How important is a woman's home to a guy when it comes to relationships? Does it matter where she lives?

Question

Reason is my best friend confessed to me why guys don't want to continue going out with me. My place is organized, the only problem is that is an old apartment complex. Is that very important in being in a relationship?

Answer 1

I don't see why that would be a problem as long as you are neat and clean (I know that it is a double standard, but if a girl's place is messy, guys think that you have no self esteem). Guys usually don't get as hung up on how much money a potential spouse makes the way that women do (unless he is poor himself, and he wants to marry a rich woman), so he shouldn't be dumping you just because you obviously live in a low rent area. You are not trying to date rich, snobby guys, are you? Date middle class guys instead

Unlike the really rich snobs who've been privileged all of their lives, middle class guys are more realistic and won't care where you live -- as long as there aren't any dead bodies laying around outside (safety issues).

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Some of your other answerers got me thinking. If a guy has his heart set on living in an upscale neighborhood in a fancy home sometime in the future, he might see your place and conclude that you have different spending habits than him, or different priorities in life, and decide that the two of you are not compatible. I would not change who you are just because you think that someone somewhere might not like the real you. If you are comfortable living in a low rent apartment, because you want to do other things with your money (like save & invest), and he does not like this because he is a big spender instead of a saver, then the two of you are better off splitting up and finding someone else to date.

Answer 2

I have often wondered the same thing, Dear. I am 46, single, never married, no children. In my opinion, if where you live is going to affect the way a guy thinks about you, then he is superficial and not worth knowing. I live in a single apartment in Los Angeles in an older building but it's fairly nice and I have decorated it (Christmas lights, silk parachute hanging over the bed, beautiful wonderful music like old Genesis and Yes softly playing, lighted cupboards filled with crystals and cool things to look at, etc.) in a way that when my guy walks in his eyes light up, it is a place he prefers to be when he wants to really be happy and relaxed, and many is the time he says "I wouldn't be anywhere else in the world right now!" I work for the City of Los Angeles and make good money, but choose to sock it away in a retirment account or spend my money on things I consider to be much more important than a nicer place to impress some guy...like rescuing cats & kittens, or donating money to my favorite charities.

Answer 3

I think it would be more important that your home is clean and organized rather than how old is the complex.

There may be a very good reason why you live there. You may not be able to afford anythng better.

Personally, the appartment complex would matter to me to the extent how safe it is there. I would not want to date a girl that I constantly would fear for her safety and my safety when I visit her because of the place she lives.

Good Luck

Answer 4

It does matter so some extent. I don't know if this applies to you but;
1. If it's too cheap I tend to think our finances are just to different.
2. If it's too messy I assume she likes it that way and we're going to clash on cleanliness.

Everyone is going to rush to say it doesn't matter to them but it does say a lot about us and anyone who's honest has to admit that they think about it when they see someone's home. I'm not saying that this will be a big part of someone's decision about whether to date you. Anyone implying that is being childish. But our home says a lot about who we are.
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Maybe kja63 is right about very young guys but the older we get the more we expect from the person we might be spending a lifetime with.

Answer 5

If someone won't date you because you live in an "old" apartment complex, then they aren't worth your time. If you were a slob and had bugs and trash and generally junk everywhere I could see an issue...if your place is reasonably tidy/clean then where you live shouldn't be an issue. If it's a "bad" neighborhood then they should just invite you to their place more often.

Answer 6

If you maintain your apartment and keep it clean, then that's all that matters. If you owned your house and it was unkept inside and out, then it would show that you are somewhat irresponsible. Now, is it the building you live in or more so, the neighborhood? Going into a bad neighborhood is not fun at all.

Answer 7

Even if your stuffs are organized a guy also looks on your neighborhood. If it's old and a bad neighborhood then they he will look at you the same as what he thinks the neighbors are.

Answer 8

Totally irrelevant. About the only thing a guy cares about (for the most part) is that there is a bathroom, a kitchen, a TV, and of course, a bedroom.

Answer 9

I believe it kinda shows what kind of person you are.
If it is nice and clean, then thats more of the kind of person one would want to move in with. Would you want to move in with someone who has week-old pizza boxes lying around with clothes everywhere? I think not.

Answer 10

Not in my eyes, heck no!
shallow guys...not worth your time. Find one who cares about you even if you have not a penny, and no matter how you look, but who you are.

Never lower your standerds for another. =)

Reft