Cutting. I know it is a mentally ill response. I want to know more about the motivation.?

Question

I don't care to hear from any "emo" people out there unless you are being treated by a professional. I don't want to hear from anyone doing this disturbing behavior that it makes you feel better, because other than the negative attention you get, it couldn't possibly.
I DO want to hear from professionals who can explain why this is a coping mechanism for some people who are experiencing emotional difficulties. Please explain. What kind of therapy would be recommended? Are medications necessary? Is such a person that practices that depressed or suffering from some other mental disorder? If so, what? I have an young adult niece without any history of mental disability that started this recently. She isn't seeking attention, attempted to hide the marks high on the forearms.
Serious answers only. No so-called Emos please. I just don't buy that as a lifestyle and think people who call themselves that need professional help.

I am so overwhelmed by the responses. They are so thoughtful and helpful. Thank you all so much! Especially the therapists: Opster, AB and the "researcher" Riptide_71.
I really want to thank "eyehavenomoney" and "M.J. Stoner" too for being brave enough to respond. I'm happy for eyehavenomoney and want to encourage M.J. Stoner to please hold on and try some therapy. No doubt someone out there loves you like my neice is loved by our family.
Thanks to everyone. The first response led me to a website that is also helpful, so I thank you too. For others, here is the site:
http://www.coolnurse.com/self-injury.htm

I was bracing for negative comment. You know Y/A, but today I am both touched and impressed by how warm and helpful this community can be. Thank you.

Answer 1

Here are some excerpts from previous similar questions that I've answered that you may find helpful:

There are multiple reasons why people self-mutilate and each case needs to be explored individually. The most common reason is that it occurs in order to induce a dissociative state and assists people who have been traumatized with achieving a state of emotional numbness and you hear it described as soothing for them. The physiological basis for it stems from the release of endorphins-the brain's natural painkillers-which function much like opiates and dull the experience of emotional pain. Other reasons include the opposite rationale-people who feel numb emotionally and who have shut down will self-mutilate in order to feel something and remember they are alive. Some people, particularly those who are in abusive situations, injure themselves as a way to exert control over when and how the pain is experienced. Others do it for self-punishment and feel relief from guilt or shame and see the letting of blood as a way to purge themselves of guilt. It may be a way of re-enacting and attempting to master early traumatic experiences This often happens during a dissociative state where people are recalling experiences which were traumatizing and they feel a need to punish/purge themselves for what they often mistakenly believe they have done wrong. There are also folks who do it as a way to cope with unrelenting chronic physical pain from other sources as it creates an alternative pain that distracts them from the chronic pain (think of the principle behind how a TENS unit works). In more rare instances it can be a response to psychotic states where folks are responding to command hallucinations or believe they are purging themselves from some evil inside them. There are other less common reasons, depending on the form of self-mutilation (eye enucleation, castration, etc.) that tend to be symbolic in nature. But most commonly it is done in response to increased feelings of tension with which the individual cannot cope and it becomes a way for them to dissociate their emotional pain and achieve an emotional numbing. The goal of treatment is to fully understand the reasons that sustain the behavior and in the latter case (the most common) to help people develop affect tolerance and the ability to cope with and soothe their emotional pain in healthier ways.

Hope this helps explain the myriad reasons and motivations behind self-injury.

Answer 2

I will answer your questions and I am not "emo" as I am old and very educated.

1) Most people do not cut for attention. IN fact, most people try and hide the scars and behaviors.

2) The act of cutting releases endomorphins to the brain. Have you ever been seriously hurt? Most times you don't feel pain because the chemicals released to the brain produce a calming feeling. This is the SAME reaction that cutters get. Eventually, over time, this calming becomes addictive.

3) The best type of therpay is DBT therapy. It involves individual and group therapy and is very intensive. It usually lasts 1-2 years and works. It was developed by Marsha Linman for Borderline Personality Disorder.

4) Medication has two purposes. One is that is calms the high intensity cutter down, so they may not look for that calming that comes from the cutting.
Medication can ALSO be used to block the calming response, therefore preventing the addiction of the "calm" from the cut.

5) Most cutters are either diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Depression.

Answer 3

From an older, wiser, therapy-graduate with a history of depression and trauma.

Here is an answer for you to help understand what may be going on in the mind of the "cutter".
Something offensive has occurred, be it some form of trauma, life changing event, injury, or abuse. The person who has experienced this would give anything to not feel intense "________" (guilt, emotional harm, crime against the body and soul.......)
Feeling damaged by this, and sensing some form of evil or ugliness is within their body -- there is an intense desire to "punish" the body (cutting, vomiting, causing pain, degrading, or sexual acting out, etc........) Somehow there is a belief and a connection made within the mind, when under high stress, that erupts into a time of emotional crisis. During this moment of crisis the person acts on the mental belief that the evil can and will be removed from their body, and that the crisis will be relieved by their (choice form of ) harm, pain, or degrading behavior. The belief that this punishment will be some form of payment for the emotional pain the person is feeling comes out of the unresolved negative feelings this person retains from having been abused or traumatized.

Of course, this is a false belief, no physical means can truly and lastingly remove an emotional pain. And, so, the person does feel some resolve until the next wave of stress comes over them, and they again return to repeat the emotional crisis, seeking relief in the same cyclical manner.

Specific individual therapy, based on Christian faith, assisted me to process the horrific harm done, to come to a peace within myself, and an internal resolve allowing me to live in the positive frame of mind for my future. In short, I have hope, and no longer have the need to punish myself. With the love of God, I am healed.

Answer 4

I'm a student social worker but I'm also a self-harmer.
How do you know that it "couldn't possibly" make someone feel better? It obviously does or people wouldn't do it.

Your niece should see a doctor as she might need anti-depressants and also a therapist or counsellor.
Not everyone who self-harms does have a mental illness, so it would be a good idea to talk to her and find out why she is doing it. If she has just started doing it then hopefully it wont' develop into a long-term issue.

Answer 5

I'm sorry you don't want to hear about the fact that it makes people feel better, because that is the truth. People wouldn't do it unless it felt better than the alternative. I'm a psychotherapist, and I've worked with several people who cut or self-harm in other ways, and always I have found it is nothing whatsoever about getting attention, but about relieving unbearable emotional pain.

For those of us who don't engage in such behaviour, it does seem crazy, but believe me, it's no more crazy than some of the coping mechanisms that others might use - like having countless affairs because one's so afraid of being rejected, for example. People who cut, or burn, themselves are feeling utterly terrible inside. Often they find it hard, if not impossible, to explain or even describe the feeling. This tells me that it probably derives from very early experiences i.e. before the individual learned language. Psychotherapy helps people to engage with their suffering, understand it, work through it, to a place where they feel able to manage without this coping mechanism.

Some people who self-harm might be diagnosed as suffering from borderline personality disorder, but by no means all, and it's crucial to understand that such 'diagnoses' are nothing more than attempts to describe and classify the extremely variable individual psychological suffering of our clients/patients. 'Depression' or 'borderline personality disorder' are not real entities like whooping cough or cancer. A person either does or does not have these conditions. The psychological labels are, as I've said, just attempts to describe and so different mental health professionals might classify an individual under different headings. What is actually important is the individual suffering.

Some people are very sensitive to things as they grow up, from birth onwards, and may experience feeling rejected, misunderstood, badly treated etc even though the parents are perfectly ordinary and decent people. But the EXPERIENCE may be of feeling that things are not OK. Being told that there is nothing to complain about, or that their childhood was fine, only compounds the feeling of agonising suffering by adding a sense of being completely misunderstood. Hence the need for psychotherapy - someone who is willing to hear it as the individual experiences it and through psychological work enable the patient to discover and come to terms with what is happening inside them. It's obviously crucial to find someone who is properly qualified and registered/accredited (i.e. recognised as competent and subject to a stringent code of ethics). I do hope your niece can be helped to enter into psychotherapy.

Answer 6

I want to say first and fore most, I am not emo. I used to cut when I was in my early teens, and for me it wasn't about feeling better. It was an escape from myself and the emotions and stresses running through my head. I have been diagnosed with Bi Polar 2 and depression. My guess is shes doing it to escape the problems running through her head. Physical pain is much easier to deal with than mental pain, and it took alot of years, and alot of scars for me to realize what I was doing to myself. I hope this can be of some help. I am not a "professional", but I do know what it feels like to be in that mental state, also I am currently waiting to be accepted to study human resources so I can help people dealing with the same mental issues that your neice and I share. Anyways I thank you for sharing this with us all and its good to know that someone is looking out for her. Try talking to her but dont push her to hard. She can't be helped until she realizes she needs it and remember that.

Answer 7

I am the mother of "AmazinglyIntelligent's" niece. I wish to thank my sister for bringing this family crisis to the communities attention. I also wish to thank all of you that offered insight, help and hope.

I wish to send a special thanks to the following: "Hope" for reinforcing my feelings that my child needs to know more about the love of God, and the peace that only He can truly give. I wish to thank "AB" and "DreamAngel1983" for their professional wisdom.

Most of all I want to send a very special thank you to "EyeHaveNoMoney". It meant a lot to me to hear your response. I also heard from your message, that there is still hope, that it is not dead or lost for my child.

Please continue your journey and find your way. I tried to send you an email. Sorry I cannot contact you. I will keep you and other youth in my prayers while I pray for my child's deliverance from the stresses in her life.

May all of you with this disease find solace, the love you need, and a life that allows you enough peace to cope with the everyday ups and downs that come your way. Thank you all once again.

Answer 8

I don't classify myself as "Emo" but others might. I'm more "goth" if u had to "label me". In any event cutting is a form of self mutilation. I thought I wasn't a self mutilator b/c I didn't cut myself but i have started myself & hit myself which are other froms of self mutilation. Good luck. I have never cut myself except to try to off myself & lucklily the kife wasn't sharp enough.

Answer 9

See the webpage below for explanation of why people do it and also a healthy alternative to it. People do get benefits from it. It helps distract them from mental depression.

Answer 10

People cut themselves because briefly their physical pain will blot out their emotional pain. She needs professional help immediately.