how can i get him to sleep thru the night?

Question

my son is 15 months old and he still does not sleep thru the night.. it disturbs my days at work because i end up being tired. he only gets up once mind you, but is there anything i can do or give him?
he gets fed before he goes to sleep, but then hes up again at 3:30am!

well he goes to bed anywhere between 9 and 1130... depending on when he wears himself out from playing... i go to bed after him

Answer 1

To get better help with this, please give us some info about his routine/schedule. What time does he go to sleep? What is your (his) bedtime routine, if any? What and when does he eat before bed? When does he wake in the morning?

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For one thing, it sounds as if there is no real routine, and that in general he may be going to bed way too late. While it may be counterintuitive, keeping babies up late(r) does not help them sleep "harder" or for longer periods, or until later in the morning. To the contrary, most parents find that altering the bed time and moving it *up* helps a child sleep better and longer. Sleep is a learned skill, and children who are overtired are generally wired; they may have trouble falling asleep, or trouble staying asleep.

For starters: develop a bedtime routine with your son, and stick with it. It can be very simple -- and in many respects you may already have one. The routine is both what you do, and when you do it. With my twins I started when they were a few months old, and they learn even that young to "anticipate" what's coming next (which also factors into making a baby/toddler feel secure, which certainly can't be irrelevant to the sleep issue.) It's simple. We play the same CD every night, turn down the lights, lotion and massage, PJs, hair combed, etc. We do this every night around 6, and between 6:30 and 7 they have their cup of milk. I read to them, put them in their sleep sacks, and put them in their cribs. By 7:30 they should be in their cribs, lights out, and I'm out of the room then, or a few minutes afterward. The regularity is extremely helpful for children and babies. Going to sleep at 8:00 some nights and 11:00 others is not good for anybody: it's not conducive to good sleep for the baby, it's not "good" for the baby in general, it's not good for you, and if you have a husband/partner around, it's not good for that person or for you own relationship as a couple, either.

You didn't say what happens when he wakes up, but one thing that should not happen is that it should not in any way become play/awake time. If he wakes up and you need to check/change his diaper, the lights should stay off and you should not interact with him. Just do what needs to be done and get out. If he is waking up and wanting to eat/drink....that should not be happening anymore. If it is, give him a few sips of water and not a bottle or the breast, and after a few days or a week of that stop altogether; from a physiological standpoint there is no reason at all for a 15 month old to need feedings overnight, and if this is happening it's an issue of habit rather than need.

Some people feel very strongly in favor of letting a child cry it out and others are very strongly against it, and of course there are numerous different cry-it-out "methods." Even if you're deadset against it, you hopefully no longer feel the need to run into your son the moment he starts crying; if you let him cry for a few minutes before you check on him, and let this period lengthen a bit every night, he may quickly get bored with the whole thing and just sleep through.

Anyway, I'm still curious about the rest of the situation/routine, that is, what happens at bedtime, what time he gets up in the morning, etc.

I highly recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Eric Weisbluth (which I may have mispelled just now). Unlike a lot of other books it doesn't "just" address how to get your infant to fall asleep or to sleep longer, but also addresses specific "problems" with toddlers, etc. Most parents I know have found it incredibly useful, and most of those are parents of twins, which honestly does make the whole sleeping-through-the-night issue exponentially more challenging. So if parents of twins give it a thumbs up, that's a pretty good endorsement, in my book.

ETA About the self soothing ability...how does your son *fall* asleep, at present? If, for example, you rock your son to sleep, then when he does wake up in the middle of the night he may well not be able to get himself back to sleep. When babies rely on external things to get them to sleep in the first place they may have difficulty getting themselves back to sleep when they do, inevitably, awaken in the middle of the night. (Incidentally, waking up in the middle of the night is perfectly normal. Most sleep, in children and adults, in interrupted to one degree or another; the issue is, once awake, can a person get back to sleep, and get back to sleep quickly.) Ideally, your son is "groggy but awake" when you put him in his crib at night. A big change in our house came when both of our children were being put in the cribs groggy but awake; then, when they awaken in the middle of the night, they already know how to put themselves to sleep. Our son was being rocked to sleep for the longest time....the problem was if/when he awakened, he was essentially dependent on that to get to sleep, and didn't know what to do without it. So he fully awakened...and get the rest of us up with him, if you know what I mean!

Answer 2

Try having a routine so he become acustomed to it and put it together that now it is bedtime. Here is what I do with my 4 month old. Around 7:30 he gets dinner....a gerber 1st food. Around 8:30 or 9:00 I start putting him down for the night. We get a fresh diaper, bedtime loition massage, PJ's on, we go turn the lights out together, sit in rocker and we have an 8oz bottle with a teaspoon on cereal in it. After he finishes the bottle I rock him for about 10 mins get him a little groggy but not asleep and then I put him down, give him his pacifier and cover him up. He is then out for 8 sometimes 10 hours. He also takes 2-3 naps during the day usually an hour long. Just try to have a set routine and a set bedtime.

Answer 3

DO NOT GIVE FOOD OR MILK DURRING THE NIGHT. If he MUST have a drink give him small sips of water. ALso it's hard to do, but you really need to step back and let him learn how to soothe himself back to sleep. He HAS to learn to self soothe. Don't take him out of his bed. Take a sippy of water with you, give him a sip of water, lay him back down and say good night then leave his room. Let him cry if he must. It's harder on you than him. Make sure there is a nightlight or soft light somewhere so that it isn't completely dark. You know he is safe, so hold tight to this routine a few nights and he will learn to self soothe.

Answer 4

I know this sounds horrible and cruel as to what I am about to suggest but let me tell you what I think works best (sounds egotistical, doesn't it??). I have a duaghter who slept thorugh the night around six weeks and we never did anything to make this happen. The around the sitting up/crawling age, she got sick for the first time. She got used to the midnight feedings and the walking and loved it! It took us months of trying every recommendation to finally get her to sleep. Now at 630, we put her in the crib and she sleeps for 11 to 11 1/2 hours straight every night. We started a routine which took 2 to 3 nights to sink in. We read the same two or three books (all about Elmo or Elmer or some character going to sleep). We gave her a bath which she just lvoes. PUt lavender baby powder on her tummy. Waved goodnight to a picture of Lilo and Stitch on the wall, and then I walked and sang to her while some soft classical music played for about 5 to 10 minutes at the most. I kissed her, told her I loved her, and put her in the crib with her eyes open. No cries, nothing. Of course, the first few nights it was hell. She cried for 1 hr and 20 minutes, the second night she cried for 30 minutes, and the third night 10 minutes. Sometimes, she cries still for 5 maybe 10 minutes. But she puts herself to sleep and this boosts her confidence and let's her know she can do it, giving her a sense of control over her life without the parent. Am I a genius? No. Dr, Spock's book told me what to do. After I tried everything out there and in every book, I went back to what my parents' read and poof, there was the answer that worked best for me. I know it is hard and you will cry along with your child the first night, but you have to let them know they can do it on their own.

Answer 5

If you're feeding him in the middle of the night, you have to stop. That happened to my older boy, too.... The doctors kept telling me to stop feeding him between midnight and six a.m. IF you give him anything at all, make it plain water.

Another thing you can try is putting him to bed a little later. Some people put their kids to bed at 7 p.m.! If you boy has been asleep for 7 or 8 hours at 3:30 a.m., he's probably legitimately hungry.

Good luck.

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Answer 6

Let him cry. Do not feed, rock, cuddle him when he gets up at this time. I know it sounds harsh, but if he has no reason to get up he will stop getting up. For a lot of little ones, getting up during the night is a learned behavior, not a need.

Give it a try. It may take a few days but he should soon start sleeping through the night.

Good Luck!!

Answer 7

It's a habit now. The only way I got my children to sleep was let them "cry it out". It's hard and will take a few nights but not going in when he wakes up, he will learn to go back to sleep.

Answer 8

you can also use melatonin, out Dr. suggested this to us for our kids, and it usually worked quite well. You get it in with the vitamin supplements at like wal-mart or a grocery store.

Answer 9

I agree, don't pick him up. Let him learn to self soothe.