Recently found out that my bf of 3yrs got another gal's tel# and he admited to somewhat being attracted to her but denied ever wishing to ask her out(just wanted to be friends cos she had gud manners)cos he has me n loves me more than anything. i cry all the time when i think abt this, cnt sleep, cnt eat and feel sick to my stomach. i trusted him so much n never thought he'd do this. Feel so betrayed.
He has apologised so many times but i cnt bring myself to forgive him. Dnt know if he tries to justify it but he says that i also exchage #s with guys(its true, have male friends but thats exactly wht it is, varsity friends). M i losing my mind cos all he got was a stupid phone #....(Oh, am 20yrs he's 28) He called her after i had called her(gave me an attitude) n he told her to f* frm our lives. he has really done everything to show how sorry he is but i just cnt forgive n forget. am i overreacting or losing it
2007-07-18 02:02:07 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well I understand completely, but you will just have to make up your mind how important it is to you, and whether it is going to destroy your life.
What I think is important to do is, to
tell him that if he ever does more than be friends with another gal, you and him are finished... No discussion!!!! FINISHED !!!!
I would also ask him to think about what he will, or could lose, and if he thinks it is worth it. Good-luck
2007-07-18 05:14:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your relationship is over regardless of whether or not he was given another woman's phone number. If he's taking the phone number, then he's looking.
You are 20 and that is still very young to be with someone for 3 years.....Hang on a minute, you were 17 and he was 25? Er, he sounds like a loser anyway. I think the fact that you have written this question is just a means of postponing the inevitable. It is time to move on. He sounds immature (25 - 17?) and after a year or so, you will get really bored with him.
There are 6 billion people on this earth and if this guy isn't the one for you, then there is someone else.
Good luck.
2007-07-18 02:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by KD 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
from the info given... its a total overreaction. he seems secure in the relationship to be honest in order to tell you that he's attracted to her. if he was doing something underhand, he would prob deny it and again going from the info given, i don't see any reason why he should apologise for finding another girl attractive. I think you know within yourself that you are both overreacting. 'Losing your mind' is a bit excessive but you need 2 talk 2gether instead of askin questions on y answers. What would be really silly is if a relationship of 3yrs is thrown away over a very vague link to another girl esp when you have no evidence of anything happening. If you continue behaving lyk this, you will eventually push him away as excessive insecurity is a turn-off. Also, its not healthy to be emotionally dependant on one person
2007-07-18 02:20:26 · answer #3 · answered by Quiet Storm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have been hurt by him being in touch with this other girl, and yes for you it would feel like he has betrayed you, you probably even feel like he has been with this girl behind your back, like you have been two timed, and that is not nice. i had a similar experience, i was was very hurt, and to hear him say to you she had good manners, that can hurt as well, you are not loosing your mind dear, he is with you and should not be attracted to someone else, if he is something tells me you are not meant for each other. or he is not happy maybe afraid to move on and have no one, he is playing it safe by trying to get to know some one else while he is still with you and if all goes well with the person he is with it could develop and maybe just maybe he would drop you like a hot cake. sorry to put it so blunt, but these are things to consider. you can never be up to them. and i guess us woman can be just the same, so I'm not saying it's just the guys out there.
2007-07-18 02:15:14 · answer #4 · answered by little star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself why do can't forgive him and forget......
It sounds like you have done the same by getting numbers of guys and he seems ok with it so why aren't you?
Trust me if your boyfriend was interested in this girl than he wouldn't have told you that he found her somewhat attractive. He wouldn't have ruined his friendship with her for you.
Why are you calling her anyway? It sounds like you are a very controlling girl and you're using this over dramatisation to control your boyfriend.
You need to deal with your insecurities or he'll end up leaving.
If you can't trust your boyfriend after 3 yrs than you have issues to sort out.
Chi Chi
2007-07-18 04:18:58 · answer #5 · answered by Chi Chi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are definitely not losing it be very alarmed he got some other girls number caus he wanted to form some sort of relationship wit her why else would he want to call her and i know he did not say that she had good manners what a lame excuse something like that happened to this girl i knew she and her boyfriend went out for about 3 yrs too one day she found out that he got this girls number and they had been talking on the phone for weeks thats when everything fell apart she broke up with him but took him back later on and he ended up getting another girl pregnant,trust me thats how it starts.don't ever trust him again
2007-07-18 02:13:21 · answer #6 · answered by rk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are doing neither,
if he has tried to proove that he loves you more then he obvioulsy does love you, I have had exactly the same problem with my girlfriend, except its to do with other people flirting with her.
Its best not to dwell on the past because it will just consume you and you will find that it will make things worse, if I was you, I would sit down with him and tell him all your thoughts and feelings on the subject.
And let him tell you all his thoughts as well.
I think that in time you will forgive him, and just remember he never did this to hurt you, he just wanted to be friends with this girl. I hope that this helps and you work things out between you.
And just let him know where you stand on this matter :-)
2007-07-18 02:11:31 · answer #7 · answered by knights_in 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my bf did that, except it was my best friend..first he followed her around and kept wanting to speak to her when i wasn't there, then he asked for her number...
he started to like my best friend, but he told me that he never liked her and that he loves me..
in the end he cheated on me,with some chic, and then tried to get with my bestfriend..thank goodness her being my best friend told him to f*ck off!
what im trying to say is, this girl isn't your best friend and if a girl likes a guy she wont care about the his gf feelings..she will take him...by taking another girls number, is already a sign that their might be problems..
if you ask him why, he also might tell you because she was a nice person or she was friendly and he wants to be friends..remember im sure you are a nice person too..
your not over reacting..give it some time and see what happens if he seems to be becoming distant from you or asking more girls for their numbers then maybe its time to end it!
2007-07-18 02:18:13 · answer #8 · answered by **M!$$Y** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! dont loose this guy over a silly womans number. please...keep what u have or you'll lose everythugn including him! you have been togetehr 3 yrs and dont let a number ruin it. yup, it might feel bad but when u look at it in a few mnths or yrs, you'll think 'over a silly mobile number?' NOWAY! 3 yrs and u sill have it...keep it up. dont lose him just coz she wants to break u two up! dont! your going mad so calm dwn and when you're ready...tell him u love him loads and make up with him. never lose your stuff over a looser. she isnt a threat coz he loves u ok? just remember that! now get yourself togetehr and look your best tonight and go out for a meal. pleeease? for him? for you? just be happy u got a guy who loves u and cares. dont let lil things in life upset u. he is all yours cos he says he is so smile. ppl like me have no1 so be happy he wants u. take care x
2007-07-18 02:38:32 · answer #9 · answered by allgiggles1984 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing neither, dear, what you two need to do is to talk about how you are feeling, and I would not want my husband to have another girls number, and he would not want me to carry around any man's number.
The only man's number I carry around is my mechanics!!!
Please talk to him, do not make yourself so distraught over this, life is to short,and it is not worth you getting all upset over, you have to take care of yourself, and you have to get this resolved, you are only human, and the fact that he is older, does not help, he does not think he is doing anything wrong, that is because he is older than you, and because of that, he does not think anything of it.
You are younger than him, and you deserve a man with honesty, truthfulness, and for him to honor you and for you to honor him.
From what I am getting from your question is that you are unhappy and maby you should find a man more of your age and one with more understanding. And maturity.
2007-07-18 02:14:38 · answer #10 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋