WHat are your opinions on spanking kids?

Question

Like, would you do it if they did something absolutely positively horrid, like stealing an iPod from Walmart, or calling the cops to a church for no reason whatsoever. Would you do it?


My personal opinion is that you should never, ever, EVER hit your own child, or someone elses kid for that matter. There is no excuse for hitting a child. EVER. People say, "Oh its to make sure they won't do it again, so they'll be afraid." WHAT!?! You want your own child to be afraid of you? Yea that real great.


But I want to hear your opinions.

Answer 1

I have very, very strong opinions on spanking.
It's violent, it's horrid, it's counterproductive, and totally unnecessary.
I'm with you as far as instilling fear in your own child....if I ever for a minute thought my son was afraid of me, I would know without a doubt that I had failed as a parent. I want to instill respect, love, compassion, and empathy in my son, not violence, fear, intimidation or humiliation!! Which is exactly what spanking does.
I cannot imagine what someone is thinking when they look at their own child, one that they created out of love (supposedly) and want to hurt them!! What kind of person does that??? Oh it just makes me sick to think of all the little children out there who are being hurt on a daily basis for "infractions".
I follow pretty closely the spanking questions here on Answers, and I must say I have been shocked time and time again how many people think this is okay, even ENCOURAGE other parents to do it! Some have even pointed out, PROUDLY, that they do it when their child is only "months old" or "smack them on the diaper."
I am continually depressed at the level of "devolution" we as a society of Americans have sunken to. I think that the true mark of a civilization is how we treat our elderly and our children, and unfortunately, what I see is not encouraging.

LET ME ALSO ADD:
I was spanked as a child. I also drank, smoked, did drugs, was promiscuous, and stayed out late. So I saw first hand that it didn't work, it only caused me to resent my parents and disrespect their authority. I felt that by spanking me they were failing to get to the root of what was going on with me.
When a child is little bitty, the spankings only serve to instill fear, which is different from respect. I was terrified of my dad, and now have a very strained relationship with him. My mother told me right before she died that her biggest regret in life was that she had spanked her children. I promised her that if I ever had children (which now I do) I would find better, more productive ways to discipline them.
IMHO, the most civilized societies, Japan being the first that comes to mind, do not believe in spanking their children. Maybe one day the US will "grow up", so to speak, and realize there are better and smarter ways to parent.
I'll bet dollars to donuts, too, that idiot in the White House was spanked as a child, too, and look at him! A war-mongering zealot. No thanks.

Answer 2

For moral matters such as stealing, a :spanking: might be in order for a kid under 10 years of age. Beyond that, search for answers as to why parental teaching and examples have failed to instill good morals in the child.

As for "calling the" police "to a church for no reason whatsoever" ... I think the question that needs to be answered is "WHY?" Also, if the "child" is old enough for the police to really make them realize what "public mischief" means ... Also, most churches need people to manicure the lawns, pick up trash and garbage on the property and around the area, etc. ... let them spend considerable number of hours working around the church (supervised, of course) in the coming weeks.

And, of course, there ARE some times when a kid, especially a teen, might well be given a whacking instead of a grounding or loss of privileges [even though he might prefer the whacking!!!].

Answer 3

there is a difference in spaking and hitting. never never hit a child, hell never hit anyone. spaking is a correction tool that when every thing else false to resort to. if my child stoled something i would have them earn the money of that thing that they stoled. i would take away ALL rewards. pretty cloths,radio,tv, game station, jewlery, free time, i would have them be under adult supervison at all times and they will have to go with me every where and when they are in a store they will keep their hands in their pockets and be searched before leaving the store. embarrass them, they wont ever do it again, or they will get clever and land up in juve or jail. calling the cops is seirous, i think it is even lawfuly punishable. id ask the cop if they would mind putting them in jail or the intrgorgation room so they will learn how wrong that is. people are afraid to disapline their children, and to a degree i agree. some people dont know the limit, some parents lose their cool. you have to think about it this way. the kids are the future. if you end up in the hospital or nursing home will you want some one who is disaplined and knows right from wrong and the consiqueses or do u want some one that would rather get paid seating on their butt rather than making sure you have ur meds, are feed, not hurting, that ur clean. sitting in poo when u r 90 yrs old and can't move, it happens today and may people die becouse of neglet.hell i bet ur kid won't take care of u if ur not careful about how u raise them and imprint responsiblity, nurting, curtisy, in your child today. but it can happen alot more if children are not raised to be adults. wrapped up in a nut shell u r raising an adult, not a child. and if disaplined and loved at the same time the child will not be afraid. there is a diffrence between spank and hit. a slim diffrence but a diffrence none the less. like red and pink. and white to red u get pink. see.

let me also add that i was abused when i was 2yrs old til i was 13 yrs old. i was rebelious, stoled from freinds and family, lied, did drugs, had sex at 13 yrs old and contuniouned to do so. i snuck out at nite, i we unfair to my sisters. then i met my step dad. he only spanked me once. he helped me with my self esteem, i quit drugs, started behaving, join tae kwon do, enlisted in the military. i am now 25. i have been on the extreem end of displine and i now know that spaking is the last resort at a certain age, but should be done when neccicary.

Answer 4

My husband and I are not "spankers" We don't resort to spanking first. In the cases that you mentioned like the stealing from Walmart...In that instance I would (and Have) make my child return the stolen goods and face the consequences. Luckily when my daughter stole from a small store when she was about 5 or so, I made her return the item and and apologize for taking it. I made sure she understood that the lady could call the cops and that they would take her to jail for stealing. The clerk of course said it was no big deal but I said yes it IS a big deal. The embarrssment alone was enough to stop it ever happening again.

The calling cops to church...I'd be making sure my child was doing some penance by volunteering at the church for a week or so.

However, even though my husband and I are not spankers, I'm not saying that kids should not ever be spanked. That's why God gave them extra cushion on their tushy. I work in the school system, and I'm telling you that I've seen kids that come from both extremes. Kids that are never spanked that should be spanked. And kids that are spanked far too often over the smallest infractions. I don't believe that a parent shoud have to be afraid to discipline their child when needed, but I do not condone abuse.

I personally have two daughters, the oldest I was never able to get through to her with reasoning and discussing why she did wrong, so I ended up spanking to get my point through. The younger one, all I have to do is look at her crossly and her world falls apart and she knows she screwed up big time.

Every child is different and Every parent (parenting style) is different. But parents should be able to REASONABLY punish their children.

Answer 5

I want to start by saying I am not "afraid" of my mom but I KNOW what she would do if I did either of the things you said. She will still paddle me for things like that and I am 17. I think I am too old for that but she don't. I wouldn't ever do that but IF I did I would get the spanking of my life. I did steal something from a store ONE time and got the paddling of my life and I have never even THOUGHT about stealing anything else again! Not sure what I would do but I know what my mom would do and I guess I would too if I ever have any kids and they do that!

Answer 6

I Think It is a good last resort. When grounding & other things just don't get there atention. I was spanked as a child by my mom often. Wile my dad was as work she took on the role of the punsher, & i am glad she did, it mad me respect her more. She didn't turn it over to my dad like a lot of mom's try to do. I think as long as it's not done in a abusive way It will stop a Child from acting up. Let's face it what are you going to do when they don't stay in the naughty seat.

Answer 7

I've always believed that there was a time and a place for spanking. I would never spank in anger, though. My daughter knew that what she just did was going to get her '2 spankings' or '3 spankings' whatever level I felt the deed deserved. I would then just spank her butt 2 times, enough to get her attention. Just using my hand, no sticks or spoons! I only had to do this a few times a year and by the time she was 6 I never had to spank her again. Just the mention of the fact that she's might get one was enough to deter her from acting up after that. She's going into college next month and I've not had the FIRST day of trouble from her. NEVER came home late, glassy eyed, smelling funny, dressing sleazy or anything!! She has been the model child and is constantly thanking me for raising her right! (She sees all the troubled teens on Dr. Phil and such.) I really believe kids' butts are there for a reason! Not to beat them, but just remind them who's in charge and what's acceptable and what's not. Just my opinion. Take care.

Answer 8

I think sometimes it is more about the threat or idea of a spanking than the spanking itself.
The bottom line here is consequences.
There are certain circumstances that most definitely call for a swat on the bottom or the hand; that is my belief. Sitting down and attempting to reason with a two-year-old just doesn't fly. Have you tried it?
There are alternatives, of course. Redirection, tone of voice, consistency. The goal is to not get to the point where a spanking is even necessary.

Answer 9

Hitting by causing terrible pain is defenitly not acceptable. if it causes bruising or anything then yes it is defenitly wrong

I think that its okay when they are little. Not like terribly hitting but just a little spank on the bottom with a firm "NO" is okay. When i was little and did something i never got grounded like what white parents do. I was never "sent to my room" cause i mean seriously what does taht do? you sit in your own room and watch tv or play with the toys you alread have in there. Its really quite pointless. I also never had "time outs" i just automatically knew that if i ever did something wrong i would get yelled at and get spanked so i wouldnt do it. Kids need to be corrected for their wrong doing or else you get terrible nasty children that grow up to be ungrateful for all the things they have.

If a kid is doing things like stealing ipods from wal mart than that just means that you didnt do a good job while raising them. You let them have too much freedem and werent assertive enough.

Take the elephant story for example. You have a baby elephant and tie him to a tree stump so that he wont run away. He grows up that way and if he ever tries to leave he knows that he will get spanked and he doesnt like that so he stays there. then one day he is huge and can defenitly have teh strenth to get off that tree stump but he knows that he isnt supposed to do that or he will get spanked so he doesnt do it.

Answer 10

I grew up spanked and I was never afraid of my parents. Where did you come up with that garbage that kids who geta swat on the behind every now and then grow up afraid of their parents? You now know that is garbage.

Putting kids in time out is hardly punishment for stealing, unnecessarily calling the cops, etc. I'm sure your grandparents spanked their kids, and I bet their kids turned out just fine.

To all anti-spanking people, please, I have seen you tap your kid on the shoulder harder than many kids get spanked. Also, what are you going to do when your child throws a tantrum in the store..HMMM? Let him continue it until you get home? A spanking parent would swat the kid on the butt one and make the kids stop. What are you going to do if your kid runs off, you look for him/her for several minutes in a public place, and finally find him/her? Put him/her in time out in a public place with a lot of activity going on? No, a spanking parent would swat the kid, and that would be the end of that. A time out parent would let it go and maybe get the kid to stand in the corner 5 minutes after they get home. Then the kid says to themselves,"I ran away from mommy, and all I got was 5 minutes in the corner, so I can do it again, and my punishment won't be much at all.

Answer 11

Spanking on the butt is OK. Slapping the face or beating is wrong.

When the child does something that will hurt themselves or others, a simple smack on the butt will get their attention and make them think the next time.

Telling little Johnny that it was wrong and he need to think about it is the first thing to do. But if that doesn't work or get through to the kid. One spank, will