Mom lives 9 hours away.She has survived many husbands. So now she is calling me alot and telling me the same things over and over. Do I not answer all her calls? I have made suggestions for her so she won't be as lonely. She ignores them. I try to be understanding but now it is getting on my nerves!.Help!(and please be kind) TIA!
2007-07-18 09:06:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well your gonna have to tell her that you can't take it anymore in a nice way, and you have to tell her that your not always gonna be avilable when she needs you, but you also have to understand her loss too.
2007-07-18 09:09:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to realize that your mother will find someone else to call if you dont answer. Surely you have a message machine. Decide what amount of time you wish to give her, then enforce that by saying, 'gotta run now' or changing the subject saying' weve been all over this mom so if theres nothing better we can talk about, I have to go' She doesnt even realize she is doing it so dont worry about it. Just be busy. What is dh?
2007-07-18 11:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered that your mother may have dementia? You need to arrange for a caretaker if you cannot help her yourself. What were your plans for assisting your mother in her old age? Now might be the time.
If not dementia, then I would suggest you think back as to what it must have been like for you mother to have you pulling at her skirts demanding things when you were a baby. Then have some respect and kindness and stop trying to get her to go away. If you don't want a relationship with her, then again, arrange for someone to take care of her.
2007-07-18 09:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess she's lonely. It does sound annoying to be called constantly but older women often have their lives all wrapped up in their men & losing them can be hard. I'm sure youve suggested ways for her to keep busy & meet people. Maybe bite the bullet & invite her to visit for a week. Maybe she just needs to be close to family for a while & get it all out of her system
2007-07-18 09:10:05 · answer #4 · answered by birdie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents do this to me alot and I take mental vacations. I would miss calls and blame it on my carrier or something. I always called every couple of days but it took a long time for them not to be so depended on me. They are only 55 btw. So before I get yelled at my parents are plenty capable of making their own decisions and living their life. I don't mind most of the time but it does get to be a hassle when my mother ticks off her water company or something and I have to call and straighten things out.
2007-07-18 09:10:49 · answer #5 · answered by Lori S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DH? Designated Hitter?
2007-07-18 09:08:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she is your mother, so you should answer your phone everytime she calls. You never know when it will be the last time you get to speak with her. Just keep being suportive of her. I know it may be getting on your nerves but i'm sure she would do the same thing for you if the roles were reversed.
2007-07-18 09:11:24 · answer #7 · answered by Bandit_ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Was your mother there for you when you needed her? I don't know what a dh is but if she needs emotional support, I hope she has someone with a heart to talk to because you ain't it!
2007-07-18 10:04:46 · answer #8 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, thats hard. Try to love her and be humble in the face of what we all will eventually have to go through ourselves. Just keep loving her, try not to pull the rug out.
Good luck!
2007-07-18 09:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bite the bullet and be patient and put yourself in her shoes. She feels that all she has now is you. Don't let her down. Let her vent. So she repeats herself. Grab a coffee. Listen to her. It's the kindest sweetest thing you could do for her.
God bless you.
2007-07-18 09:49:28 · answer #10 · answered by rocken_heimer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋