My boyfriend has Atenttion deficit disorder im scared to have children with him??

Question

will they be like him, he had bad grades, barely made it to graduation and now is struggling in a technical college... he is veyr distracted and not very clever . i love him with all my heart but i dont want my children to be like him ... also my brother has ADD too and it makes it worse! im very smart and i want my children to be doctors and important people to the society but im scared!!!!!!!

we have 5yrs together and we are getting married.

Answer 1

First off, you don't have children with someone you are not married to. You can love someone with problems but love can be destroyed by relentless worry, anxiety and fear. If this guy can't make it in school, it isn't too likely that he will be producing the kind of children you are hoping for. Despite what people may say, heredity is not the only factor involved in having a child with ADD or ADHD but I have known too many families with generations of these problems not to give serious weight to the premise that it is at least in part inherited. Environment also plays a part but a chaotic home life isn't conducive to happy kids.
You never know for sure what kind of a child will come to you, but considering the things you have said, I don't think you have a great chance of having the high functioning super motivated kids you want in the present situation.( Not only because of your mates problems, but because you will probably be the one who has to work to support all of you .)Trying to make a highly stimulating and enriching home life for your children while trying to keep a grown man with problems productive, is a lot to take on.
You sound like a smart girl with great aspiration for a wonderful life. Think very carefully before you commit to a life that you know will be harder than it might have to be.

Answer 2

I had adhd however neither of my sisters nor my mother and father had it. I went through a lot of therapy and gradually dropped the "h" and now I just have add not that its much better. However I do not believe it has ever been proven beyond a reasonable doubt that add is inheritive. I would suggest talking with a doctor about information on add or try a library or a book store and get a book on add before completely deciding not to have children. You may end up resenting your husband in the end.

Answer 3

Does the name Albert Einstein ring a bell??? He had ADHD.
First, it is very wise to think about things in marriage before you act. There is nothing wrong with thinking about the future. Second, most scientist agree that ADHD seems to have a genetic component and it is passed down through genes, and boys are more likely to have it.
However, some ADHD kids are often very bright, but with out medication it is hard for them to control all of the stimulus so they become distracted, lose things and don't follow directions. Also they suffer socially so some small minded teachers lower grades for conduct instead of focusing on conduct.
As a mom with an ADHD son, I see both sides of your delimina. He is so bright and quick, moves from thing to thing, but he is an honor roll student who reads and plays sports. I wouldn't have missed him for the world, But he is more work and a challenge. However, medication helps him focus and I made sure I read about successful ways to help him adapt to having ADHD. He isn't alone, about 2-4 kids in EACH of his classes has ADHD.
With your brother having it, you may pass up this man you love and still find yourself with a child with it. You are smart, but your kids could not have ADHD and still not end up as doctors.
Read some things about ADHD from a reputable source.
One last thing, ADHD never travels alone, it always accompanies something-often ODD or autuism or learning disabilities( that may be why your boyfriend may not seem that clever to you)
Good Luck and I promise you, it is work, but I love being Donny's mom.

Answer 4

ADD is genetic and you don't grow out of it. You learn better management skills. I would know... lol. With the right support system, anyone with ADD can be just like everyone else. If he has ADD, there is a good chance that your kids would have ADD; but if you are educated about it then it is no big deal!!! I have ADD and I love the fact that I'm different than everyone else. Also, if you are interested Dr. E. Hallowell has some super books on ADD, I highly recommend them!!! :P

Answer 5

Anything can happen to any child from any family. You always take a chance when having children you just have to decide if your willing to love them and work with them. There is a higher chance that any childern would also suffer from the ADD but they could also not. But I respect your thoughts on this because Bi polar runs in my family and I have decided against kids because I never want my child to live with what me and my father have to....

Answer 6

Have your newborn in case you prefer it and pass returned to stay alongside with your loved ones the place you're alongside with your pals and relatives. they gained't provide up on you and you have each and every of the assist you prefer. you isn't lonely, and in the event that they are all announcing which you may pass away him then they are for sure keen to offer you a hand doing it. he's purely announcing no person else will love you because of the fact he does not prefer you to pass away, such as you stated, he's attempting to make you worried to regulate you. it is not suitable in spite of in case you have a panic affliction, human beings can nonetheless love you. i've got been clinically determined with a sort of psychological ailments consisting of panic affliction and that i'm in an exceptionally loving relationship =) there is often somebody accessible who'll leaf by using that and love you purely the variety you're, not rigidity you to do issues you do not prefer to do :) as quickly as you have gotten each and every thing settled returned alongside with your loved ones then with a bit of luck you will get right into a distinctive college or address a factor time interest till you get standard someplace. x

Answer 7

Your not even married yet so why are you talking about children? Plus, why would you want to marry someone who most likely will continue to struggle throughout life with careers. Be prepared to be the one with the income if you do marry and wear a condom in the mean time.

Answer 8

Well, Natali, you need to dump that loser (for that's how you obviously see him) and find a doctor, lawyer or maybe an Indian Chief. MY ex husband is dyslexic, but he was one of the most intelligent people I knew when it came to numbers and math. One of our sons has Auditory Processing Deficit, but he's one of the most talented artists whose portfolio I was ever privileged to look at. You're scared of how YOU will look with a child who has a "disability"....well, you already have a disability and it's worse than the cancer *I* was born with: you're a social snob. There is NO help for you.

Answer 9

how about making him your husband before you have kiddies,I know,how old fashioned of me,but hey,Im old.ADD is not hereditary,and when children are allowed to be lazy as young children,and allowed to follow that path as they grow older,it is commonly misdiagnosed as ADD.And even if it is ADD,it doesnt mean they would be shoving drugs down their throats every day,alot of ADD can be resolved with behavioral changes,it doesnt mean someone is stupid,or as you put it"not very clever",it means they have a disease.There are several books on the subject,it might help you if you read a couple of them.

Answer 10

ADD is not genetic. You learn it from your environment and people around you. If you nurture your children's' sense of learning and understanding they will develop into wonderful people. You just have to watch how much screen time they have (this means TV, video games, and even cell phone). The items previously mentioned created a whole generation of ADD and ADHD kids. If you show them attention and focus, they will learn that.