Am I exaggerating? was this appropriate?

Question

Hi

Hi,

Yesterday i went to see a psychiatrist for the first time. It was a male, which i wasn't very comfortable with due to an incident as a child, which he was vaguely aware off and knew how vulnerable I felt.
Anyway at the end of the tough session, I walked towards the door...he was behind me...then as i went to open the door, I felt his hand grab my shoulder really tightly, he said nothing and I felt stunded, he turned me so i was facing him, he was strong and moved towards me, I backed towards the wall, he still aproached and raised his arms saying nothing, I was so scared and in the spilt second where he said he wanted to give me a hug, I had to shout, "Please dont touch me!"

I was terrified, I had never met this man before and he was aware of my history...it made me very shaken and scared since! I went to tell a friend and she laughed, until I burst into tears!

Am i over exaggerating?
I don't see him next time and i asked for a woman and there apparently isnt1

Answer 1

You are defenitely not exaggerating! It was extremely unappropriate for him to touch you and treat you that way. As a professional, he should not treat his patients that way. It is even more unappropriate that he knew about your past experience, and still proceeded to be so insensitive to your feelings.

Answer 2

As everyone has said, you are certainly not exaggerating or over-reacting. This is quite extraordinarily inappropriate behaviour by the psychiatrist and frankly he should be reported to his professional body. You may not feel able to go through with that, I know, but if you can it would be great - it is really important that he is stopped before he does something more to someone who is less able than you to shout (congratulations on that - must have taken some courage).

I don't know if you're in the UK or the US or somewhere else. If you're in the UK, and you have a GP you can trust, perhaps you can talk to her/him about this. In fact, if you do talk to your GP, s/he may be able to refer you somewhere else where there IS a woman psychiatrist. But even if that isn't possible, rest assured that the majority of male psychiatrists are NOT like this and will respect you and your physical boundaries. It is clearly understood among people who work in the psychological field that physical contact, if ever engaged in (and many would say it NEVER should be) should only be on the initiative of the patient/client and then only in a strictly boundaried way. This is a professional relationship and it is always important to maintain good boundaries.

Whatever you do about this, I really do hope you manage to find the help you need and deserve to get you through your difficulties.

Answer 3

You don't go into detail about the incident as a child, but I assume it has to do with someone in the medical profession mistreating you in some way.
The psychiatrist moving to hug you was probably an attempt to win your trust, but if he was aware of the childhood incident, physical contact does indeed seem inappropriate. Don't feel guilty about your reaction, you were perfectly entitled to respond to his 'advance' the way you did.
It's a sad conclusion we must draw about the state of the health service that there is no female psychiatrist available to treat you.
For what it's worth (some small value it does have) take my very best wishes and a non-physical, distant cyber-hug and remember, it's ok to feel scared sometimes, that's self preservation, you even owe it to yourself.

Answer 4

That was NOT appropriate. I have been with the same doctor (male) and therapist (female) for years and neither of them would ever touch me in any way.

You must have felt trapped and horrified and more.

You should not return to that practice at all - no matter what doctor. If they allow anyone to do this kind of thing they are not for you.

If it is a matter of insurance coverage, call your insurance and tell them that he touched you inappropriately and they will give you a change of office for cause.

It is difficult to find woman doctors in general. But, I can tell you that my phychiatrist is male and I trust him implicitly. All of my other doctors/therapist are female and I like that very much. You just need to find one that is good for you. I went through a few before I found a good one for me.

I am sorry your friend doesn't understand.

Good Luck and stay with your instincts.

Answer 5

As a psychiatrist, he would have been fully aware of how you feel and what you have gone through. I don't think you are exaggerating at all, and i would demand that you see someone else. Explain to the practice manager what happened, and they may not have a woman for you to see, but they will have a more suited man for the job, someone that will be professional. Good luck, and you are not over reacting. x

Answer 6

You felt uncomfortable and your instincts proved spot on. No you are/were not exaggerating he is an idiot who needs to be retrained and the way he behaved he is lucky you didn't kick him in the nuts. I would put in a complaint about him and also a complaint about the service in terms of not having any females this is disgusting and I'm glad you got away, what a tosser!!!! I have a male therapist and he behaves impeccably and from the moment we met i felt comfortable with him and that is how you should feel.

Answer 7

No you aren't exaggerating, no-one has the right to put their hands on you and he should have seen that by your body language you were backing off and backed off himself. In my view he shouldn't go near anyone like that in the first place. I'd have felt the same.

Answer 8

No you are not over exaggerating. You should not go back to this "unprofessional" and possibly worse excuse for a psychiatrist. You could also choose to report this conduct to your states Medical Review Board, I would.

Answer 9

Report him. You were lucky your were able to stand up for yourself, many other women may not be so strong.

No-one in the mental health profession would have physical contact with a client without the client's permission.

Answer 10

no i do think you over reacted you had every right to react the way you did. he had know right to approach you the way he did. first he knew your history and then hes your therapist noway he was wrong. if it were me i would have freaked to .