Catholic pre-marriage classes?

Question

We need a little help! My bf and I are getting engaged as soon as he gets to the US (he asked me to be his wife but wants to propose w/a ring when we see eachother again).
Once he gets his visa ~no he's not trying to use me for a green card we love eachother~ we need to get married within a certain amount of months, I think it's 2months, but we both want a church ceremony. I am Catholic and he's Christian and I know we can both get married in the Catholic church but I've heard about the pre-marriage classes and you have to take them 6 months before the ceremony. We don't have that much time and we both do NOT want a civil ceremony even as a 1st ceremony. We both want a priest to marry us, and our faiths are very similar if not the same, so I know it won't be a problem with the marriage. But what can we do since we only have a small window for a wedding once he gets here? We really want to be married in the church.

yes i know catholics are christians
and we date face to face.. we've spent a few months together in person and have been seeing eachother for over 8 months
So finding a Christian priest would be easier?

Answer 1

u don't have to get married in a catholic church. get married in a different church and u won't have to take the classes.

Answer 2

The purpose of the classes isn't to convert anyone, but to make sure that the couple understand the importance of this LIFE-LONG COMMITMENT and Sacrament. It's generally a one-day or couple of hours over several days session in a group of couples. The purpose is to make you think about and discuss your differences in finance, lifestyles, dreams and desires.

As I approached the alter, my brother told me that most grooms look at their brides and think that she will never change; most brides look at their grooms and think of whatthey will change them to be; and both are wrong.

You haven't described the normal courtship and relationship here. You have seen the genuine concern and questions from many of the replies. The priest will have these same concerns if he cares at all about you as a person.

Talk with a priest to start planning the wedding. Scheduling the church generally takes six months, the Pre-Cana classes are probably offered once a month or more and can be taken a month before the cerimony. If there are other issues and concerns, the earlier you get them out in the open, the more time you have to address them.

Unfortunately, if one priest won't give you what you want another one probably will. I just hope you don't short-change yourself on this very important process in order to meet this time schedule.

Answer 3

Depending on your Diocese, pre-marital counseling is at the disrection of the clergyman performing the wedding. I would VERY much suggest talking to him, explaining the visa situation.

It may be possible to have your Fiance Visa extended in light of the religious constraints. The State cannot force the occurrence of a religious ceremony and to force you to undergo a secular wedding would violate your first amendment rights. So in light of those facts, there is most likely an established way to deal with the pre-marital requirements of the Catholic church.

I understand an appreciate your personal need to be married in the eyes of God and Church. You should also note that as he is not Catholic, you would have to apply for a dispensation for "Disparity of Cult".

If you are willing to compromise on a Catholic Wedding to some degree, and the situation is dire, you can talk to your priest about a Dispensation for "Lack of Canonical Form." Being granted that dispensation will release you from the constraints of the requirements of the Catholic Church and permit you to be married outside of the church and have it recognized within the Church.

These are just some ideas and alternatives.

Answer 4

Interesting,

How long have you known each other? Have you dated face to face or just via on line?

(Two questions you are going to be asked) As a Catholic, you know how seriously we take Marriage vows. I think we would need some more information.

Being in that big of a hurry is normally a red flag to most Priests that something is up, or at a minimum the two may not have thought it through enough. I am not saying that is you two, just that is going to be the concern.

You really need to talk with your Priest, and the sooner the better, the more time in advance he knows about your plans, the better chance he can (and will) be able to make arrangements.

Good Luck and God Bless you both!

Answer 5

I'm sorry to tell you, but that might not be possible =[ For you being a Catholic, you sure know that when the Catholics set a rule, they stick to it. The question is, are you getting married at the Catholic church that you belonged to say as a child/adult? If so, maybe you personally know the priest, monseignor, deacon, etc... Maybe you could work something out with the priest. The Catholics are very strict in this field of religion, being that it is one of the seven Sacred Sacraments. If you cannot do this, maybe you could re-think about getting married in the Catholic church, and go to your husbands. I know that this must be tough for you, because the wedding usually takes place in the bride's choice of church, but if you really would like to get married to the man you love, that is just a consideration.

Answer 6

. there are many christian ministers that will marry you with out 6 months of classes . . I was a catholic when I was a child but no longer I was told by a priest our marriage would not work cause we are of different faiths but we've been married 18 years and still happy as the first date we had ..we did not marry in the catholic church because I was not going to attend marriage classes and neither was my husband we were married by a minister and a personal friend

Answer 7

I like the 6 month class thing but

IF,

there is a problem with time, I am not sure what to say. I do know that the two of you need to sit down as put down all of your differences in doctrine. This has been a downfall of marriages; I do not know how many but a significant number.

I do have a question for you. Have you ever heard of the, "church of 'GOD''? I affiliate with the Anderson movement. Everyone else will suggest you visit their church denomination as I also will suggest; that you visit one of our sister movement churches. By the way, we are not a denomination but a holiness group. Do not let that scare you. We do not believe in jibber-jabber, handling snakes, or any such thing; including rolling on the floor.

Answer 8

Pose your delimma to the priest - this is where he is an expert

Pre-marriage classes force you to confront the seriousness of marriage - they force you to put aside the love and infatuation and deal with the other things that create failed marriages - like medical , family issues - they socratically drive you to acknowledge why you are getting married - is it for the great sex ? , or trying to escape the psycho parents ? or, you love this person but you hate her drinking, carousing, swearing, reckless behavior, smoking, or if you dont marry this person they will kill themselves - many people spend more time buying a house or car than they do finding a mate - many relationships are bad habits .. Marriage doesnt change anything - and when people a looking to marriage to create a fairy tale - they become disillusioned when it does not - its all about maturity ..

But - a weekend retreat is probably all you need ..

Answer 9

whats the rush? if you want to be married in the catholic church you have to follow the guidelines set out and that includes informing the priest at the parish you wish to be married at 6 months ahead of the wedding date. in some parishes you have to go on pre-marriages retreats too. you should really talk to your priest and see what he advises.

Answer 10

I would talk to your priest asap, or someone who works for the diocese. They might be able to work something out.

If not, and personally I don't like this, but you could have a low key civil ceremony and then have a full blown wedding in the Church.

Talk to your priest first, or ask the guys at EWTN.

Answer 11

You said, "Your a Catholic and he's a Christian". Don't you know that Catholics ARE Christians too?

Regardless, talk to the priest about your situation and I'm pretty sure you can work something out.