My son is 19 & lives w/ his dad at the moment & has been planning on going to a fairly nice college on a partial football scholarship, but lately has gotten serious w/ this girl & has decided to go to a community college that she is going to (which he will now have to pay out of pocket, but should be cheaper) Anyway, he's been nervous for so long to tell his dad, who has the tendancy to fly off the handle at times, but after arguing w/ him for hours today his dad told him to "go live w/ your mom for a while cuz I'm tired of you shitting on me!" BTW, his dad called him on the phone & asked if he was still going to that college, that's how it finally came up, so the argument was on the phone & now his dad is on his way home. I'm just a little worried, since he has a pretty bad temper. Of course, I'm going to have my son come stay w/ me, but right now I don't have a car or I'd run & get him. Any suggestions?
2007-07-18 08:14:19 · 13 answers · asked by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you feel that he could harm either one of you in any way, leave the house. Call someone if you need to. Unless you live in a very rural area you could walk somewhere.
Have you tried to call him and ask that you sit down as a family in a public place to talk about this?
I don't agree with how angry he has gotten and that is way over the top but I can understand his disappointment. Your son has a scholarship to a college to play football and most likely get a better education than he can receive at any community college and he is throwing it away. He is young and needs to understand what kind of regret he will have in the future for making this decision. These could be the type of regrets that will one day tear apart any kind of relationship that he thinks he will have with this girl.
I hope everything goes OK.
2007-07-18 08:32:16 · answer #1 · answered by Devin's mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what an as*hole father...he should be supportive in anything his son does...i would be on the phone with the son just to make sure nothing happens but if it does you can always call the cops or tell ur son to high tail it outta there...but the dad is kinda right he will find a better girl if he were to go to that school and a better education and its paid for i say dumb move on the kids side because theres girls a dime a dozen at that age...you really should get him to go also though because if he doesnt hes going to be stuck in the same place he is now he should explore and keep and open mind...but f the dad what a jerk
2007-07-18 15:27:01 · answer #2 · answered by R E I G N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All of us as parents think that we know what is best for our kids cause all we want for them is the best and to have things that we didn't have but hes 19 and able to make his own decisions and he knows what he wants and what he wants to do with his life. Community college isn't bad at all he still can get a great paying job. this girl maybe be the "one" and if it is start off on the right foot. As of how do go get him Taxi, bus, relative, his friends, or if his girl has a car call her this could be a great chance to get to know the girl that stole yr sons heart
2007-07-18 15:35:05 · answer #3 · answered by abarnwe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BigM,
I am first sorry to hear of the "hot head" is inable and/or unwilling to understand that his son needs this for his own growth experience and his ability to be independent and successful. Although I too wish he would stay at the scholarship school - he has now made what he believes is his best decision at the moment. From my perspective - afar and as a third party - I wish your son first success, second the ability to improvise, compromise, and adapt as things develop, and third that he accept full responsibility for the decision he has made.
Unfortuneately for the "hot head" in the family this will mean nothing. To say "nothing" to him would imply to his level that you agree - to say "too much" will only add gasoline to the fire within. In the end the best thing may be to say as little as possible but that each statement that is stated by you be on the supportive side of your son. For example, (say your ex's name is Dan) "Dan, our son has made his decision and he needs this experience for his ability to be independent and responsible" or words to that effect and/or similar small one sentence statements that convey only positive elements of your sons choice - his choice - his decision - his results; I for one hope the results and expectations are equal in the end for your son's desires, dreams, and hopes.
Keep collecting his college papers, keep them and his grades available for the good that WILL come out of this. Your ex has nothing to worry about and everything to lose if he loses this opportunity to "trust" that the best independent decision was made.
As always - Best to you my friend!
Gerry :)
2007-07-18 16:35:09 · answer #4 · answered by Gerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. That's a tough situation. I think that if your son is willing to squander his partial scholarship for this girl, he should be willing and responsible enough to handle the consequences himself.
If he is to stay with you, I would suggest charging him rent, making him pay for gas or transportation, etc...
He made a decision, and he needs to assume responsibility for it.
(This answer is coming from an 18-year-old.)
2007-07-18 15:29:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
his dad should not be talking to him like that. if your son wants to go to a community college that is his choice he is 19, if his dad has a problem with that he needs to talk to him instead of yelling and putting him down. his dad should be happy that he's going to college!
2007-07-18 15:21:26 · answer #6 · answered by shan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you think your 19yr wants you to do? This is not a child, he made an adult decision and so then he needs to be a man and stand up for his decision. Tell him to call 911 if his father gets physical.
You need to stay out of this. This is between your son and his father and if you keep bailing him out of the consequences of his actions then he will never grow up.
2007-07-18 15:40:34 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
at least the kid is still going to go to college.
i suggest you get an anger management flyer and mail it to your ex husband... sounds like he could use some therapy.
2007-07-18 15:26:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm sure you probably have a friend or relative with a car that would help you go get him
2007-07-18 15:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by mom of 3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell his father if he harms your son, the fight is on and you fight to win and you're not scared of his sorry *** and will thrive to see him in jail.
2007-07-18 15:26:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋