My ex gf is a really troubled soul. She cheated on me numerous times because we were out of touch for 2 weeks and I wasn't the voice of reason to help her make the decision not to do that. Now I am weeks from being in Iraq and she says she doesn't love me because she feels guilty about her decisions. It's a lot to deal with but now I am in another relationship but it still puzzles me. Did I always have to be there to keep her faithful? If so what does that say about the relationship we had? She says that if her and her new bf break up then she'd probably want to be with me again. Should I fall for that mess? Would she deserve a second chance? Is the whole guilt thing a load of bull? Please help me out here?
2007-07-18 05:32:35 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
omg, what a load of cr@p! don't fall for her wishy washy bullpoop. leave her in the dust and don't look back. she obviously wants to have everything immediately for instant gratification and doesn't think about the consequences or how it will effect other people.
2007-07-18 05:39:17 · answer #1 · answered by colormehappy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a saying, wrong me once, shame on you. Wrong me twice, shame on me.
I think you are fortunate to have found out now that your ex can not be trusted. She would have put you at risk, if this had happened say six months from now while you are in Iraq.... It would have caused you to be distracted which might have gotten you or someone else killed.
What her actions say about your relationship was that she is shallow and doesn't deserve a good decent guy. No do not fall for this mess again. Yes the guilt thing is a load of bull.
You have a different girlfriend... so go on with your life and leave the last one out of the picture totally.
Have a safe deployment and come home safe.....
2007-07-18 12:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. 2 weeks? Humph! She will never make it as a military wife. No, you don't always have to be there. Maybe she is really young and immature. I was married to a military guy when he started the war in March. When the prez came on TV it was my birthday and he ended up being gone almost a year. Two months went by once and I didn't hear anything from him because someone in his platoon died; they stopped mail. I stayed faithful to him for the whole time. Sadly, our marriage ended because he has a lot of problems understandably, it was his decision.
I just want you that example to know that anybody in the military deserves respect...as you do. So what if you were gone only 2 weeks. Sheesh. While you are defending her right to live in this country and do anything she wants...she goes and cheats? Selfish people annoy me.
I'm so sorry. You deserve better! And thank you very much for defending my freedom and serving our country.
2007-07-18 12:41:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got out of the same situation with my ex. I fully believe that if you both truly love each other, it shouldn't matter how far apart or how close you are, it should always be enough to stay faithful. I am all about second chances, but that is a decision that you have make on your own. Do you really feel that she loves you or is she saying it because she always has to have someone there all the time?
2007-07-18 12:40:37 · answer #4 · answered by mistyd_hack 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't say anything about your relationship. It says A TON about HER character!
Troubled or not, if you commit to being in a relationship, you know that cheating is a BIG no-no.
She does not deserve a second chance, because she blames you for her cheating; all because you weren't around to stop her.
People who cheat generally have self-esteem issues. They don't feel lovable, so they don't allow themselves to be truly loved. Instead, as soon as someone shows interest, they give in and that's how they interpret themselves as being desirable. People who don't love themselves can never really love others. Your ex needs to get some counseling, but it can't come from you. You're too close to the situation.
You were not, and are not, responsible for her bevavior. We are all in charge of ourselves.
Thank goodness you are in a new relationship. Hopefully it will be much healthier than your previous one.
I sincerely wish you the best, and I thank you for fighting for our country.
2007-07-18 12:38:05 · answer #5 · answered by diva_500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not deserve a second chance- sounds like you gave her some, and she blew them off! She didn't need you there to make a decision whether to cheat on you or not- she can decide it for herself- and she did, she chose the wrong one. I am very sorry that this has happened, however time will heal! Don't fall for it- in the end you'll be happy that you moved on.
2007-07-18 12:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is exactly what u said.. a troubled soul.. she is obviously very confused in what she does and doesnt want.. dont give her another chance if its in a few weeks/months.. a good year and yeah mayb.. she needs a lil time to grow up and realise what she wants in a relationship.. she sounds like she needs attention 24/7 atm and she clearly needs to be single..if your in a new ralationship why are u even thinkin about wether u should give her another chance if she breaks up with her new guy? there is one thing to be said about that.. at least she is concidering AFTER her new man.. lol
2007-07-18 12:39:55 · answer #7 · answered by ashlee jade : 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she cheated on you once, I might could see the guilt thing being true. However you said shes done this many times...meaning she didn't learn from her actions the first time and will probably keep on doing it. Nothing you could have done to prevent this. Cut this chick out of your life. You'll be better off...trust me.
Good luck in Iraq.
2007-07-18 12:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by kaye t 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is the most horrible thing anyone could say to anyone before deployment. you two were in a relationship...she should have been faithful no matter what. if you had to "hold her hand" then you didn't need to be with her in the 1st place. she has commitment issues and she has to deal with that on her own terms. NO!! don't fall for that mess. it's just a guilt trip. best wishes to you on your deployment. I've been twice. it has it ups and downs. if you've been before then I'm sure you already know. best wishes to you and keep yourself safe.
2007-07-18 12:37:16 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah... she really is a troubled soul... And causes a lot of stress and anxiety... I'm surprised you even think of going back together.. She cheated more then once..And what the heck means " did I always have to be there to keep her faithful"???? sounds to me like she never really loved you in the first place..
2007-07-18 12:43:29 · answer #10 · answered by Chips 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she can't be alone for 2 wks without cheating, she's got issues. Move on and leave her behind...nobody should have to be around to monitor their partner's behavior or to talk them out of cheating. Every thinking person knows its not a kewl thing to do, some just choose to do it anyway (for selfish reasons).
Enjoy your new gf and leave the cheater to her issues...she's got some karma to deal with and maybe eventually she'll be a mature and thoughtful person who'll be a worthwhile partner to someone else.
2007-07-18 12:36:47 · answer #11 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋