I am about to graduate college and I started a new job and my boyfriend of 4 years decided to break up with me because he's talk to a girl he works with. We were going to get engaged in October and get married next September. Any advise on how to get over this situation? How do you start over? Should I wait for him to grow up and mature? WHAT DO I DO!?!?
2007-07-18 09:57:56 · 11 answers · asked by faeb15 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh dear.
I think it is just a phase he is going thru'.
Obviously this other girl has confused him and he is probably wondering "what else is out there", particularly in view of that you have been together for so long and you have considered getting married.
I'd back away and give him some time. If he really cares for you he will realise that this fleeting girl-at-work-business means nothing in comparison with someone (you) with whom he has had a 4 year relationship.
Then, he will begin missing you and all that you guys had and he will come back winging, asking for forgiveness and for you to take him back! Then, you can decide how you feel and do you still want to forgive him and be with him again!
So, yes, give him some time to "grow up and mature". If its true love it will prevail!!!
2007-07-18 10:06:11 · answer #1 · answered by confused_kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for this to happen to you. I know it hurts. I would say be thankful that you didn't get engaged or marry this man. Think of how horrible it had been if he had purchased a ring for you or had ordered wedding invitations and you had to go undo it all. What if he had married you and then decided it was a mistake one month later. I know a few people that this happened to.
You can look at this as his being fair to you because he didn't want to lead you on or cheat on you. At least he cared about you that much. Some guys are not so caring.
I know you feel like a rug has been ripped out from under you but try to spend time with your friends, family and people who love you. Get involved in activities you enjoy and focus on your new job. There will be alot for you to learn in your new job and perhaps it will take up a lot of your time and you will be able to make some new friends there.
I would not wait on him. Go about your life. He might come back, he might not. If he does come back, you will have to do some soul searching to decide what you need to do. Don't expect him to come back because you might be setting yourself up for more heart break if he never does.
There is no cure for a broken heart but you can try to learn, be thankful for a few things and move on. I know this sounds harsh but I have so been there. I remember how it felt. I almost lost my mind but with the help of the people who loved me I made it through. The best thing is to move on and try to get your self-cofidence back. Good luck.
2007-07-18 10:08:18 · answer #2 · answered by sadgirlinms 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A four year relationship just does not end for no good reason.Unless there is something you haven't mentioned,I will say to sit your boyfriend down and ask him for an explanation---the truth this time.Simply talking to a girl who is your co-worker is not enough of a reason to break off a 4year romance.Even if he decides he does not want to date you anymore, you still deserve a truthful explanation of why and when and who. Believe me there is a who in the picture.While it is also possible he just is not ready for engagement and/or marriage, there is a better way to handle it.In the final analysis, you may have to say good bye to this guy and move on with your life. If that proves to be the case, say your goodbye with these words:"your loss is going to be another man's gain"because I am a gem.I wish you tons of luck though.
2007-07-18 10:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 years is a long time, especially when you are younger, and starting over may seem like it's the hardest thing to do, but really it's not. The first few weeks are the hardest, but everyday just gets easier from there. Find new things that you enjoy.... keep yourself busy.... Sometimes when people are so young and have been in a relationship for most of their young adult life, you never really get a chance to discover who "YOU" are.... Find yourself... find things that you love about yourself, and that, my dear, will make your next relationship SOOO much better, and make this one you just had look like a stepping stone.
Don't wait for him to mature... so many people in this society waste their life waiting on someone... No one deserves to have to wait....
Find someone who deserves you, and all you have to offer, and doesn't throw you aside because someone else peaks their interest.
Enjoy dating, it can be fun!
Good luck!
2007-07-18 10:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry i know how you feel...most guys do that for some reason they need a break when they come across some cute females...don't wait for him move on with your life bc u don't know how long it will take him to mature..he is interested in the girls at his work if he is willing to leave a 4yr relationship over that..keep yourself busy and hang out with friends or family to help you..break ups are not easy
2007-07-18 10:03:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're young; enjoy it. This is a chance for you to set your own direction. Explore the world. Finish college and get a job wherever you want to. You wont have anyone to answer to.
Cut yourself loose, don't plan anything based on him.
My advice to get over it is to keep yourself busy. As well, make plans to keep yourself entertained. And always remember you will find someone else to make you happy. Be patient and teach yourself to be comfortable while not having a boyfriend.
You are strong on your own; just tell yourself that.
2007-07-18 10:09:55 · answer #6 · answered by ziggurat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, if the guy your with was unfaithful, then it's best that you move on. my friends have these problems with their boyfriends cheating all the time. It's better to know that he was a total jerk now instead of after you got engaged and than married. my best medical treatment for a broken heart is a hilarious movie and a load of junk food or hang out with your girlfriends, that always works. anyway good luck, and i hope you feel better soon
2007-07-18 10:12:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lankan Sweetheart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the same situation...only difference is we were engaged. Best thing you can do is move on. I know right now it seems hard but believe me its worth it. Dont waste your time with the why's and what if's. You deserve better.
2007-07-18 10:08:25 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he didn't really love you! move on and make a wish for true love! http://www.themostexpensivewish.com/ ; it's free, it's a good way to get over him and to find again hope! Be confident and optimistic for your future...
2007-07-18 10:13:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on with your life
There are many more fish in the sea.
2007-07-18 10:01:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋