a bone head to add to your stress is not even worth it. YOu need to focus more on your family rather than him and since he is not being supportive like a REAL MAN should kick him to the curb you do not need a little boy following behind you you all ready have two who needs you. He is not even worth it. He is just insecure and like they say the guilty on speaks first so he must be the one doing the cheating and putting it off on you so he want feel guilty but let him do his thang and you take care of your family. There are more guys out there who will be very supportive and stand by your side since he does not know how. Hold you head up and stand strong thru this all. PRAY!!!! There si a reason he called them engagements off GOD knew he was not the right one for you and your family he will be sending you the right one soon who will treat you and your family the way your suppose to be treated. KEEP THE FAITH!!!
2007-07-18 13:55:14 · answer #1 · answered by mccallcandy2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are right. You have a lousy boyfriend, and if I were you, I wouldn't waste any more time on this losing relationship.
Number one, a boyfriend should support you, no matter what.
Not do things and say things to hurt your feelings. If he has trust issues with you, and you never did anything to him to think you were nothing but trustworthy, then, the problem lies with him, not you. Perhaps he has had lousy experiences with women, or his mother disappointed him. Whatever the reasons are for his mistrust, they are not your fault, nor can you undo his way of thinking. Those are tough facts that you must face. Think about the kind of relationship you do want, and if it's not with him, then, don't waste another 4 years trying to turn him into something he's not. Good luck to you and your family.
2007-07-18 13:22:40 · answer #2 · answered by Rogue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are right. I think if he has not learned to trust you over the course of 4 years, it likely will not come. You said you did not cheat but his saying he still has some trust issues with you makes me wonder if something else happened to cause this. If not, this is his own insecurity and it is interfering with his ability to be present for you and fully committed. Have you ever questioned why he has these issues? Could it somehow be a reflection of himself? If something did happen to cause this, it can take time to regain trust, and it is in the actions, little by little, that it can be healed. But sometimes it may never be regained.
In the end, trust is so important in a relationship. Even if you trust him and give him no reason not to trust you and he still does not, I don't believe you can have a healthy relationship together.
2007-07-18 13:25:56 · answer #3 · answered by Li 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree and I disagree. He is in a tough position himself, because you are getting all these problems loaded on you and he's under the gun to make the right move. Now, his trust issues for you have to be dignified. If he has any reasons to not trust you, then you do need to listen in on what he has to say. But at the same time, he does need to man up and put his problems behind your own. If there is any type of counseling you need, then look into couple's therapy, because you obviously would need some help raising two kids, and he obviously has some problems with commitment.
2007-07-18 13:21:37 · answer #4 · answered by Ryan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds harsh but you really need to leave him. He's only making it worse for you. I mean your dad is in the hospital and your mom needs help...if he was a real man he would stand by your side and help you through it all, not tell you to go to a psychiatrist. I mean what a jerk! Move on. Find someone who respects you and knows when you need a hug.
I hope your family gets better, and this so called man realizes what he lost when you realize your better then this and move on.
2007-07-26 12:44:16 · answer #5 · answered by Jade_Fer_Sure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you live with this boyfriend? because if you do- he's just that a boyfriend, boyfriends are not required to do all the supporting roles that a husband would do~ Some men just don't have it within to be supportive to a woman, especially if they perceive a woman being strong (emotionally, mentally) . That's what usually makes a man want such a woman. So if his perception of you, is that you're emotionally strong, then don't expect him to support you. He doesn't want, and he doesn't have to-he's not your husband!! So if you feel that you can't take his unsporting behaviors, then this is a no brainier, I would end the relationship!!!
2007-07-18 13:22:09 · answer #6 · answered by babysteppin2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i think you should cuz when you get married you are gona want a guy to be there in every type of trial and if he is not showing it now then he is not going to when you get married and if he keeps breaking off the engagements then that shows that he is scared to make a commitment... you r a mom ot 2 kids you need a man who will take care of youn your kids n he sure does not sound like the irght guy.. i say you should leave and wait for the rite guy who will treat you like the queen..my dad always told me i want you 2 b with a guy who treats you like a queen like i did all your life....
2007-07-18 13:20:56 · answer #7 · answered by ~GodsGuRl~ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweety dump the fool... If he can't show support which is not much to ask for. What ever trust issue he has should not contain him from showing ypu support... Keep your head up.
2007-07-26 11:14:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only made one mistake, not dumping him the first time . . .
Yes you are right you have every right to
your feelings at this time, i mean if he's is doing now can you imaging what he would do if you were married? then think how you'd feel . . .
You came frist to your parents one time not it's there turn to come first to you,
wouldn't you say?
sorry 4 your pain hope all goes well 4u . . .
2007-07-26 10:21:32 · answer #9 · answered by Ben 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell you are right. your bf has what psycologists call (guilt rejection factor). He wants to put all the balme on you and your troubles so he justfies to himself before you that he is not doing anything wrong. he is not a dependable guy. what happens if you fall sick? do you think he will be there for you? change the guy and keep caring for others, he does not deserve u
2007-07-26 07:16:39 · answer #10 · answered by Ed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋