i had a one night stand with my bosses wife at a party. im about to quit and hate him. should i tell him?

Answer 1

To tell him would serve no purpose except to probably end their marriage and ruin a couple more lives...YOURS is already ruined.

Perhaps you caught the wife at a time of vulnerability or even in a state of intoxication where, if she had her wits about her, would have told you to go j***off instead.

Now you want to reveal a mistake that anyone could make to the husband of your "victim", thereby creating an ugly situation for the boss and his wife that could end up in a divorce that perhaps didn't need to occur.

Let the past be the past...
and stop gloating about your little "conquest".

Answer 2

Whilst I'm sure that there are legitimate reasons you "hate" this guy it seems like a pretty stupid thing to do.
Firstly, it's most likely that you're moving on to a new job, in this case you'll need one or two references and your boss will be able to give you one. Just because you dislike him doesn't mean he will give you a bad reference - in fact he has to be completely unbiased and give his honest opinion of your standard of work.
Secondly, this guy may well try and hit you, or indeed get very angry and have security called on you. So it's not really such a great idea - whatever reputation or friendships you have with other colleagues will be likely to vanish, who wants to be friends with someone who is irrationally violent?
Thirdly, you'll probably ruin her life. If it really was a one night stand and she hasn't done it again then what's the point? You'll simply cause arguments between them, perhaps also divorce or domestic violence - if they have any kids this is even more of a reason. Don't break up a happy family.
Finally, what good is it going to do you overall? Sure, you can brag about how you did it and get him very angry. Perhaps temporarily it will make you feel better - but in the long run you're not going to achieve anything, bar maybe a black eye or a few battle scars.
It seems an incredibly petty and vengeful thing to do. You're moving on with your life so why ruin other peoples?
Hope you'll take this into consideration =]

Answer 3

No.

Sleeping with the boss's wife is about as tacky and disloyal as you can get. If he had any doubts at all about you, you will definitely be letting him know he is much better off without you as an employee.

And good luck getting any kind of reference from the company. At best, they will send the request for a reference back with "We decline to provide a reference for this person" and the potential future employer will think the worst. You will end up flipping burgers at MacDonalds.

Answer 4

If you have a death wish, go ahead. You never know how people are going to react.

Telling him might somehow make you feel good for a short time, but in the long run such vindictive behavior can only be a negative and self-destructive.

I take it you hate the wife too since she would be affected by such an action also.

Just keep your mouth shut.

Answer 5

Heavens no!

Your desire to hurt him does not give you the right to hurt his wife, which the revelation unquestionably would do.

But since you need to vent, when you get home sit down with pen and paper and write out a nasty note to him, full of all the wicked details. Then put it aside. In the morning, read it again, chuckle about it, then shred it. Works like a charm -- TRUST me on this.

Oh, and the advice of several previous answerers was spot-on -- references are important, and there is every chance your current boss may know some of your future colleagues. It turns out that the H.R. director at my current job is very good friends with the C.F.O. at my previous job! It would be very awkward if I had burned a bridge there.

Answer 6

What goes round comes round...are you so sure you want this Karma hanging over your head...In my life, I have found that negative energy and negative Karma are paid back at the rate of 1:10...very bad debt to create...And truthfully, I am not so sure I would want to display my total lack of intelligence...no one who has a life messes with the boss's wife except an idiot..is that how you want to be known?

Answer 7

Do you hate your bosses wife too. Stay away from both of them, sounds like a timebomb. In my opinion, I wouldn't tell him, you never know how people react, i.e. serious bodily injury or death. You are free now without having to look behind your back, that is freedom.

Answer 8

I think u should tell him. F*** his wife because she is a no good cheater and if she has done it with u them she MUST have done it with others. She wants u to tell cause why would she sleep with u, a person who works closely with her husband? So help her out of the marriage she hates and dick ur boss all at the same time! u dont need the ref. right? Lets hope not.

Answer 9

The wife would have marital problems and people would talk about you sleeping with her. Then the boss could try to get revenge for you ruining their marraige. Maybe there would be accusations that you raped her....don't go there!

Answer 10

You could/should tell him only if you don't plan to use your boss as a future reference. If you don't plan to use him, why the hell not? Burn those bridges and rub it in his face real good!

Then again, you never know how he might react to the news. Perhaps it's best you just remain smug & content in the fact in knowing that you got the "best" of him--literally.