what would you do?

Question

if you are 1 of 4 kid's i do not hv a wife at this time som i moved back home to help with my mother which is sick however she can still get around it's my father the land which they live on was giving to my mother years ago by her mother my mother had told my sister the way she wanted to leave it but my father wants my baby bro to hv the house and most of the land . well i am the one who is here helping them out i do not care about the house ect..........but it's just hurts me to see that my mom will do what he wants she will not fight him on this my sister feels why should she fix anything up if our brother is going to get it and the houst does need repairs made to it at this time. my mother wants me here to help with her but my father run's everything if i clean the house up he puts everything back the way it was. he makes me feel like a child help

Answer 1

well just ignore him and the rest and just do what is asked of ur mother before something ends up going wrong..u rather see ur mother live happy before she goes....and that isnt fair for u n ur sis to fix the house if ya aint the ones gettin it.....

Answer 2

Your family needs to close in on Mom, doing and giving her anything she needs. It shouldn't matter to anybody who gets what when. If she leaves it all to one kid, blame dad, not Mom. She was too weak to put up a fuss, and she didn't want to fight with Dad.

Have a family meeting (even over the phone) of all the players in this situation, discuss the needs, who's going to provide them, and work together like a family. Split the costs, if you need to. You've GOT to keep Mom comfortable, no matter the cost. Your sister's attitude is childish.

If all of you need to remind dad of why you're living there, so be it. You don't want to start a conflict with him, but there should be the proper respect.

My mom died of lung cancer 2 years ago, and I was the only child with the heart and stomach to nurse her. My father was 70+ years old and just couldn't physically hold up. I spent every penny I could lay my hands on for food, clothing, anything that would make her feel better (my parents were broke). My sister paid for her meds. My brother & his wife found a little apartment and moved them into it, and helped out alot where they could, though my brother was too upset by the situation to even look at mom near the end.

It was one of the hardest periods of my life, watching her die, and I have great respect for you, because I know how hard it is to take care of a sick mom. But I look back on that time, and I think, I thought I was weak, but I was strong. I gave her everything I had when no one else could. It makes me proud as a daughter. No one can take that away from me and no one can take it away from you.

After the funeral, money started pouring in--gifts from friends to help with funeral costs. The funeral was paid for, bills were paid, but there was still this chunk of money--cash, and Dad decided that we'd all laid out money for Mom's illness, and he divided it among us. Ours was enough to sponsor a much-needed short trip to DC for our family.

Don't sweat the small stuff, just focus on Mom. Give Dad what he needs, try to talk to him, but everybody just needs to make Mom comfortable. In the end, that is what you will be most proud of--that you didn't let her suffer.

Debbie

Answer 3

You need to sit down with your parents and clear this up. You haven't indicated how old you are, but right now you sound more like a teenager than an adult.

If you want your world to be the way you like it, you need to stand up for yourself and be very clear about your expectations, whether the expectations are about inheriting property or about how you and your parents relate to each other. No one can ever make you feel like a child unless you give them permission to do so!

Stand up, be who you really are, and handle whatever you need to handle. You can do this!

Answer 4

Give him time he still sees you as a child and he also sees you as tring to take over. Set down Talk with your dad let him know why you are there. also How old is your Father?? Time nothing Good is instant

Answer 5

Your parents have issues that don't concern you. Be there for your parents, but don't get involved. Their conflict has nothing to do with you.