Is there specific language that I should put on my wedding invitations to tell people that dinner after the ceremony is optional and at everyone's own cost? (So it doesn't sound tacky.) Most people know already, but I do not want there to be any surprises! Please give advice!
2007-07-18 10:14:06 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
God I cant believe some of the answers on here.
This is a fairly common thing these days, especially for 2nd weddings or ones where the couple have been living together for a long while. It happens a lot here anyway.
If you are going to a restaurant, then I would put something along the lines of "We'd love to have you there to celebrate our special day with us. After the Ceremony we will be dining at (whatever the name of the restaurant is) In lieu of gifts, We would love you to join us there for the meal. Or something like that. I think if you make it clear that you want them to pay for their meal instead of bringing a gift, they will get the idea. You cant expect them to bring gifts if they are paying for their own meal. Some people who are close to you still will tho.
And at least those people who complain because their gift cost more than the meal they got, will have nothing to complain about.
Good luck
2007-07-18 10:53:34 · answer #1 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 4⤊ 7⤋
If you won't do potluck than you will have to simply put on the invites that dinner is to follow at a cost of $25 per guest or whatever it is. There really isn't a non-tacky way to do it.
Throwing a party you can't afford is tacky on prinicpal. If you want a big white reception at a fancy location you need to save. I would highly suggest you switch to a potluck reception and people bring dishes and serve buffet style or do a cake and punch reception. Either that or take money from other things like flowers and put it towards having food for your guests.
A pay-your-own reception is definately going to be a suprise and tacky no matter how you handle it...sorry dear.
2007-07-18 18:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
How are you doing this? Is it in a restaurant? I don't think there's any real way to word this. I'd make some phone calls.
Is there an h'orsdurve (sp. finger food) course? Because at least then you could say please join us after the ceremony at Joe's for h'orsdurves.
Honestly, if you can't provide at least that, then you shouldn't have that size wedding. Just have a small ceremony with a few close people and hold a BBQ or something later. It's not polite to invite people to a wedding and have them pay for their own food.
2007-07-19 10:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by nicolemcg 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Apparently some people have attended some interesting weddings. I have never been to a wedding where you were told to pay for your own meal. It is not common and it is tacky, no matter how you word it. I do not see how you can not afford a little cake and punch and give your guest something.
Whoever said the instead of gifts route is very very wrong. You would be doing two tacky things, bringing up gifts and ask people to pay their own way.
A wedding is a wedding, it is not a normal party. People often have to spend money to get to your special day, perhaps miss work, etc. Then to say pay your own dinner. I feel bad for you people who think this is acceptable.
2007-07-18 18:35:24 · answer #4 · answered by Reality 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
THAT IS TACKY! Do you want them to take the money that they would normally spend a wedding gift to be spent on their dinner. What kind of reception do you have that people have to pay for their meal. No, WAY, you are trying to get a gift without giving anything in return. I have never HEARD OF guests paying for their dinner. Either you have a celebration the next week with just family and friends that can pay for their dinner or let people know that it is only a small private reception for your family.
2007-07-18 20:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by Idon0tknow 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I'm sorry, but I can't imagine sending printed invitations to an event that the "guests" have to pay for. If you can't afford to have a dinner reception, then just have a cake and punch reception after the cermony (schedule the ceremony for early to mid-afternoon so the reception isn't at meal time). Then, family and close friends may choose to go out to dinner afterward as a separate thing. I honestly don't think there's any graceful way to do what you have in mind.
2007-07-18 17:34:03 · answer #6 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 8⤊ 3⤋
This is odd. I think that you are going to offend some people. You may not have been able to provide a meal for everyone after your ceremony, so there shouldn't have been one at all. The reception is so all the people you love can celebrate your union with you. If some of them can't afford to pay for a dinner after buying you a wedding gift, then you are leaving them out. I think you should reconsider your planning.
2007-07-18 17:22:05 · answer #7 · answered by mommyoftwo 3 · 14⤊ 2⤋
i would just have it say ceremony...i really do not mention anything about costs on an invite. you shouldn't invite THAT many people since you can not pay for them so i would assume that your very close friends and family know what is up. they should be the only ones invited if you can not afford a reception.
2007-07-18 17:25:33 · answer #8 · answered by Christina V 7 · 8⤊ 1⤋
If you cannot afford to feed your guests then just do a cake and punch reception. It is just tacky to expect your guests to pay for their own food. There is no way to do this without it being rude and many people with be astounded at your choice to do this.
2007-07-19 03:34:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
!!!!! You don't invite people to a wedding reception and ask them to go Dutch! Talk about tacky. Like someone else said, if you can't afford to serve them dinner, then have punch and cookies afterwards, rescheduled for a non-meal time. At least you checked here first before doing this.
2007-07-18 17:56:10 · answer #10 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 4⤊ 3⤋
I'm kind of surprised that a caterer is going along with this type of dinner. They usually want to know up front how many dinners are going to be needed.
I would really reconsider this option regarding your dinner. It not only sounds tacky, it is. Sorry.
2007-07-18 17:30:53 · answer #11 · answered by Tilly 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋