Ok, i am a 22 year old virgin. I have been with this guy, he's in his mid 30s for a month or two now. We've fooled around and almost had sex the other night. But I told him I'm a virgin. He wasn't mad at all. I said I'm sorry and he said its not something I should be sorry for.
BUT...he also said he doesn't want to be my first...
I want to have sex with him!! I've never had it before because I just didn't want to, now I do and I cant!
How do I take his response? There is more to our relationship than just sex but I just want to have sex with him. What do I even say to him?
2007-07-18 07:36:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's definitely not that he doesn't want to have sex with you. It's a lot of pressure on a person to be "the first." When my husband and I were dating, I was his first and he was in his mid-twenties and the same with you, just hadn't wanted to with anyone before. I was the same as your bf, just afraid to be someone's first. There's a lot of emotional attachment to that and it's just scary. Also, knowing that you waited this long, adds more pressure because he knows how special you are to him. I wouldn't say he doesn't feel the same about you, he probably is scared of what it means to be someone's first. Also, it hurts most women (not all so don't be scared) the first time so he might be afraid of hurting you when he wants you to feel good.
I would recommend giving him some time to digest your news and see where it goes. If you almost had sex, he obviously wants to so give it a couple of weeks for his desire for you to overcome his fear.
ps, No you really shouldn't be sorry that you're a virgin, he should take it as a compliment
2007-07-18 07:45:10 · answer #1 · answered by iheartbayley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is common. An honorable man will not take your virginity unless he is convinced that this will be a long term relationship. In that case, it would be a huge commitment on his part as it should be on your part. I would just be patient and see where this goes. At some point, if it is the right thing for BOTH of you, it will happen.
My girlfriend of four years was a virgin and I would not take it. She went out with another guy, and then came back to me. That worked. But we did drift apart later.
2007-07-18 14:42:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I think he is just afraid of taking your virginity because for sure no matter how many sexual partners you will have in life you will remember him forever.......and some times some girls tend to be a little bit obnoxious and think that because he took your virginity he is going to be with you FOREVER and that the 2 of you are going to end up in marriage...... also, it might be that he does not want to have sex with you because he does not want to be the one having to teach you everything.Also, I don't think he feels this relationship is worth it. Just ask him why he does not want to be the first and move on, get a guy who does not care if you have slept with 20 or 0, many other guys would be proud of having a girl who has waited that long.....I don't even know how you were capable of waiting that long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-18 14:48:48 · answer #3 · answered by tatys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's taking you as a boy toy :/ but obviously if all he wants is sex, he knows that he's not the right person for you to lose virginity too.
2007-07-18 14:43:01 · answer #4 · answered by Erin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as though this guy is low on self esteem and doesn't believe he can satisfy you in bed although guys do think very highly of themselves when it comes to sex just tell him the truth and how you want him to be your first and he won't know if it is good sex or bad because you don't know yet. tell him and if all goes to plan do it. its an incredible experience.
Good Luck!
2007-07-18 14:46:55 · answer #5 · answered by Simplythebest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't want to be your first because he sees that the relationship isn't going any where! It will come in time, don't rush things! You have waited this long, what's a little bit longer?
2007-07-18 14:42:48 · answer #6 · answered by taurus_lynne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you want him to be your first. If he won't than you might as well break up with him since the two of you will never have sex.
2007-07-18 14:40:46 · answer #7 · answered by Lookin-2-Talk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok the first thing that comes to mind when he says that he doesn't want to be your first is....
he's not going to be sticking around!!!
you've only been seeing him for a month right? why would you want to just give it up that easily?....oh wait, i know, because you can't have it.....people always want what they can't have....just ignore the feeling and remind yourself that you want it to be with someone you're sure is going to be there
2007-07-18 14:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by sxyitlngrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well apparently it will be pain full for you and he does not want to hurt you. Or maybe his intentions are not to be with you for long and he actually has the moral backbone not to score your virginity.
2007-07-18 14:42:11 · answer #9 · answered by Canuck1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not interested in getting committed to you.
If he is your 1st then you will demand of him more.
So he don't want to stick around for long.
His relationship to you is causual with no stings attached.
2007-07-18 14:44:45 · answer #10 · answered by Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋