and me. I left Christianity when I accepted the fact that I'm gay. But there is a big family reunion in a couple weeks and she and I are expected to be there. There are a lot of overzealous ******* in my family and I know they're going to talk down to me for my sexuality or my sister for her religion.
What can I do to defend myself without causing a ruckus?
2007-07-18 08:28:32 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Sybil, our mother doesn't talk to us because of the religion thing. Hardly anyone in our family does.
2007-07-18 08:37:20 · update #1
Someone who cares, she's a Witch because she practices Witchcraft. I'm pretty sure that makes her a Witch.
2007-07-18 08:37:59 · update #2
I am pagan, and i have a fully christian family. I understand what you mean. I would go, if you are comfortable going. If you do not wish to go, don't.
You should concentrate you family ties on the ones you know will accept you for who you are. Same for your sister.
I kept my contact with the ones that would spend time with me casually. I am open and honest with them, without being confrontational. I agree to disagree. It is a hard pill for them to swallow... but that is how it is.
After about a year of spending time with a couple of cousins and keeping with my grandparents, i started to go to the family functions. I still hold hands for the prayer, but i do not bow my head and pray. I hold hands in honor of my family and ancestors. We laugh and talk about our lives. I don't make a production of my pagan life. I am a grove leader and even give workshops in the pagan comunity, but we do not mention that. Most more than likely don't know.
Now I am fully accepted, but it is still a don't ask don't tell situation, and i am fine with that. After all, I just live my life, i don't have to discuss it.
Hope this helps. Just do what makes you comfortable. And you can always quietly leave after you make an appearance.
2007-07-18 08:40:20 · answer #1 · answered by willodrgn 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is to squash this problem the moment it comes up. If someone starts in on either one of you, very politely tell them that you came to the reunion to catch up with the family, not be ridiculed by them. If they can't accept you both for who you are and love you unconditionally, the way that family should, it's probably better that you aren't there. The reunion isn't the place to hash out old grudges.
2007-07-18 08:40:01 · answer #2 · answered by OhKatie! 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why show up? If no one will talk to you, or if they did they spoke ill of your lifestyle, what's the point? You don't have to defend your choices to them. They are probably wanting you to come, so they can jump on you when you arrive. Be who you are, and don't let them berate you for it. If you still feel like going, You could always say that their God made you biologically gay, and if they don't like it, then they should take it up with him!
2007-07-18 09:54:27 · answer #3 · answered by Worzel Gummidge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all I can say is good luck...
You and your sister may just have to separate yourselves from your family. I know it sounds like it would be hard to do, but you may find that you are much freer without all these people looking down on you. And you'll still have each other :)
I wouldn't go if I were you. Make it your first statement to them.
2007-07-18 08:41:21 · answer #4 · answered by Some Lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother getting into an argument with them. If you don't fight with them, they should eventually give up.
You don't have to defend your sexuality, and your sister doesn't have to defend her religion. I take it you're not really close to them anyway, so you sure don't need their validation or their permission or their blessings to live your lives.
All they will do if they DO talk down to you and harass/attack you is show what "good Christians" they are... Be better than that.
2007-07-18 08:39:46 · answer #5 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i'm a Christian and i don't support forcefeeding religion. if you don't believe in God at all and your whole family does, it won't be easy to turn away the over-zealous.
smile and say "thanks for your concern /advice/whatever" and then turn around and walk away without another word. (after a couple of times, they should get the hint)
if they are persistent - remind them that Jesus didn't hound people who rejected Him and you would appreciate if they would follow His example.
if they are nasty about it and get personal - "it's obvious that you don't love me enough to respect my decisions. i think that this conversation is over."
don't think of it as having to "defend" yourself, because that sets up a battle mentality. think of it as you working on your assertiveness skills...
and finally, before you go, talk to those family members who support your choices and ask them to help you out! sometimes it helps for others to run interference...
2007-07-18 08:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by chieko 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them a Christian from Y!A recommends they pray for you two when you're apart, but just enjoy your company at the reunion. I truly hope this helps.
2007-07-18 08:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by Rossonero NorCal SFECU 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
what?? just because u r gay it dont mean u have to leave christianity..please here theres a gay preist!!
for real!
and witch?? lol what r u talking about?
2007-07-18 09:32:03 · answer #8 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would simply say that you have no intention of discussing religion with anyone. Walk out of the room on them if they can't respect your wishes.
2007-07-18 08:32:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldn't go. If you do just tell them to keep it to themselves or you'll leave. I personally don't associate with any of my family that loves me "conditionally"
2007-07-18 08:37:57 · answer #10 · answered by ~Heathen Princess~ 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋