Okay I'm hoping for a few serious responses here...
I'm Atheist, and my BF and his Dad's side of the family are Catholic. I haven't met them all yet, but I have the opportunity to meet all of them in about two weeks. They are gathering for his cousin's coronation ceremony, as he is studying to be a lawyer at the Vatican in Rome. Obviously, the ceremony will be in a church. I have been atheist since I was 13, and on principal, have avoided churches. We can either go to the coronation, or just meet up with everyone afterwards for a get-together.
For any atheists out there, would you personally attend a ceremony such as that under these circumstances, or would you just skip it and go to the "after-party" of sorts?
2007-07-18 02:20:29 · 20 answers · asked by InfinitePink 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Just to add: BF is Agnostic and therefore does not care whether we attend the ceremony or not. His family doesn't care either; they do not know my position or my bf's on religion, but they are very easy going and pretty much just want us to meet the family. We've been together six years, so it's about time!
I originally considered going to the ceremony based on the fact that I have studied the Catholic religion quite a bit and find it interesting, so I figured the ceremony might be fairly interesting to watch.
I haven't had to deal with weddings yet, as I'm only 22 and no one I know personally has gotten married. I figured I would cross that bridge when I get to it; sure it isn't a big deal to go to a church, but it is naturally a situation I would prefer to avoid if possible.
Thanks for your advice everyone!
2007-07-18 02:42:07 · update #1
Oh, and the reason I am hesitant is because of what happened last time I went to a Catholic ceremony with a family that wasn't my own; the family was actually very rude and forceful with me, which I know wouldn't be the case with my SO's family, but it left a bad taste regardless.
2007-07-18 02:53:08 · update #2
It all depends on how important attending this ceremony is to you, and your family. If the church part is really not a big deal, then skip it.
If it really is the highlight of the entire ceremony, and if you can take it, without feeling sick, then go.
I've attended masses in other faiths, and it really wasn't a big deal.
But really, it is a personal question, and it boils down to why you are an atheist, and what you feel you are compelled to do.
2007-07-18 02:26:26 · answer #1 · answered by Sapere Aude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are an atheist, then religion has no meaning...but the ceremony does have meaning to the family that you are marrying into. I think it would be an act of good will to attend. What could it hurt? I have always attended Christenings and First Communions of my family because it makes my family happy. Family is always the most important thing. Standing on your principals when it can hurt people is pointless. There is no god, so you know that you aren't accountable for being there by a god, so do what your conscience tells you.
atheist (THINK)
2007-07-18 09:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by AuroraDawn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the ceremony. I personally have no problem going to functions that are held in churches and the Vatican churches have a lot of historical significance which I actually find very interesting. It's also best to show his family that you are not closed-minded by attending the ceremony to show your support. You don't necessarily have to participate in religious activities, simply attending the function will show that you care about your boyfriend and his family.
2007-07-18 09:25:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would go. It sounds interesting. I go to weddings in churches because it's a special event. I don't feel I have any reason to avoid a church. They are usually beautiful buildings and I can appreciate them for what they are. As for being a nonbeliever and attending a religious ceremony, I go but do not participate in the religious stuff like the prayers or offerings, etc.. I go to things like that to support other people.
2007-07-18 09:26:35 · answer #4 · answered by Pico 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the ceremony for a couple of reasons, the greatest one being that it's a significant event in his life and I would feel it was the right thing to celebrate it in the spirit it's offered. Apart from that, it sounds like it would be an interesting thing to see, and an opportunity you might never get again.
I don't have any problem going to church for life events, or when it's clear it would really mean something to someone who is close to me.
2007-07-18 09:28:36 · answer #5 · answered by Let Me Think 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you're going with your bf, and it's his family, ultimately, whether I went or not would be based on what he wants to do.
I would have no problem doing this. I actually like going to church. Many churches are interesting and beautiful and I like the music and ritual even if I don't believe what the priest believes. You can rest assured that the congregation is filled with people who feel the same way in varying degrees. What you believe or don't believe is your own business and they're not going to ask you when you walk in the door.
2007-07-18 09:31:20 · answer #6 · answered by gehme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd go out of respect for the bf and his family.
When my cousin got married, it was in a Catholic church and as much as I thought it would burn down the second I walked in, it wasn't that bad. I just spaced out for most of the sermon.
Same goes for their baby's baptism.
If you think things with this bf are going to be serious, you'll have to make some sacrifices. Not change your beliefs, but at least don't prevent him from his.
Good luck! :)
2007-07-18 09:24:45 · answer #7 · answered by Steph 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Are you telling me you have never gone to a friends wedding at a church. Why would attending a ceremony effect any of your beliefs. You go to support your boyfriend and his family. Has nothing to do with a church.
There are many things in life you will do that you do not neccessarily believe in to support a friend of family member. that is part of being a friend and adult.
2007-07-18 09:31:17 · answer #8 · answered by The Lorax 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
going to the function wont make you a catholic. I think it would b wrong of u not to go. I used to b an athiest and my boyfs best friend got married in a church, I went... no big deal.
Its about having an open mind and accepting people reguardless of thier beliefs. Being an athiest doesnt mean churches are evil. You just dont believe in what they learn. Thats ok..... Go fot your boyfriend, and dont promote the fact you are athiest, only if the topic comes up
2007-07-18 09:28:47 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eh I would be good either way.
But if I was asked to come to the coronation I would go just out of politeness since it would not bother being in the church. But thats just me I mean if you really are adamant about not going into a Church then don't go
2007-07-18 09:25:01 · answer #10 · answered by John C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋