Recently, my ex-girlfriend called me on my birthday after about five months of no contact. She encouraged me to contact her, made it clear she wanted me in her life and ended the call abruptly with the words, "I love you in my own way."
Unfortunately for me, I learned that she is living with a man she was having an affair with while she was with me. I was very upset and surprised. Frankly, I'm baffled.
Are any of you familiar with this kind of experience? What's your honest read on the situation?
2007-07-18 04:31:43 · 14 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girls do some weird things, don't they? Okay, I'm biting on this one. After 5 months, she still remembered your birthday, called you out of the blue, encouraged you to contact her, wants you in her life and "loves you in her own way."
Your second paragraph cinched it for me. The guy she lives with now is the same guy she was seeing behind your back. Well, I would say that her relationship with said man, is growing stale or bad and now she's setting you up to be the "other man." By telling you she loves you in her own way is softening the grooming. What I mean by that is she's wording it in a certain way to make you think it's normal, okay, whatever.
Sounds like she hasn't changed, dude, the choice, of course, is up to you....how you want to act upon it is in your hands.
2007-07-18 04:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in his position before and it sucks. He is either really trying to not hurt her or he's playing you both. You need to decide which one you think it is and act accordingly. If you think he is truely trying to help her then you need to make sure that he does tell her that he will be a friend but that any romantic notions she may have are out. He needs to be firm because believe it or not he is not helping her, he is only making the inevitable worse. The worse case is that he is just with you until he can be with her or with you and her at the same time with no intentions of ever letting her go. Either way you need to give him an ultimatum, it's you or her.
2016-04-01 10:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it could be a myriad of things - women are crazy like that...She could have been remembering it was your birthday and then started reminiscing about all the good times you shared together. She could have gotten in a fight with her current dude and temporarily wanted the comfort of another man (by telling you how she felt about you, you would then reciprocate and make her feel loved/comforted) Or she just genuinely misses your friendship and wanted to express how she feels - sort of saying sorry in not so many words.
Have you had any contact with her since her call?
If you want to reach out and try to rekindle your friendship with her then go for it, its your perrogative...But she IS living with another man and you need to respect that - even if she didn't respect you by cheating with you while you were together.
Are you currently in a relationship now? If not think of it this way - would you still be thinking about this call with your ex if you were in a relationship with an amazing woman? If you are in a relationship and this ex is making you think about her call, then maybe you need to assess your current situation....
I feel like a lot of women have this sort of safety mechanisim in them where they want to hold on the exes for comfort, friendship, and for someone to say "i miss you" when they don't have anyone around them who is making them feel that way. Especially because she is LIVING with another man - i would accept her call with open arms, in a way she's opened the door to a friendship - but you don't have to accept it.
Just know that you are on good terms and leave it at that.
2007-07-18 04:48:01 · answer #3 · answered by Ilikepinepple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn..are you me? I am having this same exact thing happen...I have chalked it up to the fact that she is just a very confused troubled girl that I have no interest in wasting my time on anymore...she is not healthy for me and this behavior is proof of that...If you are not a Drama-King...then just ignore the situation...If you like a little drama in your life, then go after the situation, but you will most likely find out that she is just testing your waters and will break your heart again (assuming she did in the first place)...
2007-07-18 04:37:44 · answer #4 · answered by That Guy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she likes to be in control. and have a few guys as back up in case something goes wrong with one of the others. She wants it all, and that is not good for you if you wanted a serious relationship. dont be second or third choice to anyone. don't answer her calls - just move on...
2007-07-18 04:40:14 · answer #5 · answered by brandi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has reached the point with him where she isn't feeling so attractive or sexy like she did when they first got together. She wants to use you to make her feel that way again. If you get something out of it, go for it. But realize she isn't there for you... it is very selfish and she will break your heart again if you let her.
2007-07-18 04:36:42 · answer #6 · answered by L B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It does not matter what she wants or what she thinks she wants. If she is with this other guy but is still trying to get with you, you should stay away, she seems like a psycho chick with too much drama.
2007-07-18 04:37:12 · answer #7 · answered by The Teacher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The truth:
she either finally understands what it means to lose u... or that dude did something to her and nows shes prolly desperate and wants to get back with u...
2007-07-18 04:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by wasamen07 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Shes a player.
What she left you for was an idiot.
She cheated and a man took her knowing she cheated.
How stupid.
You would be the idiot to play her game.
she wants to play you.
Run
RUN
RUN
Its a game and a bad one.......
2007-07-18 04:36:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that she is hoping you willl sit in the side nd wait for her till she wants you bak?? or maybe she loves u as a freind either way she dont deserve your love if she cheated
2007-07-18 04:36:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋